Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
As we prepare for Act 4 of the Rise of the Robots event to start Tuesday, it’s time to wrap up Act 3 with a pretty little bow…in the form of the hilarious dialogue!
So here’s a look at the full dialogue for Who’s the Bot…just in case you missed it by tapping too fast…
Who’s the Bot Pt. 1
Brockman: In a turn of events that surprised absolutely no one, Smashius Clay and his small robot army have begun to conquer and enslave Springfield’s human population. Join us after the break when I will reveal my feelings about our new robot overlords.
Marge: Homer, this is terrible!
Homer: Are you kidding? The robots canceled all “organized human activities”, including work! WOOHOO! Hashtag Team Robot!
Smashius Clay: Come, Homer Simpson! You are our slave now, and we’ll be putting you to work in pointless menial labor for our amusement!
Homer: Aw! What’d I do to deserve this?
Smashius Clay: Our friend the bear robot says you were “very handsy”.
Homer: But…he’s so furry! I couldn’t keep them to myself.
Collect Circuit Boards- x115
Make Homer Be Sad About Doing Robot Work- 4hrs
Make Marge Consider Giving Robots a Stern Talking-To- 4hrs
Make Bart Hide From Robots- 4hrs
Make Lisa Hide From Robots- 4hrs
Lisa: Bart, this is serious! We gotta do something!
Bart: Us? Doesn’t Dad pay taxes for the government to take care of stuff like this?
Lisa: Dad cheats on his taxes by claiming everyone at Moe’s as dependents.
Who’s the Bot Pt. 2
Bestimus Mucho: Be at ease, human children! I, Bestimus Mucho, and my fellow pos-i-bots, shall lead you to victory over those rogue robots.
Lisa: Weren’t you a toy car a little while ago?
Bestimus Mucho: I can be any size!
Lisa: How does that square with the law of conservation of mass?
Bestimus Mucho: Good question, little human. Are you sure you’re not part robot? I absorb surplus mass from the environment as I pos-i-bize.
Lisa: But that car weighs a few ounces and you must weigh tons — where did you find that much surplus mass?
Homer: Woohoo! My belt almost fits!
Lisa: No further questions.
Bestimus Mucho: We pos-i-bots have been among you for many years, disguised as common household pieces of technology! Pos-i-bots pos-i-bize! Behold Toastericus, Blender Blending Rodriguez, and the Remotes — CableCo, TVset, and Mysterion!
Collect Circuit Boards-x115
Make Lisa Listen to Bestimus Mucho’s Plan- 2hrs
Make Bart Listen to Bestimus Mucho’s Plan- 2hrs
Bestimus Mucho: Go forth, young Simpsons, and awaken my brethren! Then I shall lead an army of pos-i-bots to liberate this fair city!
Lisa: So the solution to the problem caused by robot fighting is…more robot fighting.
Bestimus Mucho: Unexpected, is it not? I am a strategic genius! That is why I lead the pos-i-bots.
Bart: A total genius!
Lisa: I’m sure. *sigh* Let’s just get started…
Who’s the Bot Pt. 3
Apu: Greetings, esteemed young sugar fiend. Here for your daily 10,000 calorie Big Swig? Or perhaps I can interest you in our new YA addictables such as Nicotine Lips, Caffeine Taffy, or Charleston Chaw?
Bart: Apu? The robots haven’t enslaved you?
Apu: Actually they gave me the day off. They said my work ethic was making the robots feel pressured to keep up.
Bart: And you came to the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: When you have eight kids at home, working yourself into an early grave is like a day at the beach.
Bart: Okay, I need to find out if any of the appliances in here are pos-i-bots.
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: Yes! And let me tell you, “100% Natural Beef Hot Dogs” my shiny tin behind!
Apu: You promised you would never tell!
Collect Circuit Boards-x115
Make Bart Activate Pos-i-bots- 4hrs
Make Lisa Activate Pos-i-bots- 4hrs
Squishee Machine Bot: AAAAAAAAAAH!
Bart: What’s wrong with him?
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: Happens every day.
Squishee Machine Bot: Worst…brain freeze…ever…
Who’s the Bot Pt. 4
Smashius Clay: So, Bestimus Mucho, I might have known you’d side with the filthy organics!
Bestimus Mucho: It is every pos-i-bot’s duty to fight against injustice!
Smashius Clay: Really?
Bestimus Mucho: To be honest, we just really like to fight. Injustice is the excuse we use to feel good about ourselves. But enough personal revelation! Let us battle!
Collect Circuit Boards-x155
Make Bart Follow the Pos-i-bots Into Battle- 4hrs
Make Lisa Abhor Violence but Hope for the Best- 4hrs
Make Chief Knockahomer Fight Pos-i-bots- 4hrs
Smashius Clay: Ready to surrender?
Bestimus Mucho: Never! The pos-i-bots never give up! We shall defeat you and tear down your religious icon!
Smashius Clay: The giant Buzz Cola can? We just thought it looked cool. Besides, we’re kind of at the “making our human slaves do busy work just to keep ‘em out of our circuits” stage of robot domination at this point.
Who’s the Bot Pt. 5
Bestimus Mucho: I see our forces are evenly matched indeed! This shall be a long and greasy battle.
Smashius Clay: You know, if you really want to fight injustice, have you ever thought about how the humans treat you guys?
Hot Dog Cooker Bot: The things humans have tried to cook inside me! *shudder*
Squishee Machine Bot: They keep putting cups in places I would rather not have cups.
Bestimus Mucho: You raise a fair point, Smashius Clay. Perhaps we should discuss an alliance…
Bart: Wait, what’s happening?
Lisa: I don’t understand how you can watch so much TV and not see these things coming.
Collect Circuit Boards-x195
Make Bart Balk at Robots Joining Forces- 2hrs
Make Lisa Grab Bart and Escape- 2hrs
Smashius Clay: So it is agreed: we shall join forces and dominate the humans of Springfield like they have never been dominated before!
Bestimus Mucho: That makes us sound a little more kinky than we were going for, but yeah, let’s do it.
Smashius Clay: Say, where did your little human friends go?
Bestimus Mucho: Oh, those two? I wouldn’t worry about them. They’re pretty dim.
And that’s it my friends! The full dialogue for Act 3 of Rise of the Robots!
Thoughts on the dialogue? Did you read it live or catch up on it here? What was your favorite part of Act 3? Ready for Act 4 to start? Sound off in the comments below, you know we love hearing from you!