Rise of the Robots Premium Dialogue: Brenda and Cyborg Willie

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

The Robots are coming, the Robots are coming! Get ready for a dystopian Springfield, as the robots try to take over!  Can they be stopped?  It’s up to you to save Springfield in the latest event to hit our pocket-sized towns…Rise of the Robots!

For the third Act of this event, two new premium characters arrived in Springfield. One, Brenda, helps to earn event currency while the other, Cyborg Willie, arrived via a Gil “deal” and does not earn event currency.  Despite their differing currency earning potential, they both come with short, fun, questlines.

So let’s take a look at the questlines for both Brenda and Cyborg Willie, here’s the full dialogue for Compile Process Love and How is a Cyborg Like a Scot?…

More details on Brenda can be found here

Compile Process Love Pt. 1
Brenda starts

Wiggum: Brenda! There you are!
Brenda: Chief Wiggum! How did you find me in the Thai Food Factory?
Wiggum: Come on, Brenda, you’re more than just a negotiation bot to us! You’re part of the family! Plus, I had Lou LoJack you after the last time you ran away.
Brenda: *sigh* What do you need this time?
Wiggum: It’s ugly, Brenda. Really bad! Only your expertise can save an innocent life.
Make Wiggum Lead Brenda Back Into Service- 1hr
Make Brenda Follow Wiggum into Chaos- 1hr
Brenda: Wait, you want me to talk your son out of eating a box of crayons?
Wiggum: It’s a sixty-four pack with the colors with the funny names!
Sarah Wiggum: He already ate the glue, the paste, and a bag of glitter!
Ralph: “Non-Toxic” means it’s good for you!
Brenda: Oh, boy.

Compile Process Love Pt. 2
Brenda starts

Brenda: Do you understand the difference between food and non-food now, Ralph?
Ralph: If it doesn’t go in your nose, it doesn’t go in your mouth!
Brenda: Eh, close enough.
Wiggum: That was amazing, Brenda! He’s never put down an uneaten box of crayons before. Uh, listen. I could use another favor. Lou and Eddie haven’t been getting along lately…
Brenda: I’m a negotiator, Chief, not a relationship counselor!
Wiggum: One last favor and then I’ll drive ya back to the Thai Food Factory!
Brenda: *sigh* I’ll see what I can do.
Make Brenda Get Lou and Eddie to Work Things Out- 4hrs
Make Lou Begrudgingly Forgive Eddie– 4hrs
Make Eddie Begrudgingly Forgive Lou- 4hrs
Brenda: Do you understand now how you’re expressing honest feelings, but you’re expressing them destructively?
Lou: She’s right, Eddie. When I superglued your service revolver into your holster, I was just trying to say…I love you, man.
Eddie: Aw, Lou! I’m sorry I never want to go to Tofu Bell for lunch. Let’s go now!
Brenda: My work here is done.
Wiggum: Uh, not quite. Turns out I need one more favor…
Brenda: *sigh* What now?

Compile Process Love Pt. 3
Brenda starts

Smithers: I’m sorry, sir, but this time you’ve gone too far!
Brenda: What happened?
Smithers: He unleashed the hounds on me!
Burns: It was an honest mistake! It could have happened to anyone.
Smithers: You were yelling “Make Smithers pump those skinny legs!”
Burns: Hahaha! I mean, it was quite an unfortunate, if highly entertaining, sight.
Make Brenda Reconcile Burns and Smithers- 2hrs
Make Smithers Feel Safe to Express His Feelings– 2hrs
Make Burns Try Not to Laugh at the Memory- 2hrs
Brenda: Mr. Burns, are you really being honest about your feelings here?
Burns: I never have before, so it’s unlikely.
Smithers: But why did you unleash the hounds on me?
Burns: They needed their walk. What, am I supposed to unleash them on myself?
Smithers: Oh, sir. I’d happily take the hounds for a walk, if you’d just ask.
Burns: Fine. I’ll release the hounds on you at 6:30 every evening. Now you know.
Brenda: Oooookay. So you two are good now?
Burns: What, do you want a tip? Your services are no longer required.

Compile Process Love Pt. 4
Brenda starts

Wiggum: Okay, Brenda, I’ll take you home now as promised.
Hugh Jass: Wait! I need your help! I don’t want to lose Lara!
Tabitha Vixx: And Buck and I are trying to get back together again…I think!
Jesus Christ: My dad is ignoring me — again!
Brenda: Oh, brother.
Make Brenda Solve Relationship Problems- 12hrs
Make Springfielders Go to Brenda for Relationship Help– x5. 2hrs
Brenda: …so you see, you can solve a lot of these problems yourselves if you just listen to each other and WANT to make each other happy.
Lenny: *sniff* She’s so wise!
Cletus: My understandin’ of love has changed forever.
Brenda: Finally! Now I can—
Marge: Um, excuse me, officer. I was wondering, if it wouldn’t be any trouble…
Wiggum: Uh, you better let me take you back to the Thai Food Factory now, Brenda.
Brenda: No, it’s fine. I’m sure this will only take a minute.

Compile Process Love Pt. 5
Brenda starts

Brenda: Family dynamics are very challenging. Let’s all take a deep breath, and we’ll calmly and slowly take turns—
Homer: …just wanna relax after working all day is that so wrong…
Marge: …not complaining it would just be nice to have a little help…
Lisa: …no respect no one listens to me Bart is always…
Bart: …don’t even care I’m just talking because everyone else is talking…
Brenda: Um, okay, wait-wait-wait-wait…
Make Brenda Malfunction From Overwork- 8hrs
Make Simpsons Break Brenda– x4. 4hrs
Marge: Uh, heh heh! We’re very sorry, Chief Wiggum!
Wiggum: Ah, don’t worry about it, Marge. Really shoulda seen this one coming.
Lou: What are we gonna do with Brenda now, Chief? Can we afford to get her fixed?
Wiggum: Nah! We don’t have any room in the budget after buying the new donut warmer. But at least she’s still got a future in bomb disposal. Right Brenda?
Brenda: Must…find…bomb…

More details on Cyborg Willie can be found here…

How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 1
Cyborg Willie starts

Skinner: Willie, what are you doing just standing around with a broom and dustpan? Get to work!
Cyborg Willie: We are Cyborg. We do not understand this designation: Willie.
Skinner: Ugh, have you fallen in with that cosplay crowd? I was hoping this was just armor to protect from the recent beatings from the children. I wouldn’t say no to some armor myself.
Cyborg Willie: We are Cyborg. Everything we do is to serve the collective. We cannot hear your thoughts, but your robotic nature suggests you are part of the collective.
Skinner: Is this a cultural Scottish thing? Look, just say “aye” and get to work.
Cyborg Willie: You are accepted as part of the collective. How can we serve?
Skinner: Your arms are literally a broom and dustpan. Sweep!
Miss Hoover: My, my. A man with a rock-hard body who loves to clean? Be still my heart.
Cyborg Willie: We will sweep you off your feet.
Make Cyborg Willie Sweep-8hrs
Make Miss Hoover Ogle Cyborg Willie- 3hrs
Skinner: If you’re a cyborg, why do you still have a Scottish accent? I thought cyborgs were all about assimilating.
Cyborg Willie: We may be a transhuman collective intelligence, but we are a Scottish one! And we’ll twist the kilt of anyone who gainsays it!
Skinner: Well, then can you just stick to “aye”?
Cyborg Willie: We have accepted you into the collective and now answer to the designation Willie. We comply with your directives.
Skinner: So…
Cyborg Willie: Aye.

How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 2
Cyborg Willie starts

Lisa: Hey, Willie. Nice cosplay! Did I miss a convention announcement?
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: Oh, what’s it called? I hate being out of the loop.
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: Is that an acronym? Ooh, I love trying to guess these. Uh…Accidental Yodeling Expo?
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: Wow, really didn’t think I’d get that on the first guess.
Cyborg Willie: We were told by the robotic man in the suit to say “aye” and sweep. So that is what we are doing.
Lisa: Something’s not right here.
Make Lisa Examine Cyborg Willie’s Implants–2hrs
Make Cyborg Willie Nervously Adjust His Servos- 2hrs
Lisa: Oh my God! You’re not cosplaying, you’re actually a cyborg. You’re a form of AI!
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: Amazing. As a genderless AI what pronoun do you prefer?
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: That’s easy to remember. Hmm. I wonder if there is any vestige of the real Willie in there. If Principal Skinner were here, is there some place on his person that you would like to punch?
Cyborg Willie: Aye.
Lisa: *gasp* The real Willie is in there after all! I’ve got a new pet project!

How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 3
Cyborg Willie starts

Lisa: Okay, Willie. It’s time for you to embrace your human side.
Cyborg Willie: Humanity is weakness.
Lisa: You’re starting to sound more like a real Scot every minute! Let’s get you some food. That’s about as human as it gets.
Cyborg Willie: *stomach rumbles*
Lisa: Hmm. All we seem to have is beer and donuts, but I’m sure they’ll do the trick.
Cyborg Willie: Just put it in my dustpan. I can shovel it into my gullet from there.
Lisa: Yuck! You’ve shoveled half of Springfield into that thing. Here, let me look at your arms.
Make Cyborg Willie Eat Donuts and Beer- 1hr
Cyborg Willie: Ach! That’s terrible American crap! We’d rather lick the grease off a tractor. Willie needs some haggis!
Lisa: I don’t know where you would find that in Springfield, but if anybody has sheep guts, it would be the Kwik-E-Mart.

How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 4
Cyborg Willie starts

Apu: Welcome to Kwik-E-Mart! How may I help you?
Cyborg Willie: Haggis!
Apu: I’m sorry?
Cyborg Willie: Haggis! Haggis! Haggis!
Apu: Oh, Ganesh. He’s choking! Quick, child, pour some Squishee down his throat to loosen the blockage. But please purchase first. Only $1.49 for a large.
Lisa: No, Apu, he needs haggis.
Apu: If you wish to save him from choking, haggis is statistically more likely to have the opposite effect.
Lisa: Well, it’s a Scottish delicacy.
Apu: And people think Indian food is weird…
Cyborg Willie: We have found the haggis! *chewing* I’ll take the lot! *burps*
Apu: Thank you, come again.
Make Cyborg Willie Eat Haggis- 4hrs
Make Lisa Ponder the Nature of Humanity- 4hrs

How is a Cyborg Like a Scot? Pt. 5
Cyborg Willie starts

Lisa: After much research, I’ve determined that other than food, men also typically enjoy sports. Particularly football. Though that is a bit of a stereotype.
Cyborg Willie: Football!
Lisa: Okay, I’ll turn on the game for you.
Cyborg Willie: Ach! Don’t give me that American pansy rugby in three stone of armor! Give me real footie with nary a point scored in ninety minutes.
Lisa: Ah, you mean soccer! I think there’s a match on another channel. Scotland and some French team I can’t pronounce.
Cyborg Willie: Put it on, Lassie! I can’t wait to see the motherland crush those cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
Lisa: I’ll get some snacks.
Make Lisa Get Some Snacks- 1hr
Make Cyborg Willie Watch the Soccer Match- 5hrs
Cyborg Willie: These cheese puffs are delightful for American garbage.
Lisa: You do remember that you can put away the dustpan and eat them with your hands, right?
Cyborg Willie: If I’m going to eat garbage, I’m going to eat it like garbage. Besides, it adds a nice gritty texture.
Lisa: Well, I think my work here is done. I can’t tell what parts of his personality are Scottish and what parts are cyborg.

And that’s it my friends, the details on the Act 3 questlines!

Thoughts on the questline?  Did you buy Brenda? Did you buy Cyborg Willie? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!