Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Round 2 of Simpsons Wrestling is underway…
The Simpsons Wrestling Event follows the same event structure of the Multi-Events before it. This event consists of 4 parts (or Acts), with each part lasting just over a week (10 days) and taking us through a new part of the event!
For Act 2 we’re tasked with collecting Folding Chairs! Each part of the story will unlock another prize themed for the second part of the story.
Honest Abe is a brand new costume for Grampa Simpson, not a new character for Springfield, and part of the Simpsons Wrestling Character Collection:
How You Unlock it:
The Springfield Flimflam Pt. 5
Make Springfielders Threaten Amadopolis-x5. 1hr
Collect Folding Chairs- x150.
Once achieved you’ll unlock the costume…
WDTCF: “Gorgeous Grampa” S24, E14
Voiced: Yes (of course, it’s Grampa)
Honest Abe does come with a full questline, here’s a look at that questline:
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 1
Burns: Well, if it isn’t Honest Abe!
Honest Abe: Burns, you’ve already recovered from the Diving Corkscrew Elbow Drop I gave you in the ring?
Burns: My good man, that elbow drop did more for my back than my chiropractor has in thirty years. Do me again, Abe!
Honest Abe: *lifts Mr. Burns*
Burns: *back cracking sounds* Aaaaahhh, that’s some good old fashioned bone-on-bone action…
Make Honest Abe Piledrive Mr. Burns- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Bart: You okay, Mr. Burns?
Burns:*laying on the ground* I can’t feel my legs. Before they pained me so. Now nothing! I’ve never felt so alive! Smithers, pick me up! I want to do the Five Step Waltz! No…this is a celebration. Make it a Six Step Waltz!
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 2
Marge: Abe, I don’t think Body Slamming a hundred-plus year old man is very wise.
Honest Abe: You’re right, Marge. I should stick to slamming ninety-year-olds!
Marge: I mean you’re no spring chicken yourself. You shouldn’t be getting in the ring at all at your age.
Honest Abe: At my age?! I’d Body Slam you right now if it wouldn’t make Christmas awkward! That’s it. I challenge the whole darn town! Five hundred bucks to anyone who dares take Honest Abe in the ring.
Nelson: Hmm, five hundred bucks would buy a lot of sleeves for my vest…
Make Honest Abe Give Nelson a Half-Nelson- 8hrs, $275, 70xp
Wiggum: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Abe, you can’t beat up a little kid. That’s our job. Now unhand that bully. And I’ll take the cash as evidence.
Wiggum: Here’s fifty bucks to forget this ever happened.
Lou: A hundred bucks puts me in a coma till next Tuesday.
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 3
Honest Abe: If I can’t wrestle little kids anymore, what’s the point of being alive?
Bart: Come on, Grampa. There’s gotta be somebody who’ll take your challenge.
Lovejoy: Prepare to meet your maker, Abe.
Ned: Reverend?! Jesus climbed onto a cross, but you climbing into a ring is a whole different thing.
Lovejoy: Ned, the Good Book tells us that Jesus will return in the end times heavily tattooed, wearing blood-soaked robes, with swords coming out of his mouth. This is as close to Jesus as I can get. I’m getting in that ring and laying down the law. The Law of Moses!
Ned: Well, I can’t recite a contradictory scripture so… tag team?
Lovejoy: So it is written… tag team.
Make Honest Abe Tag Team the Bible Thumpers- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Helen Lovejoy: Timothy Lovejoy! Why in God’s name are you wrestling?!
Lovejoy: That’s exactly why, Helen. All in God’s name.
Helen Lovejoy: And Ned! You’re wrestling too?
Ned : I got a tag team dream with a death wish for a death match!
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 4
Burns: Abe, old friend. If you wish to prove you’re still the best in the squared circle, you’ll have to fight… Glamorous Godfrey!
Honest Abe: Glamorous Godfrey? But he’s retired! Also, side note: he’s ME! I can’t fight myself.
Frink: Did I hear something about molecular DNA disjointification cloning?
Honest Abe: Cloning?! Is that even possible?
Frink: With this machine it is! The BIFURCATION-inator. That stands for Breaking Into Flesh Until Really Catastrophic Anatomical—
Honest Abe: I’m sitting down. This explanation is longer than I thought.
Frink: –Tearing Is Only Natural… inator. I’ll sit down now too.
Make Honest Abe Clone Himself With the BIFURCATION-inator- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Gorgeous Grampa: *poofing into existence* What the–?! Who took me away from my preening mirror?
Frink: I can’t believe it worked! This is a scientific achievement of the highest order!
Honest Abe: Wait. You mean you never tested this thing before?!
Frink: Let’s not focus on the details. What’s important is that… uh-oh Godfrey is disintegrating, and melting, and… poof, he’s gone. Making a note here… solid progress.
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 5
Wolfcastle: Abe, I accept your challenge. But if I win then the money goes to Charity.
Honest Abe: Charity? Then I’d be honored to lose. Which charity?
Wolfcastle: Charity is my mistress.
Honest Abe: I shoulda known it was a screwy offer. I’ll be damned if–
Wolfcastle: Charity runs an organization for underprivileged children.
Honest Abe: Oh, sorry. Okay, but before I get in the ring with you, I want to see your preening skills.
Wolfcastle: I thought only Glamorous Godfrey concerned himself with preening.
Honest Abe: I don’t see preening!
Wolfcastle: Okay, okay, like this?
Honest Abe: More strut! Work the hair!
Wolfcastle: My body doesn’t move like that! *crack* Ach! My back! *falls to the ground* I can’t… go on…
Honest Abe: Oh, well. Guess I’ll just take my money then. I’m off to the spa. Give my best to Charity!
Make Honest Abe Get a Spa Treatment- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Honest Abe’s Permanent Tasks:
|Tighten Up the Old Beard||1hr||$70, 17xp||Wrestlers Dressing Room/Brown House|
|Get a Spa Treatment||4hrs||$175, 45xp||Outside/Visual|
|Stuff a Sock Down There||8hrs||$275, 70xp||Golden Ring Wrestling HQ/ Brown House|
|Train Laddie Liberty How to be a Baby Face||12hrs||$420, 100xp||Backyard Wrestling Ring/Golden Ring Wrestling HQ/Brown House|
And that’s it my friends, the details on Honest Abe, the final Act 2 prize…
Up next? Nothing. You’re finished with Act 2. Nothing to do but wait until Act 3 starts up Sunday morning at 10am ET.
Thoughts on the second act? How are you doing with the prize track? Still working on it? (don’t worry Act 3 doesn’t start until Sunday, so you’ve got a couple more days than usual) Sound off below!