TSTO In A World of Division…We Rise Above and Sail On…


My wife and I elected to watch the final game of the World Series in a neighborhood sports bar.  It just seemed like the right thing to do. This was a historic night (and yes…for the grammar police, it is A, not AN), and it was the kind of thing that should be shared with as many other baseball fans as possible. It’s like watching fireworks on the 4th of July (or perhaps Guy Fawkes Night in Blimey)…it is cool on your own, but FAR more fun when you can hear the collective “Ooooos” and “Ahhhhhs” from the crowd around you.

As is almost always the case in these situations, there was one guy, a rather largish guy, in a Cleveland jersey stretched tautly over his “pony keg abs,” who was loud, boisterous and hilarious (no doubt fueled by the three pitchers pf beer I watched him consume over the course of the game).  When the Cubs went up by three in the middle of the game, he screamed, “I HATE this game!!!” When the Indians tied it up (twice) he screamed, “I LOVE THIS GAME!” Every close call, every strikeout, every change of sides all brought out a booming exclamation from this guy who was in a sea of Cubs fans. And we all LOVED it!  We all groaned collectively at the rain delay, one voice unified by an interruption in what was to be one of the greatest Major League games in history. We were all there…as fans. Our camaraderie overcoming our differences.

I made a side comment to Deb, that if we were here watching election returns next Tuesday in the same bar, it was doubtful that everyone would have the same, jovial, “let bygones be bygones” attitudes.

And, then I thought about THIS place…and realized what a minor miracle it has been that even with prompting from the very game we all love, we have risen above the general fray of “Politicus Horribillus” to remain a community. We are open to all who seek TSTO knowledge, support, and entertainment… with no borders.

The TSTO writers have certainly done their best to stir the pot…and create division. But, we aren’t taking the bait!

There have been PLENTY of thinly-veiled political references.

Like this bit of dialogue…

Tapped Out Quimby Icon.pngEven though our town is being ravaged by monsters, I am the only Mayor that is fit to see us through it. Just like I saw us through my ballot box-stuffing scandal, my bribery scandal, and another of my scandals you’ll hear about next week.

Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png I’m getting kind of sick of all those monsters. That fish guy made a huge mess at Moe’s this afternoon. That’s Barney’s thing.

Tapped Out Quimby Icon.pngAnother Springfield job taken by these monsters. I say we throw them all out! Zero amnesty! Make Springfield great again!

Or This…

Tapped Out Moe Icon.pngQuimby’s got a point about all these monsters in town. They don’t gamble, they don’t drink – what kind of freaks are they?
Tapped Out Barney Icon.pngYeah, we should build a wall to keep them out. Plus think of the jobs it would create for the local wall builders’ union.

Or this in Act III

Tapped Out Filmmaker Lisa Icon.pngWith all this tension between cast members, I’m suspending filming indefinitely. Art is supposed to bring people together, except for the art that tears people apart. Like the drawings of religious figures or any “Marmaduke” cartoon. Hollywood monster or human, we all need to join together and save this town.

Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png I’m envisioning a lone hero, human, early thirties, facing an angry monster horde. His guns shoot stars and stripes of red, white, and blue and the monsters run away like the spineless cowards they are. We’re only using the monsters that don’t have spines. At the end, we have an art card reading “Quimby for Re-Election!” We even paid extra to make sure it’s all spelled correctly.

Tapped Out Filmmaker Lisa Icon.pngThis is terrible! You’re just using hollow patriotism and fear of people who are different to manipulate voters into supporting a political campaign!

Tapped Out Quimby Icon.pngThat’s exactly what we’re doing. The movie is called “Hollow Patriotic Manipulation” for a reason!

And Finally…

Tapped Out Carl Icon.pngNow that I’ve seen Hollywood monsters as people, it’s kinda hard to still be mad. I guess we owe you monsters an apology. Especially about that wall stuff, which kind of sounded far-fetched to begin with. I mean, wasn’t Mexico supposed to pay for it?

Tapped Out Death Icon.pngForget about it. It was this afternoon. It was a different time. At least we can all agree those feral monsters need to be exterminated.

Tapped Out Quimby Icon.pngLike I always said. We’re stronger together. Now that we’re okay with you guys, I hope I can count on your vote. Or multiple votes.

OK. We get it.

But, the fact is…one of the most amazing things about our community here at TSTOAddicts, is that there ARE NO BORDERS!  We have one of the greatests examples of “the melting pot” of international culture that one could ever imagine.  People from more than 110 countries come here almost daily, perhaps to escape the mayhem and viciousness of politics, and we get along.

Yes…there are is a bit of “autocratic authoritarianism” by the mods to “keep it non-political.” But it works!  Alissa is a benevolent dictator when it comes to politics…and it has served this place well.

It is hard to ignore the craziness (trust me…I have fought my cranky instincts to the point of being bruised head to toe with self inflicted wounds). But with just days left, in what hopefully will be the LAST Presidential election with this level of insanity (I’m hoping we all learned some lessons in “be careful what you wish for” on both sides), WE…the PROUD, INCLUSIVE, ADDICTS of TSTO, rise as a shining example of how to “get along” when the rest of the world is doing its best to fall apart.

I am proud to be a member. Just a few more days. We can get through this!!! And our reward, after weeks and weeks of grinding and determination?  A Shipwreck.


I’m not really sure if this is meant to be a political metaphor or not. But, I prefer to think that as is often the case, the writers and the programmers aren’t sitting in the same room, or perhaps even the same building, and something as obtuse as suggesting that our reward for current political action will result in a shipwreck is way above their pay grade. I don’t give them credit…because I don’t think they are that smart.

However…WE will continue to sail the balmy seas of togetherness…drawn together by our ability to escape to the “Island of TSTO” that gives us relief from even thinking about such heady things.

There are no borders…no citizenship tests…no restrictions of age or gender.  We are all just here to tap…

And so it shall be…as long as there is a TSTO!!!

For those looking for my personal take on the election, and how I am voting,
go to CrankyOldGuy.com 



95 responses to “TSTO In A World of Division…We Rise Above and Sail On…

  1. Grammar police officer is a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. Thanks for correctly using articles!

  2. I voted for no more month long events. Im over it. I should have the final prize by the end of tomorrow. Its just not fun like it used to be. What am i gonna do with the 6th or 7th castle i have now. A castle district? Where? Oh yeah, next to my hammock district.

  3. Sorry to disagree (to a point), but while a protest vote may not be a COMPLETELY wasted vote, it’s a HALF-STRENGTH vote if you’re primary concern is that one particular candidate not win the race.

    • In the case this year, if you’re planning on voting 3rd party for the bigger names…it’s not a wasted vote at all. In Gary Johnson’s case if he secures 5% of the vote he’ll change the future of the 2 party system for 2020, which is still a big accomplishment. So if you’re goal is to change the structure of the two-party system in America, you’ll have that outcome.
      Also…if your goal is to potentially create a situation where it’s 269-269 and the final vote goes to the house, where some have the slightest of hope that the house will pick one of the other candidates (over Hillary or Trump…which I really don’t see happening)…then you’re still working towards an end goal by casting a protest vote.

      However…if you’re writing in Mickey Mouse then that is a completely wasted vote. BUT…at least you’re voting.

    • Alissa has this spot on…
      There are LOADS of reasons to not vote for traditional tw0-party candidates…especially given our choices.

      • I’m British and it’s amazing how similar this situation is to Brexit lol

      • The problem with the multi-party American dream is that our founders set up a candidate-based, “winner take all” electoral process, not a parliament where every party gets representation based on vote.

        In other words, under our current system, if we had 5 viable parties of equal standing, a candidate could win with just 21% of the vote. No one wants that!

        Anyway, we’ll see if Maine’s “ranked choice voting” initiative catches on, and addresses this problem. Until then, vote Quimby!

        • It is all very convoluted, and likely not the intent of the 12th Amendment…. I actually would like to do away with the Electoral College and Parties altogether…allowing a 9-month Primary elections…with non-partisan national voting (not state by state) to narrow the field down to 4. Three months of general election campaigning and debate, with a general election at the end…popular vote winner takes all, with 2nd place becoming VP. It’s not too different than how things started in our country. But…way too free of finance funding to win favor with lobbyists.

          I will now go back to ducking under my desk for a few days.

  4. I work at an urgent care clinic a mile or two south of Wrigley. What a wild past few weeks it has been! ⚾

  5. Read your blog and completely agree cranky 🙂

    A protest vote isn’t a wasted vote.

    I’m British so, good luck America!

  6. One word to say about the election. Voting third party or protest vote is not a waste of a vote.

  7. As a Britain, good luck America lol

  8. Great post! Just one point, over here on the far side of the pond we refer to our homeland as ‘Blighty’ – ‘blimey’ is an exclamation used to express surprise, excitement, or alarm.

  9. Good luck, America.
    From what I’ve seen and read you don’t necessarily have a great choice ahead of you *******

    I grew up in South Africa under Apartheid and had to deal with the government continually going on about the ‘swart gevaar’ (basically Black danger) and the ‘rooi gevaar’ (communism). So much time and energy was wasted fighting the ‘other’ – lives ended or damaged beyond repair, that I can tell you that inclusive is far better than exclusive – us versus them does not work! Walls do not work and it is going backwards. The Iron Curtain came down for a reason – don’t repeat the mistakes of the past.

    Ultimately it’s your choice – but remember that the rest of the world is affected too.

    Good luck!

  10. Good luck, America.

  11. I personally care quite a bit about these elections, and don’t mind that politics shows up in either the show or in the game, but in deference to the feelings of others I’ve now dialed back the strongly-worded “lawn sign” in my town to just this:
    (Note it’s right by the MAG office so that neighborinos can’t miss it!)

  12. To quote Bart, Meh.

    The real way to ignore something is to actually ignore it, not post about it in detail, with screen shots, then say you’re ignoring it. For future reference.


    • LOL…of course, the REAL way to ignore these kinds of comments is to delete them…but, we are doing our best to let everyone have a voice, even when if it doesn’t really offer anything of value to the conversation.

  13. Couple of thoughts that come up with this topic- isn’t EA headquartered in BC Canada? (They have a huge campus up here in Burnaby), and I don’t believe the game dialogue is written by any of the show’s writers, but by EA staff writers- is that true?

    • Well…sorry to burn your Maple Leaf…but EA headquarters are in San Francisco, and the dialogue is written by Simpson’s writers, in LA. So…yes..this may explain the “Left Coast” flavor.

  14. PSS-neighbor Lee, thank you for clearing out the cameras! I was going to come across the pond and throttle you for making me work so hard on a neighbor visit.

  15. PS-Patric, I’m so glad you have teamed up with addicts! It’s been really nice seeing your posts. And I miss the excitement of the ducks being great and underestimated. I’m not sure if I’m the definition of bandwagon fan, bc I love the ducks no matter what, but I’m only interested in the exciting drama of college football when the ducks are in the running so they have taken that from me the past 2 years. Does that make me a BWF? It’s been really hard to not be so into college football. I miss the excitement of young Johnny Manziel beating bama, the ducks going to the first championship game ever that I sent my husband off to bc it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. So, I cast my absentee ballot on September 29th bc there’s only one candidate to choose from IMO, but if I could have cast my ballot to make the ducks great again, I probably would have done that instead.

    • This has been such a horrible fall for our Duckies…starting with the second half of the Alamo bowl, they have just seemed lost. When we have a team that has to put so many freshman on the starting lineup, you realize how far we have fallen.

      There is hope for the future…this freshman class is only going to get better. Not sure coach Hef will make it through “the cuts.” I hope so…he’s a great guy.

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