Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Well know St. Patrick’s Day is over…although the water’s of Springfield are still green (where the heck is that update already?!) BUT back during the event we got a special request from one of our readers JJ Leigh on the Turbo Tappin’ walkthrough:
“Will there be a walkthrough with dialogue? I accidentally tapped too fast and missed some 🙁 The dialogue is my favorite part….but every now and then I miss some and the OCD player in me gets very disappointed.”
Now normally we don’t post event dialogue…but since JJ requested it how can we NOT do it? So…in case you missed any of the hilarious (at least in my opinion) dialogue from St. Patrick’s Day here’s your chance to catch it again!
And JJ I know I told you this would be up last week…sorry for the delay! Better late than never right? 🙂
Training Day Pt. 1
Homer: March is here! And you know what that means: time to make my New Years Resolution!
Lisa: Didn’t you make a resolution in January?
Homer: I did. It was to stop postponing making New Years Resolutions. It isn’t going well.
Lisa: So what’s your resolution? Hit the gym? Read more? Improve your lexicon?
Homer: Lisa, what have I told you about making up words. Gym? Ridiculous. My resolution is to prepare for St. Patrick’s Day down at O’Flanagan’s Pub so I don’t end up face down in the gutter by accident. This year, I’ll end up there by choice!
Tom O’Flanagan: And I won’t be taking any excuses like I did last year! So leave your hangovers and heart attacks at home!
Build O’Flanagan’s Pub- Costs $1,900, and a 24hr build (unless of course you already have it)
Send Springfielders to Train for a St. Patrick’s Day Beer Bash– 12hrs x10 Springfielders (earns $420, 100xp, premium characters earn $600, 150xp) Here’s a list of who can go:
Homer, Apu, Frink, Hank Scorpio, Barney, Duffman, Otto, Sideshow Mel, Luigi, Smithers, Dr. Nick, Hans Moleman, Kearney, Miss. Springfield, Tatum, Lugash, Jasper, Skinner, Willie, Mr. Burns, Comic Book Guy, Rev. Lovejoy, Moe, Marge, Wiggum, Sea Captain, Snake, Grampa, Quimby, Mrs. Krabappel, Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Lenny, Fat Tony, Legs, Louie, Agnes, Abe Lincoln, Herman, Wolfcastle, Tom O’Flanagan, Lou, Eddie, Chalmers, Arnie Pye, Rich Texan, Bumblebee Man, Flanders, Krusty, Kang, Selma, Patty, Disco Stu, Booberella, Kodos, Cletus, Suzanne the Witch, Kirk, Luann, Tribal Chief, Mr. Costington, The Grumple, The Yes Guy, Kumiko, Brandine (if she’s not pregnant of course) and Mindy.
Training Day Pt. 2
Tom O’Flanagan starts
Tom O’Flanagan: To borrow a phrase from James Joyce and Spring Break Cancun – DRINK, DRINK, DRINK!
Homer: I’m starting to think this is a bad idea….
Tom O’Flanagan: Second thoughts are for the sober! Drink those doubts away!
Homer: Booze, you’ve helped me make – and forget – so many bad decisions. How ’bout one more for old times’ sake?
Make Homer Drink his Doubts Away– 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Homer: Whoo Hoo! It worked! I no longer regret this reckless romp of drinking! Or this Gangnam Sytle tattoo – guaranteed to stay topical and hilarious forever!
Training Day Pt. 3
Tom O’Flanagan starts
Tom O’Flanagan: Homer, congratulations!
Homer: Am I finally ready to participate in all the St. Patrick’s Day festivities?
Tom O’Flanagan: No, you’ve graudated from a Wee Little Laddy to a Bar Wench in the O’Flanagan’s School of Drinking and Tae Kwon Do.
Homer: What’s the top level?
Tom O’Flanagan: Black belt! Sorry, I mean Leprechaun Lush! But no non-Irishman has ever achieved that level.
Homer: Then I shall be the first! And it will be the greatest achievement of my life!
Lisa: What about your three beautiful children and your loving wife?
Make Homer Reach Level Leprechaun Lush– 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Training Day Pt. 4
Homer: Homer, you’ve failed at so many things: real estate exams, successfully making lists of three…you must not fail at this. But this hard, glass-strewn concrete floor looks so inviting. Maybe I’ll just take a little nap.
Make Homer Pass Out- 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Training Day Pt. 5
Homer: Hello, is anyone there?
Homer’s Liver: Hoooommmeeeer, it’s me. The Ghost of Liver Past.
Homer: The Ghost of Liver Past? Never heard of you.
Homer’s Liver: That’s because those Christmas ghosts used up all of our public relations budget! It’s all about social media these days. I mean…boooooooo!
I’m here to show you how things used to be when you drank responsibly, by magically transporting you through time and space.
Homer: Do I have to walk?
Homer’s Liver: No. You do have to stand while I possess you though.
Homer: Uhhh…fine. But I’m bringing a brew.
Make Homer See his Drinking Past– 1hr, Earns $70, 17xp
Homer’s Liver: Look upon your first St. Patrick’s Day beer purchase at the Kwik-E-Mart.
Homer: Who’s that fat balding guy? And when do I get my raffle ticket?
Homer’s Liver: I really don’t think you’re getting what’s going on here. That’s you. From the past. You follow?
Homer: If I say yes, will I get my raffle ticket?
Training Day Pt. 6
Homer: Where am I? The last thing I remember was a liver ghost slapping me in the face.
Moe: You know what I always say, Homer — when a liver ghost slaps you, you slap back.
Homer’s Liver: HOMER! I’m the Ghost of Liver Future! I’m here to show you what you will become if you continue drinking.
Homer: So more being possessed? Jeez, is this St. Patrick’s or Halloween?
Make Homer See What his Drinking Life Might Become- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Homer: That was awful! The dank, dark bars. The sticky floors. The broken dreams…brand condom machines. I don’t want that to be my life! Please tell me how I can change my ways!
Homer’s Liver: I can’t… because I’m actually the Ghost of Liver Present! bet you didn’t see that coming!
Homer: So this is what my life is like now? And you’re what my live looks like now?
Homer’s Liver: I know — sad, right? There’s no Ghost of Liver Future because your liver doesn’t have a future. And because people got too used to the three ghost system, so we had to change it up. We’re beta testing it now. Actually, if you’d be willing to fill out a short questionnaire….
Oh, you’re crying. Well I’ll just put down satisfied and see myself out.
Training Day Pt. 7
Homer: What have I been doing? Training for St. Patrick’s Day when I could have been stopping to smell the roses. Assuming people played the Valentine’s Day update. I was so focused on drinking, I forgot about the most important thing in my life — my, I don’t know, family probably.
Make Homer Reflect on his Life– 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Dye The Town Green Pt. 1
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. O’Flanagan. I’m here to perform a task totally appropriate for an 8 year old girl – pick up my father at a bar.
Tom O’Flanagan: It’s sad to think that anyone in here is actually a father… but take your pick!
Lisa: Hey, what are you doing to that beer?
Tom O’Flanagan: I’m about to dye it green for St. Paddy’s Day.
Lisa: With that food-coloring! You should use a more eco-friendly dye. It would be a green way to go green…. that was a joke.
Tom O’Flanagan: If you say so.
Make Tom O’Flanagan Dye Beer Green- 1hr, Earns $70, 17xp
Dye The Town Green Pt. 2
Lisa: Tom, I wanted to take a picture of all your eco-friendly green dye-usage for my blog. Perhaps this exciting development will push my readership into the single digits! Now why don’t you move all this red stuff and show me the green.
Tom O’Flanagan: Oh My Blarney Stones! I’ve done it again! I must confess my deepest secret – I’m red/green color-blind. This is worse than when I accidentally joined the sinister Communist Party thinking it was the benevolent IRA!
Lisa: Color-blindness is not that big of a deal.
Tom O’Flanagan: It is if you’re Irish! I once pinched Kermit the Frog on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m a MONSTER!
Lisa: Luckily you’re the only Irishman in this game, so you’re safe.
Tom O’Flanagan: Leprechaun spies are everywhere! Whether you sprung for the premium character or not. Oh Little Lisa, would you be willing to help one more fully grown man with his problems?
Make Tom O’Flanagan and Lisa Actually Dye Beer Green– 45 seconds, Earns $3, 1xp
Tom O’Flanagan: It’s working!
Lisa: No…it’s not.
Tom O’Flanagan: Oh. I have no way of knowing because of my color-blindness of course.
Dye The Town Green Pt. 3
Lisa: This eco-friendly green dye just isn’t strong enough to counteract the red.
Tom O’Flanagan: I’m a sorry excuse for an Irishman. I don’t even use Irish Spring. I use Lever 2000! Come St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to have an angry mob kicking down my door wanting their beer to be an unnatural shade of green, not an all-natural shade of red. And if they don’t get it, then they’ll want blood. My emerald green blood.
Tom O’Flanagan: Not that too!
Lisa: I can fix this! This is why I played with chemistry sets while all the other kids were off playing tag and red light/green light.
Tom O’Flanagan: You mean green light/green light?…. Oh no.
Make Lisa Fix the Green Dye– 24hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
Dye The Town Green Pt. 4
Lisa: It still isn’t working!
Tom O’Flanagan: I haven’t been this sad since they canceled the shirt-lived Michael Flatley sitcom – Landlord of the Dance.
Lisa: Maybe the Kwik-E-Mart has stronger dye that isn’t too horrible for the environment?
MakeLisa Shop at the Kwik-E-Mart- 1hr, Earns $70, 17xp
Apu: I’m sorry, Lisa. I’m afraid I ahve used all my green dye to make a Shamrock Squishee.
Lisa: And green hotdogs?
Apu: Yes, of course…those hotdogs are DYED green….
Dye The Town Green Pt. 5
Tom O’Flanagan starts
Tom O’Flanagan: I’m ruined! Is it too late to rebrand myself in time for Chinese New Year?
Lisa: If only you could take credit for our green river, but everyone knows that’s just because of the toxic nuclear runoff.
Tom O’Flanagan: Toxic nuclear runoff? That sounds way more powerful than eco-friendly green dye.
Lisa: But all my morals! My self-righteous indignation! I couldn’t!
Tom O’Flanagan: But if I lose my bar, the Irish will turn my story into a limerick for sure. And they’ve gotten so uncomfortably dirty.
Lisa: Let down a kindly old man or hurt the environment? These types of moral questions are only fun in the abstract! We can use nuclear runoff to dye the beer green, but only if you put some recycling bins around your bar.
Tom O’Flanagan: That’s the spirit! Now you’re talking like a useless environmental regulation committee!
Reach Level 9 and Place a Dumpster- x3
Make Lisa Relinquish her Moral High Ground– 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Make Tom O’Flanagan Use Nuclear Waste to Dye Beer Green– 12hrs, Earns $420, 100xp
Dye the Town Green Pt. 6
Tom O’Flanagan starts
Tom O’Flanagan: It’s finally green!…. right?
Lisa: Yes, this time you’re right. It’s actually green.
Tom O’Flanagan: In the wise words of your father and my employer: WOO HOO! And just in time to open for our first customer: your father and my employer.
Make Homer Endure Moderation- 16 hrs, Earns $500, 125xp
Make Springfielders Enjoy a St. Patrick’s Beer Bash– 16hrs, x15 people. Earns $500, 125xp non-premium characters & $750, 200xp premium characters.
Here’s a list of the characters that can go:
Apu, Frink, Hank Scorpio, Barney, Duffman, Otto, Sideshow Mel, Luigi, Smithers, Dr. Nick, Hans Moleman, Kearney, Miss. Springfield, Tatum, Lugash, Jasper, Skinner, Willie, Mr. Burns, Comic Book Guy, Rev. Lovejoy, Moe, Marge, Wiggum, Sea Captain, Snake, Grampa, Quimby, Mrs. Krabappel, Brockman, Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Lenny, Fat Tony, Legs, Louie, Agnes, Abe Lincoln, Herman, Wolfcastle, Tom O’Flanagan, Lou, Eddie, Chalmers, Arnie Pye, Rich Texan, Bumblebee Man, Flanders, Krusty, Kang, Selma, Patty, Disco Stu, Booberella, Kodos, Cletus, Suzanne the Witch, Kirk, Luann, Tribal Chief, Mr. Costington, The Grumple, The Yes Guy, Kumiko, Brandine (if she’s not pregnant of course) and Mindy.
And thus ends the St. Patrick’s Day 2014 Event Full Dialogue!
What did YOU think of the dialogue? Did you miss any part of it when you were tapping? Did you find it as funny as I did? Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!