The Teaser for this event said, “It’s a battle for the ages! Wait, we mean a battle of the ages – kids and adults are at war in Springfield! But what could cause this generational divide – Unfair bedtimes? Too many vegetables? Territory rights to the town’s new playground? (That last one was so specific it has to be true). Can Bart lead the youths to victory over Homer’s aged army and claim Springfield’s new Mega Playscape?
This is the kind of event where you really need a “program to keep track of the players.” Bart Royale is less like a “royal flush,” and more like a game of 52 card pickup! But, that said, we do get a load of new items that are fun, and in some cases darn right rewarding for our efforts!
Let’s take a look at the FOURTH Prize of this Event:
The General Bart Skin.
General Bart is a Skin, with a list of tasks associated with this update, and beyond. He earns Prize Currency as well as regular game currency.
Placing General Bart Kicks off the Event Tasks Associated with them.
General Bart Dialogue
Bart of War Pt. 1
Bart : Come on, Milhouse. We’re late for gym class.
Milhouse : I don’t want to go, Bart.
Milhouse : My head still stings from dodgeball last week.
Bart : Today is floor hockey. It’s a whole different kind of sting.
After task assigned
Bart : This equipment sucks! This hockey stick is a banana taped to a broom handle!
Milhouse : And the hockey puck smells weird.
Bart : It’s yesterday’s cafeteria special – stuffed beef biscuit!
Willie : Tell Willie when you’re through playin’. He’ll warm yer puck up for his dinner.
Bart : Skinner, you’ve gotta give us better hockey equipment!
Skinner : Sorry, Simpson. The budget is shot for the year. You’ll have to purchase pucks yourself.
Bart : No one tells me to go puck myself! This means war!
After Completing Part 1
Bart of War Pt. 2
GeneralBart : First, I’m going to need to do some reconnaissance.
GeneralBart : I know teachers, and I know they always spend school funds on something for themselves.
GeneralBart : I just need to sniff it out.
GeneralBart : A new cappuccino maker, a 4k TV, and a massage chair!?
GeneralBart : They’re blowing the whole school budget on teachers’ lounge junk!
After completing Part 2, Task 3 Begins
Bart of War Pt. 3
GeneralBart : Milhouse, get the division together.
Milhouse : Okay, but there aren’t many boys around… jock itch outbreak.
GeneralBart : Tough times demand tough decisions — you’ll have to get the girls, too.
Milhouse : I have a hard time talking to girls.
GeneralBart : Imagine they’re boys who smell good and tell them all to meet at the front of the school.
When task is assigned
GeneralBart : Fellow students! I stand before you today not as the cowabunga kid… but as a reluctant soldier fighting the corruption of our wannabe educators!
GeneralBart : And what is their lesson? Look out for yourself, at the expense of those you are responsible for
When Tasks are complete, Part 4 is prompted…
Bart of War Pt. 4
GeneralBart : Alpha Unit, flood the gym. Bravo, egg the teachers’ cars. Charlie, set off the sprinklers in the teachers’ lounge.
GeneralBart : Milhouse, you’re with me.
Milhouse : Yes! What unit are we?
GeneralBart : The nuclear unit.
After task assigned
Skinner : All the junk you destroyed is covered by insurance, Simpson. You’re only helping us get new things.
GeneralBart : Then you leave me no choice… Milhouse, time to go nuclear!
Milhouse : *whines* Mommy! I got a boo-boo from gym class!
Bart : And the gym floor ate my shorts!
Marge : What? Not your trademark blue shorts?! I’ll be taking this to the highest level!
SuperintendentChalmers : SKIN-NNNER! Why am I being barraged with calls from parents bellyaching about the gym?
Skinner : Sir, it’s difficult to maintain a proper environment for a physical education class.
SuperintendentChalmers : I noticed a lot of new contraptions in your teachers’ lounge. Trade those in for new dodgeballs, football flags, or whatever these parents are griping about. I’ll not have them interrupting my golf day.
Skinner : Yes, sir.
GeneralBart : Kids beat grown-ups once again! The battle is won, but the war of youth continues!
What do YOU think about General Bart? Do you love his “Kick Ass” attitude? Do you think he looks “cool” in shades? Let us know!