Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
It’s update time in Springfield! And after 8 years of TSTO, we’re finally tackling Black History Month! No time like the present for EA, huh? What’s in store for us this time? Well, we’re tasked with finding out the history of Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Lou, and the Simpson Family! Loads of dialogue with this one, so be sure to read along to see what happens! And of course, I’ll be posting it as each week wraps up.
Black History Month (Heroes of Springfield) follows the same event structure of the Multi-Events before it. This event consists of 4 parts (or Acts), with each part lasting a week and taking us through a new part of the event!
With Act 3, one new premium character was introduced. In addition to helping with event currency, The Patriarch comes with his own, short, individual questline, so let’s take a look at the full dialogue questline now…
Admittedly, the last couple of days has been a little hectic for me…so I’m a bit behind on posts. I feel like I’ve been behind for this whole event…seems to be a common theme this time around huh? I’m behind on posts, a lot of you are behind on currency. Good times…anywho, here’s the premium walkthrough. I’ll have the first prize post rundown of Act 3 up in the morning. Thanks, as always, for your understanding!
Keepin’ the Faith Pt. 1
The Patriarch starts
The Patriarch: Tim, your parishioner numbers are down again, and your flock just isn’t as fulsome as we’re looking for.
Lovejoy: There’s a lot of competition these days, Patriarch, what with all the new streaming services. I haven’t even started the new season of “Marvelous Mrs. Manson”. It’s not easy to motivate the masses.
The Patriarch: Not so, Tim. You just need to bring your A Game – watch and learn!
Make the Patriarch Give Powerful Sermon- 12hrs, Earns $600, 150xp
The Patriarch: And that’s how it’s done! *mic drop*
Lovejoy: Careful! I’m still making payments on that thing!
The Patriarch: You just have to fire ‘em up with the word of God. And toss a couple of lit firecrackers to wake em up.
Lovejoy: It’s easy to come in and do a rousing guest spot, but I’m a recurring character in these people’s lives.
The Patriarch: You know, Tim, maybe it’s time I found a Springfielder who can really inspire the supplicants of this suburb.
Lovejoy: Ha! Good luck with that! There’s no one in this town as committed to the word of the Lord, who also fits my vestments.
Keepin’ the Faith Pt. 2
The Patriarch starts
The Patriarch: Marge Simpson, I hear you’re a pious woman who likes to plant it in the pew every Sunday. Would you be interested in answering a higher calling?
Marge: Selling medicinal marijuana? I’m doing that late in season 31.
The Patriarch: No, I mean taking over as Pastor.
Marge: Hm. Let me consider that while I bake some cookies.
The Patriarch: Let me give you a hand with that while we chat…
Make the Patriarch Bake Religious Martyr Cookies- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Make Marge Bake Delicious Non-Religious Cookies- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Marge: Those are some…interesting cookies, Patriarch.
Bart: This Saint Bartholomew cookie is awesome! Is the pink frosting supposed to be his flayed skin?
The Patriarch: Heh heh! Yes it is, young man! Good eye! So Marge, have you considered my offer?
Marge: Are there any perks to joining the ministry?
The Patriarch: You get to hear a lot of juicy deathbed confessions. Did you know Bleeding Gums Murphy killed a hobo in a hit and run?
Marge: Yikes. Um… I think I’ll pass.
Keepin’ the Faith Pt. 3
The Patriarch starts
The Patriarch: I see that you are popular with the youth of Springfield. We could use that in the Church. Have you ever considered becoming a minister?
CBG: Hmm…I have always felt that I was destined for a larger emporium. My counter has been feeling a little tight lately. Literally.
The Patriarch: There’s lots of room behind a podium. And in a nice purple robe.
CBG: I do like the idea of not wearing pants to work.
The Patriarch: You already deal in books about magical powers. Just come do it for our team.
CBG: Hmm. Tell me about your main characters, their special powers, and their one weakness.
Make the Patriarch Struggle to Draw Similarities Between Superheroes and the Bible- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Make Comic Book Guy Skeptically Read the Bible- 4hrs, Earns $175,45xp
The Patriarch: Well, what do you think of all that, young man?
CBG: Fairly ridiculous. What kind of a father doesn’t avenge his own son’s death. John Wick, he is not. And while your “Satan” has some potential as a villain, he lacks the nuance and pathos of a Dr. Crab.
The Patriarch: Well, if you ever change your mind, come by the church.
CBG: I will continue to worship at the altar of Fat Thor, thank you very much.
Keepin’ the Faith Pt. 4
Herman: Hey Padre, I hear you’ve been nosin’ around town quite a bit lately. Something is up, isn’t it? Biblical plague coming? Frogs? Locusts?
The Patriarch: No, nothing like that. I’m seeking a newly energized evangelical to help elevate Springfield’s righteousness in these troubled times.
Herman: Say no more — I’m your man! I’ve been preparing for this day for a long time.
The Patriarch: Um, really? Why, that’s good news for the Good News! Let’s head over to the church.
Herman: Sure thing, boss. But first, I need your help with a couple things…
Make the Patriarch Bless Doomsday Supplies- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
The Patriarch: You know, Herman, I feel like maybe we’re not on the same page here.
Herman: Sure we are. We’re both itching for the end of the world. Except you’re expecting a savior, and I’m expecting a fortune. People are gonna need guns and canned beans aplenty. And toilet paper.
The Patriarch: *leaves*
Herman: Where you goin’? I have a whole room full of MRB’s!
The Patriarch: MRB’s?
Herman: Meals Ready to Bless.
Keepin’ the Faith Pt. 5
Sideshow Bob starts
Sideshow Bob: Hello, my good man! I hear you’re in the market for a motivated maven to move this town’s citizenry into a more moral state.
The Patriarch: Hmmm. No offense, Mr. Sideshow, but I’m not sure you’re the type of Pastor we’re looking for.
Sideshow Bob: Ah, but who better than one who has fallen low and risen again.
The Patriarch: Hm. Perhaps you’re right. Who better to lead a congregation than a prodigal son.
Sideshow Bob: Like the mighty rake that whacks me, no one has fallen and risen more than I!
Make the Patriarch Watch Crazy Christian Cavalades- 4hrs, Earns $260, 70xp
Make Sideshow Bob Step on Seventeen Rakes- 4hrs, Earns $175, 45xp
Sideshow Bob: So, your Patriarch-ness, how soon would I be able to reach out to troubled families to offer one-on-one counseling.
The Patriarch: Well…
Sideshow Bob: One family in particular, the Simpson family, could benefit from a visit. I hear they have a wayward son that needs to be… DEALT with.
The Patriarch: Why are you sharpening those enormous knives? Where did they even come from?
Sideshow Bob: An ankle holster. My brother got it for me for the holidays and I can’t live without it.
The Patriarch: The HOLIDAYS? No pastor of mine is going to refer to Christmas as the holidays. Don’t you know there’s a war going on, according to one dubious cable news channel? Get lost, pal.
Lovejoy: How goes the quest to find my replacement, sir?
The Patriarch: Looks like you’re still in business…for now.
Lovejoy: I told you I’m not easily replaceable. This town has got more nuts than a squirrel’s digestive tract.
The Patriarch: I agree, Reverend. I agree.
And this concludes the premium dialogue for Act 3, of the Black History Month Event!
Thoughts on Act 3? Did you buy The Patriarch? Thoughts on the dialogue? Sound off below, you know we love hearing from you!