From the Mouths of Addicts: Chinese New Year, YEAR OF THE MONKEY

The following post was submitted by one of our Addicts Regulars..Totbox.  Perhaps you’ve seen Tot in the comments a time or two ;)…

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Hello to all the kwyjibos out there.

I must confess, I know very little about the Chinese cultural traditions regarding the zodiac signs and the up coming Chinese New Year (which starts February 8th and ends January 27th 2017) but I do know I was born when it was the year of the monkey before and thus I’m strangely excited about it’s return.

Unlike George Taylor, I like every Ape I see; from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee.  Out of all the Animals in the Kingdom I find Monkeys to be the most relatable (maybe even literally)  :p  I like them as a multitude, perhaps in a single barrel. I even like them as a single one throwing barrels.

Before you try to explain to me that Apes and Gorillas aren’t technically Monkeys. I guess I should have pre-warned you that I don’t really care, I’m not a zoologist. I’m writing this for your enjoyment, relax, enjoy and stop interrupting me :p

Now if you want to hear more jokes and observations regarding all this monkey business  click “continue reading”. But first, a joke.

Do you know how to open a monastery door?

With a Monk-Key. :p

I wanted to write this post because it’s the only way to get this monkey off my back; Ever since Lee pointed out to me about the “Stop the Planet Of the Apes, I want to get off” scenery in the Springfield dump.

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Which got me thinking Hey, Hey, How’bout a Monkee Event (I mean Monkey event)! Grab your lunch boxes and pull out your banana and lets get Ape $#%+ CRAZY!! But before I get into the ideas for such event, I have some more monkey shines and jokes to share. 🙂

When I started thinking about the possibilities  of an event and learned that the year of the monkey was just around the corner, I took it as a sign, like it was written in the stars. I started to obsess and I wanted to immerse myself in all things Monkey. I watched various cartoons and movies and I had two observations from this; animated monkeys are far more entertaining than live action movie monkeys AND most animated monkeys are voiced by Frank Welker.

Yes, Frank Welker whose most famous character is not a monkey but a talking dog and a young man wearing an ascot from that same show. 🙂 He is noted to voicing Santa’s Little Helper and it’s puppies, and monkeys and baboons from The Simpsons along with other characters, and you may also know him as Futurama’s Nibbler. You may be thinking I’m getting off topic, and I’m going to get back. Frank Welker voiced  Aladdin’s Abu, Curious George, Dexter’s Lab Monkey, the cymbal clanging Monkey from Toy Story 3! (Lol, put that in there for Alissa, he also did various other characters in the Toy Story series), and “a whole lotta monkeys” from The Power Power Puff Girls Movie (but not Mojo Jojo). Anyway, it just didn’t seem right making a post about monkey’s without mentioning him. Look him up if you want to see more. Seeing his résumé of work made me realize he has been in my childhood probably longer than anyone. For the record, he is still alive… I guess I went a little Banana’s about this..

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Yes, Monkeys and the Simpsons went all the way back to the Tracy Ullman Show. And dozens of The Simpson’s episodes.

Most importantly in “A Fish Called Selma” Troy McClure starred in ‘Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off’ which I’m Pleading with EA to make an event around.  Give us Troy McClure, set pieces, a break dancing Dr. Zaius. So what else can they throw at us? How about Lionel Hutz handing out smoking monkeys (from “Marge in Chains”)? or a Meet Donkey Kong in person stand with Raphael (from “Marge Be Not Proud”)? Grandpa as a Gorilla (skin) (from THOH XVI ‘I’ve Grown a Costume on Your Face’)? Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center (from “HMOR”)? Simpson Family monkey skins (from an old couch gag)? Furious George (which I sadly just realized is named like Curious George)(seen in “The Mansion Family”)?

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As indicated in the second picture in this post, we already had Primate characters and items in the game that they can bring back (if they ever went away) Click on the sites to see where some of them came from 🙂

Now that EA knows what I want for our favorite Ape (I mean App), they  can stop reading and get to work on it now. NOW!! Please 😀

For us other folks, here are some other monkey moments from The Simpsons in visual form..

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So you can see I took an unhealthy amount of time on this. I wanted to I embrace my inner monkey; so I tried the monkey yoga pose, which isn’t very monkey like (monkeys don’t do splits… maybe BananaSplits.  Fa La La, La-la-la-la, Fa La La, La-la La-la). I danced the monkey and sang the Animaniacs’ Monkey Song, I ate bananas, jumped on a bed and bumped my head, climbed a tree, flung feces, covered my mouth, eyes and ears (after I washed my hands).

I respect these magnificent creatures. I  guess you can call it Monkey Love (which is a little like Puppy Love with less tongue)

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Ooo-Ooo ah-ah!

Now that you monkey-saw this post do you wanna monkey-do a post of your own? What monkey memories do you have? Are you excited for Chinese New Year?  Have any monkey jokes that weren’t in the post? What’s your Chinese zodiac sign? Anyone want to count the amount of times the word ‘monkey(s)’ appeared in the post? Do you even own a monkey wrench? Leave a comment… you know we love hearing from you simians 😛

Thanks again to Totbox for this monkey-ing around post! 

54 responses to “From the Mouths of Addicts: Chinese New Year, YEAR OF THE MONKEY

  1. Oh yes EA! Please! Add more monkeys! Maybe not as an even but more as a mini event.

  2. Great post Totbox

    I still say, the stuff in the dump is NOT random, nothing in the game is random
    it’s there as a clue to what is coming

    What else is in the dump? and what will it mean for our games?
    🐒 🐵 🙈 🙉 🙊 💩 🏈 🙂

    • Lee,
      I specifically took a screen shot of your Dump for the second set of pics for this post (yep, that it’s yours). Like the ice-bucket challenge, I challenge you to write a conspiracy theroy post about the dump. Maybe call it “More Events EA might DUMP on us” .
      You don’t have to accept this challenge but a bit of work has already been done based on Wookie’s post (which you can link) and sure why not link this post regarding the P.O.T.A. Musical set peices if you want.
      And as a bonus if you choose to accept the challenge I might help you as well (more detail on that, if interested).

      Just like this post it could be regarding just one item instead of the whole dump… Think about it.

      • Just checking diary to see when I’ll have time for that, …….oh, yes, September 2037

        Sorry just don’t have time, was hoping to visit neighbours for the first time since Saturday but that could be doubtful 🙂

  3. Well since it is now the 9th and getting a little late, I suspect we might not get this as the next event.

    Today being Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) I suspect no event about that either. Tommorow being Ash Wednesday… Maybe, maybe something?

  4. Always a pleasure to read your articles, the only thing i have in common with monkeys is a hairy bum (except Baboons)
    I always love that Troy Mclure scene in Planet of the Apes the musical

  5. Earn event currency by attacking your neighbors in true monkey fashion: fling “stuff” when they aren’t looking. Both befouling buildings and cleaning them in your own town would earn currency; to restore goodwill, you could also leave your neighbors gifts of bananas (like leaving nightmare spawn during Halloween or presents during Xmas).

    Lowbrow humor, true, but my adolescent son would love it. Not me, though – as a mature adult who would never find scatological humor amusing, I would DEFINITELY NOT giggle as I bio-bombed my neighbors. Promise.

  6. Nice post Tot! I think it would have been amazing if EA had done a Chinese New Years event and tied it into Space.

    As we all know, all the chimpanzees sent into space came back super Intelligent.

  7. My boss made a comment tonite about a couple of my co-workers. He said watching them work was like watching a monkey seduce a football!! LOL

  8. Loved your spunky monkey post, Totbox!! It sparked a lot of comments too. Happy New Year!!! 😀

  9. kingofstillwater

    That sounds like a terrible idea for an event!

  10. Gloriously thorough research, Tot!

    You’re right, there absolutely ought to be a STPOTA,IWTGO event. Breakdancing chimps in suits? Yes, please! Don’t we ALL love legitimate theatre?

    That episode is actually a family favorite–I recently had to break it to my kids that there is no real-life musical that it’s based on. It truly crushed their trusting little hearts…

  11. Kim (kimberlyah794)

    Fantastic post, Tot! You put a lot of work into it for sure and I loved the puns! 🙂

    • Thank you. I must admit that if it wasn’t from your “from the mouths of addicts” posts this idea of doing one myself wouldn’t have crossed my mind. After your last one I almost said “stop it, you’re making us other addicts look bad” but now with two under my belt I can tell the other addicts that they are slacking :p

      monkey see – monkey do, I guess 😛

      • Kim (kimberlyah794)

        LOL!!!! You are so kind! I was honestly just trying to help out a little. In the end, I sort of wondered if I hadn’t somehow created extra work for Alissa. But I’ve got some other ideas for posts rolling around with the rocks in my head. 😉

  12. Can someone PLEEZ help…in my family we have 4 separate TSTO accts…2 phones 2 tablets. My daughters has been crashing since Saturday morning…her tablet. The little donut spins and spins and then it kicks her off to her main home screen (the one with all her icons). I have done it ALL…cleared cache, force stop, uninstall/reinstall…and its only her acct. I tried logging her in on my phone and then MY phone closes out after the spinning donut screen. I can log in with MY INFO…no problem. Is this gonna require the dreaded EA contact or is something going on on some servers??? We thought maybe it would work itself out with today being a work day and all. No such luck. She is really bummed. I am really annoyed. She recently enterred a gift card for 300 donuts and everything. Anyone have any thoughts? I know this is the wrong place to post…sorry…you all r very helpful!!!😊

    • It’s probably something specific with her game on EA’s server. Contact EA and let them know, they may have to do a rollback (like a day or 2) to help it…

  13. I started typing this with a list of all the Chinese zodiac signs animals I currently have in the game, but then I realized a LOT would be missing due to my fully freemium status, so instead I’ll list every Chinese zodiac signs’ animals that have somehow made an appearance in the TSTO world , just for fun. I’ll warn in advance that probably many will be missing. Let’s go alphabetically:

    1. DOG:
    – Santa’s Little Helper;
    – Springfield Downs;
    – Homer Dog;
    – Frink’s Robot Dog;
    – Snarling Zombie;
    – K9 Officer;
    – The Fireworks, Candy, and Puppy Dog Store;
    – Reverend Lovejoy’s 60-minute task “Walk the dog”;
    – Mr. Burns’ 12-hour task “Walk the hounds”;
    – Poochie Mascot.

    2. DRAGON:
    – Aside from Greta Wolfcastle’s questline “The Girl Who Gets a Dragon Tattoo”, I couldn’t find any dragons in TSTO.

    3. GOAT:
    – Springfield City Dump;

    4. HORSE:
    – Furious D;
    – Springfield Downs;
    – Old Gray Mare;
    – Two-nicorn?

    5. MONKEY:
    – Mr. Teeny;
    – Mojo Helper Monkey;
    – Inflatable Gorilla and Baboons;
    – King Homer’s Skyscraper;
    – Monty Moneybags;
    – Sir Putt-A-Lot’s.

    6. OX: I didn’t really understand what an ox is, so I’ll use it as a synonym for bull or cow:
    – Golden Calf Idol;
    – Apu and his family don’t eat beef 😛 .

    7. PIG:
    – Spider Pig;
    – BBQ Pig;
    – Pokey?

    8. RABBIT:
    – Mutant Rabbit;
    – Bunny #24601;
    – Rabbit Hedge;
    – Hugs Bunny;
    – Bunny ears and purple little bunnies from Halloween 2015;
    – Easter float;
    – Crazy Cat Lady’s temporary 24-hour task “Throw bunnies”.

    9. RAT: FYI, I don’t know the difference between rat and mouse:
    – Hugo Simpson’s 12-hour task “Walk the pigeon rat”;
    – Moe’s Taver when it’s animated;
    – Springfield Pet Shop when it’s animated;
    – Rat Trap Delivery Trucks;
    – Springfield City Dump;
    – Itchy;
    – Brandine’s tasks at the Springfield Dump or metal depot;

    10. ROOSTER:
    – Chicken coop (sorry, it’s the closest to a rooster I could think of, unless turkeys and falcons count).

    11. SNAKE:
    – Snake Jailbird 😛 ;
    – Whacking Day decorations (too many to list);
    – Pet Snake;
    – Lumpy;
    – Little snakes from Halloween 2015.

    12. TIGER:
    – Drederick Tatum’s 4-hour task “Walk the tiger”;
    – Billionaire haven.

    Phew! That took longer than I imagined. Happy tapping!

    • 4kidsandacatdog

      Isn’t Springfield Downs a dog track?

    • I love the effort you put into that list, you got a smile out of me 🙂

      I don’t remember if Mrs. Muntz was premium (don’t think so) but when she does her outdoor dancing (some rodent appears).

      Tell you what, you can right Chinese New Years Post for next year :p

      • You have gotten smiles and laughs out of me many times. I wish I had half the creativity you do.

        Mrs. Muntz is freemium. Now that you mentioned her, I think I remember seeing a rat on her house’s roof when it’s animated.

        And noooo, I wouldn’t write anything in English… But thank you, Totbox. 😉

      • Yes a rodent came out of her robe, running away from a ***** that it encountered probably.

    • Hmm your zodiac animals are listed in alphabetical order. According to years it will be monkey, chicken, dog, pig, rat, cow, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep.

      Happy and prosperity to all. Today is second day of lunar new year.

  14. I wish i had a monkey’s paw…🙊


  16. So are ya done monkeying around? 😀 Have to admit you have me wondering the true plural form of monkey, I always thought it was Monki, but could be Monkeys or even Monkies. Although if it was Monki, that would have made the band “The Monkeys” wrong this whole time 😀

  17. Happy new year!!!

    Here in Finland we dont celebrate chinese new year, only at home we cook food etc. And of course we get red envelopes filled with money :D. Ive never been to asia during New Years, only heard that its really awesome. Maybe next year me and my family will have a chance to visit our homeland during new years. :))

    • That’s nice! My grandfather used to give me and my sister envelopes (of any color, not necessarily red) every New Year. It’s a Japanese tradition called Otoshidama. Good to hear about other cultures. 🙂

  18. Despite the sweltering heat, don’t roll down your windows, because those monkeys seem confused and irritable!

  19. Tracy - 1ltwoody920

    Won’t you be my Valentine? I go ape over you!

    (Somebody had to write it)

  20. Hey totbox loved your post and love your town and would love the idea of a monkey event. Now in honor the of your post and Chinese Year of the monkey: How does a monkey get down the steps? They slide on the banana-ster!

  21. Tot! I really loved this post! it was a barrel full of laughs 😀🙊

    Happy New Year, you crazy monkey babies.

  22. Lots of red envelopes today! 🙂
    All monkeying aside ;)..
    Ok, so daily challenge of playin balloon pop at Krustyland twice did not count after playing… well twice. So I used my dismiss task chance after restarting, cache clearing and so on in efforts of activating the count. My reward was 1 donut but with the new assignment it’s 5 lates after making 10.. :/ not as exciting as the beloved fried sugar currency. Anyone else having issues with daily tasks?

  23. All Hail Frank Welker!!!!!!

  24. Hey, Hey, we’re the monkees……

  25. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times???!!

  26. Giggles ☆

    Totbox and all other monkeys. ..remember to wear something red for good luck!

  27. Happy New Uear to all the Monkeys out there! I am a dragon!

  28. Will there be a valentines update ?

  29. These were monkeying around a long time ago 😅

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