Diary of a Wookiee: Getting Medieval on Springfield

Oi Oi Oi!  How are all my favorite vikings, mages, elf lords, goblins, orcs and hobbits doing?  Anyone geeking out with me right now?

So unless you’ve been living in a bunker for fear of the unknown, you know that a Clash of Clans (CoC) Parody is upon us in TSTO.  While I’ve read mixed reviews about this new event, I give EA an A+ for doing something no one was expecting. As far as requests from tappers go, I don’t think I ever saw someone say they should bring elements of a strategy game to TSTO.  Admittedly I don’t hang around too much on other forums (who has the time?) but I’d remember seeing that because my first response would have been “Oh dear Jebus, please no!”

So many strategy games.  As an admitted player of Star Wars Angry Birds, I see the ads for them all the time while I wait for my carbonite award to melt.  Clash of Clans, Empire: Four Kingdoms, Samurai Seige, Dungeon Overlord, League of Shadows, Battle Beach, Total Conquest, Kingdom Clash, Pocket Fort, Kingdom Rush Frontiers, Apoc Wars, Castle Clash…. that’s a lot of games and I’ve never downloaded one.

There are so many mobile games that take the “I have a city and I want to basically design it only to have it destroyed by someone else so I’m gonna attack you too… better train some soldiers” and build a game around it.  Much different than the city builder style we have in TSTO.  When I first hear about CoC… I immediately reminisced about younger years where I enjoyed the first Age of Empires.  I played that a lot during my first deployment to the Middle East (fun fact: I was there during 9/11) but was never good at it.  Even the computer on easy usually whomped on me lol.

I have some good friends who play CoC and always ask why I’m not part of their clan and of course my reply is always why aren’t we neighbors in TSTO.  To each their own.  I was never the D&D or LARPing kind of geek but I have to admit to some cosplay desires (believe it or not, not all of them include Slave Girl Leia as my partner).  I also spent quite a few teenage years playing the Star Wars RPG.  Anyone else play that?  I had a wookiee gladiator turned smuggler turned Tatooine crime boss that was pretty dope.

Moving on before this post becomes a recollection of my past lol.  We all know The Simpsons is one of those shows that enjoys lampooning anything and anyone and I find it hilarious that they’ve added CoC to the mix.  TSTO is certainly not a popular war strategy game but now we get a glimpse into what it would be like if it was.

Now, getting to the the point of this diary entry.  With my new castle and only one new strip of land, I wondered how the heck I was going to get in the spirit of this event.  Seemed dumb to just lump castles haphazardly at the bottom of Wookieetown.  Did I really care about this event anyways?  I could always finally get around to redesigning my Springfield but was I really willing to nuke my masterpiece?

Just this image should give you your answer.  While COC isn’t my bag, so far I’m really enjoying the Simpsons parody version of it.  It’s different, it’s semi-unique and once I got the swing of the mechanics, very fun.  Add to that my desire to get into the event because I at least owe it to the readers of this site, I’m in.  Unfortuantely for my town which took a year or so to become what it was, I’m a whole hog kind of wookiee.  Go big or go home, right?

The biggest obstacle I have had to a redesign of Wookieetown has been the complete image of my town for posterity.  Courtesy of some shenanigans and a semi-broken foot, I found myself stuck with my foot propped up and some time on my hands so I finally got around to doing it.  There’s a good stitching post Bunny and I did if you’re interested in doing one of these yourself.  For this one, I literally took 104 screenshots and then fit them by eye in Microsoft Paint.

At this point, I was all ready to drop the bomb but had second thoughts.  I’m more of the drop food not bombs veteran but it was the only way.  I guess this whole event is about going to war and although nuclear weapons should never be used for the sake of humanity, it’s just a digital town, right?  Still not sure, I decided I’d just procrastinate and enjoy some Simpsons.  Who’d have thunk my answer would be right there in Season 8, Episode 7: “Lisa’s Date with Density”?

Well big guy in the sky with a sense of humor, I sure do dislike that uber expensive TSTO whale.  If the rest of my town has to feel the wrath to satisfy a cartoon poster and months worth of buyer’s remorse, so be it.   Nelson would be proud.

Wookiee to launch control… we are a go… (check out this post for more details on nuking your town til it glows)

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Utter desolation.  The remains of my wookiee 2D said it all.

So long blue eyes… until I make you again.  The only items not in storage were my Simpson House, Squidport Entrance, Krustyland Bus Stop, Barbarian Castle and debris.  It took a while moving things around but I decided I wanted the center of my town to be dedicated to the Clash of Clones Event.  Everything a visiting invader could want would be right there.  I lined the outskirts of my land with every item that brought a character into my game for extra tappery.

To keep with the “medieval” theme, I mainly used items I felt fit it.  Dead trees, pumpkin patches, statues, trees, etc.  I really wish I had a cobblestone road or dirt path option but you make do with what you got.  I think the end result is a success.  To stich this one, I took 24 screenshots and my Autostitch program actually did all the work for me.  Exciting since it usually doesn’t like more than eight images.  Good thing I’ll try anything twice lol.

As I get more castles and stuff, I’ll certainly tweak this design and make it more pleasing to at least my eyes.  This is the basic footprint to expand upon.  I have a few ideas for more.  Maybe steal someone else’s idea and hide ice sculptures in thicker woods? I’m sure my neighboreenos will see this new landing screen and be all “wah wha wah?” but it’ll be ok.  I’ll be back to designing just as soon as the war is over.  Hopefully Plato and George Santayana weren’t right about when it ends.

Well, those are my pain med addled thoughts about the event and what it led me to do.  I understand nuking is not for everyone and some might think it’s callous to destroy hard work but I’m actually looking forward to the fun during this event and then a future redesign.  If it turns out to be a bad decision, I have photos to rebuild my town and at least it led to some silly thoughts from me.

Have you done anything drastic for the event?  Got your own medieval area of your town you’d like to share?  Love the war or hate it?  Know any good foot doctors?  Sound off below if you like.  I’m gonna go prop my foot up and watch some more of the marathon on FXX.  Thank goodness all my stuff didn’t disappear and noone was hurt in the process.

TTFN… Wookiee out!