From the Mouths of Addicts: Chinese New Year, YEAR OF THE MONKEY

The following post was submitted by one of our Addicts Regulars..Totbox.  Perhaps you’ve seen Tot in the comments a time or two ;)…

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Hello to all the kwyjibos out there.

I must confess, I know very little about the Chinese cultural traditions regarding the zodiac signs and the up coming Chinese New Year (which starts February 8th and ends January 27th 2017) but I do know I was born when it was the year of the monkey before and thus I’m strangely excited about it’s return.

Unlike George Taylor, I like every Ape I see; from Chimpan-A to Chimpanzee.  Out of all the Animals in the Kingdom I find Monkeys to be the most relatable (maybe even literally)  :p  I like them as a multitude, perhaps in a single barrel. I even like them as a single one throwing barrels.

Before you try to explain to me that Apes and Gorillas aren’t technically Monkeys. I guess I should have pre-warned you that I don’t really care, I’m not a zoologist. I’m writing this for your enjoyment, relax, enjoy and stop interrupting me :p

Now if you want to hear more jokes and observations regarding all this monkey business  click “continue reading”. But first, a joke.

Do you know how to open a monastery door?

With a Monk-Key. :p

I wanted to write this post because it’s the only way to get this monkey off my back; Ever since Lee pointed out to me about the “Stop the Planet Of the Apes, I want to get off” scenery in the Springfield dump.

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Which got me thinking Hey, Hey, How’bout a Monkee Event (I mean Monkey event)! Grab your lunch boxes and pull out your banana and lets get Ape $#%+ CRAZY!! But before I get into the ideas for such event, I have some more monkey shines and jokes to share. 🙂

When I started thinking about the possibilities  of an event and learned that the year of the monkey was just around the corner, I took it as a sign, like it was written in the stars. I started to obsess and I wanted to immerse myself in all things Monkey. I watched various cartoons and movies and I had two observations from this; animated monkeys are far more entertaining than live action movie monkeys AND most animated monkeys are voiced by Frank Welker.

Yes, Frank Welker whose most famous character is not a monkey but a talking dog and a young man wearing an ascot from that same show. 🙂 He is noted to voicing Santa’s Little Helper and it’s puppies, and monkeys and baboons from The Simpsons along with other characters, and you may also know him as Futurama’s Nibbler. You may be thinking I’m getting off topic, and I’m going to get back. Frank Welker voiced  Aladdin’s Abu, Curious George, Dexter’s Lab Monkey, the cymbal clanging Monkey from Toy Story 3! (Lol, put that in there for Alissa, he also did various other characters in the Toy Story series), and “a whole lotta monkeys” from The Power Power Puff Girls Movie (but not Mojo Jojo). Anyway, it just didn’t seem right making a post about monkey’s without mentioning him. Look him up if you want to see more. Seeing his résumé of work made me realize he has been in my childhood probably longer than anyone. For the record, he is still alive… I guess I went a little Banana’s about this..

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Yes, Monkeys and the Simpsons went all the way back to the Tracy Ullman Show. And dozens of The Simpson’s episodes.

Most importantly in “A Fish Called Selma” Troy McClure starred in ‘Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off’ which I’m Pleading with EA to make an event around.  Give us Troy McClure, set pieces, a break dancing Dr. Zaius. So what else can they throw at us? How about Lionel Hutz handing out smoking monkeys (from “Marge in Chains”)? or a Meet Donkey Kong in person stand with Raphael (from “Marge Be Not Proud”)? Grandpa as a Gorilla (skin) (from THOH XVI ‘I’ve Grown a Costume on Your Face’)? Screaming Monkey Medical Research Center (from “HMOR”)? Simpson Family monkey skins (from an old couch gag)? Furious George (which I sadly just realized is named like Curious George)(seen in “The Mansion Family”)?

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As indicated in the second picture in this post, we already had Primate characters and items in the game that they can bring back (if they ever went away) Click on the sites to see where some of them came from 🙂

Now that EA knows what I want for our favorite Ape (I mean App), they  can stop reading and get to work on it now. NOW!! Please 😀

For us other folks, here are some other monkey moments from The Simpsons in visual form..

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So you can see I took an unhealthy amount of time on this. I wanted to I embrace my inner monkey; so I tried the monkey yoga pose, which isn’t very monkey like (monkeys don’t do splits… maybe BananaSplits.  Fa La La, La-la-la-la, Fa La La, La-la La-la). I danced the monkey and sang the Animaniacs’ Monkey Song, I ate bananas, jumped on a bed and bumped my head, climbed a tree, flung feces, covered my mouth, eyes and ears (after I washed my hands).

I respect these magnificent creatures. I  guess you can call it Monkey Love (which is a little like Puppy Love with less tongue)

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Ooo-Ooo ah-ah!

Now that you monkey-saw this post do you wanna monkey-do a post of your own? What monkey memories do you have? Are you excited for Chinese New Year?  Have any monkey jokes that weren’t in the post? What’s your Chinese zodiac sign? Anyone want to count the amount of times the word ‘monkey(s)’ appeared in the post? Do you even own a monkey wrench? Leave a comment… you know we love hearing from you simians 😛

Thanks again to Totbox for this monkey-ing around post! 


54 responses to “From the Mouths of Addicts: Chinese New Year, YEAR OF THE MONKEY

  1. Oh yes EA! Please! Add more monkeys! Maybe not as an even but more as a mini event.


  2. Great post Totbox

    I still say, the stuff in the dump is NOT random, nothing in the game is random
    it’s there as a clue to what is coming

    What else is in the dump? and what will it mean for our games?
    🐒 🐵 🙈 🙉 🙊 💩 🏈 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lee,
      I specifically took a screen shot of your Dump for the second set of pics for this post (yep, that it’s yours). Like the ice-bucket challenge, I challenge you to write a conspiracy theroy post about the dump. Maybe call it “More Events EA might DUMP on us” .
      You don’t have to accept this challenge but a bit of work has already been done based on Wookie’s post (which you can link) and sure why not link this post regarding the P.O.T.A. Musical set peices if you want.
      And as a bonus if you choose to accept the challenge I might help you as well (more detail on that, if interested).

      Just like this post it could be regarding just one item instead of the whole dump… Think about it.


      • Just checking diary to see when I’ll have time for that, …….oh, yes, September 2037

        Sorry just don’t have time, was hoping to visit neighbours for the first time since Saturday but that could be doubtful 🙂


  3. Well since it is now the 9th and getting a little late, I suspect we might not get this as the next event.

    Today being Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) I suspect no event about that either. Tommorow being Ash Wednesday… Maybe, maybe something?


  4. Always a pleasure to read your articles, the only thing i have in common with monkeys is a hairy bum (except Baboons)
    I always love that Troy Mclure scene in Planet of the Apes the musical

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Earn event currency by attacking your neighbors in true monkey fashion: fling “stuff” when they aren’t looking. Both befouling buildings and cleaning them in your own town would earn currency; to restore goodwill, you could also leave your neighbors gifts of bananas (like leaving nightmare spawn during Halloween or presents during Xmas).

    Lowbrow humor, true, but my adolescent son would love it. Not me, though – as a mature adult who would never find scatological humor amusing, I would DEFINITELY NOT giggle as I bio-bombed my neighbors. Promise.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice post Tot! I think it would have been amazing if EA had done a Chinese New Years event and tied it into Space.

    As we all know, all the chimpanzees sent into space came back super Intelligent.


  7. My boss made a comment tonite about a couple of my co-workers. He said watching them work was like watching a monkey seduce a football!! LOL


  8. Loved your spunky monkey post, Totbox!! It sparked a lot of comments too. Happy New Year!!! 😀


  9. kingofstillwater

    That sounds like a terrible idea for an event!


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