Thank Grog It’s Firday!
I don’t know about you, but recent events have definitely put the “Grog” in my Firday!
I have to admit…never in a zillion years would I have thought that Reality actually makes the dialogue in our silly game seem tame, sober, and even a tad boring by comparison. Watching the news any night, is like turning on a “B-Rate Horror Film” in the middle, and then realizing that the chocolate covered raisins you bought at the snack bar, aren’t chocolate covered at all. I’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks.
Here in Lane County, Oregon…the home of the REAL SPRINGFIELD, we are in a weird bubble that we hope stays in place…but all continue to be touched in real time by the insanity of other parts of the country. We are distracted by the fact that we probably don’t really even NEED distracting. Which is weird…knowing that my East Coast family and friends are suffering in an entirely different reality.
It makes writing about a silly mobile game seem almost sinful. But, I know my “duty” here is to distract… So, I will do my best to do so.
I get it… everyone wants to ramp things up quickly. And other than some server outages, the Simpson’s Wrestling event has gone on relatively flawlessly. At least for EA. Heck, it’s even been a bit boring and predictable…which was the case even before the Pandemic Panic hit! Nothing says, “normal” for EA, like a good old Server SNAFU. But, come on…in THIS world…is a “Bart Screen of Death” really remotely as important as…well...real death.
Oops… kinda dark there. Here’s something to lighten thing up.
The game was sooooo smoooth for me…that I forgot that this act didn’t end until Friday…and was panicking on Wednesday when the new act didn’t start. Panicking might be a bit strong. I was really more like…”Oh…wait…wasn’t the new act supposed to start today?” But, it was Thursday.
But that is pretty predictable as well these days. Time is SUPER fluid. It either feels like forever…(like when you are waiting for your “magic $1200 check”), or time just flips by, almost unnoticed, until you realize that you have been living your life on “Zoom” and eating whatever is in the house, marking days in toilet paper rolls, and nothing makes sense anymore…and you suddenly realize it’s been FIVE WEEKS that you have been “adjusting.”
It’s not right. It’s not normal. But, we really don’t have any choice.
OK, Lisa…we know all of this already…
I am lucky. I can still get out and golf once in a while. But, for the most part, my wife and I have been in the same space, working 16-hour days, trying to solve problems for everyone around us. Between clients, non-profit work, and a huge roll-out of “home education” projects that need my guidance, I neeeeed to golf a couple of times a week...and make a funny, CrankyOldGuy video once in a while.
I will include the latest…which is sadly too spot on, given the fact that it seems the experts are going to continue to increase the time we are going to have endure the “social distancing” bit. It feels like a chore and a sacrifice…because it is. But, we really are at war…and this is the kind thing you have to do when you are fighting for people’s lives.
So….the following video, offers up my latest invention. This one is “Cranky’s Social Distancing Tool” which will help you maintain the 6 feet they are asking us to keep between one another. It’s not for everyone…and yes…is a “tad political.” But, let’s face it…ignoring the politics of this mess completely, should be against the law. There is really only two sides of this…common sense…and petulant impatience. I know where I want to be on that side of the argument.
There…see? That wasn’t so bad…and it can be downright HELPFUL! You can thank me later.
As always…for MORE vids and wisdom, you can go to:
I’m gonna cut this short…because I am pretty much at a loss for what else to say. The everyday horror is starting to catch up with me…as I deliver Food Box after Food Box to families who haven’t eaten for days…all the while knowing it’s Going to Get Worse...before it gets better. Sorry. That’s the way it is. And that’s the way it’s going to be, because that’s the way it needs to be.
There will be no “Big Bang” or early end credits to this movie. It’s just not that kind of thing. The solutions are going to take time…lots of time. And all of us should be damn thankful, that Bob still has his job. THANKS BOB!!!
Stay safe. Stay home. And yes…wear a mask and gloves if you have to go out. Nobody is going to laugh at you. Nobody is going make fun of your clothes…we have all forgotten to put on pants, and gone out in sweats or pajama bottoms. And nobody said a word.
I lost my mask. I had pretty much worn it out anyway. So my job tonight will be to make a new one…using my own DIY techniques. Gotta do it. Gotta play along. Because it could save a life.
Keep tappin’ as long as Bob keeps givin’ us somethin’ to tap…right?
Just keep reminding yourself how amazing life is going to feel when we can get back to watching sports…and going to the beach…and just walking on a busy city street. Life is never going to be the same. And, that may be a good thing.
I went to the grocery store and forgot my gloves. I pulled out a couple of produce bags and put them on my hands. Worked okay. Stay safe everyone
Stop wearing Latex gloves or other types, makes no sense!! If you’re wearing gloves and touch a contaminated surface. Door handle, debit machine, box of cereal at the store.. You still touch your wallet, keys, grocery bags, credit cards, car door while wearing contaminated gloves.
Or scratch your nose while wearing them. They are useless outside of a hospital setting.
At best they give a false sense of security!
Yup. This exactly. I’ve been screaming this for over a month now…
I use the same type of gloves as food service handlers. Pick up all my groceries with them. Scan the groceries and place them in the plastic bags. Replace the gloves. Pay for the items. Grab the bags, place in the car. Replace the gloves. Drive home. Take the perishables and wipe them down and place in refrigerator in the bags. Take off the gloves. Leave everything else in the car for four days. Then handle everything (milk) using the plastic bags. Maybe a little overkill, but hey, I am worth it.
Another idea: Create a hoop (3 to 4 foot in diameter), attach to helmet.Use plastic wrap to fully cover helmet and space above hoop. Drape plastic wrap down to the ground (depending on your height). Attach another hoop on the bottom. Now you have a portable hazmat suit. Options: Add aluminum foil on the back. Bonus points for making it look like a cape. Add aluminum foil hat in shape of a pyramid on top.
Thanks for the laugh and smile 😁
Always happy to help.
wasn’t there an episode of The Simpsons that had a solution for this between Bart and Lisa, albeit, court ordered…
Thanks Cranky old guy! You cracked me up! It was a nice way to start my day here Down Under! I am so used to stay home, suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, that for me it’s not a problem! 🤣. I have my little routine and happy as. Although I really feel for the Americans and the Europeans. I have been in contact with Spain, Italy, France and the UK, and it’s really tough for them. I am in Western Australia and things are not out of control here. Let’s hope it’s stays that way. Take care, stay healthy and safe.
Happy to help!
Think yourself lucky that you can still play golf. All courses closed in GB.
I’m surprised yours are open. Must admit I’m missing playing & seeing my golf mates.
Mind you if that’s my only worry then I have to be greatful, my thoughts go out to all those folks who have lost loved ones at this terrible time.
If ever TSTO was a ” silly old game “, it’s certainly now.
It is hit and miss here… depending on how equipped the courses are to handle social distancing and sanitation properly, and is a State-by-State thing. I belong to a private club…which is doing an amazing job. We had more golfers out yesterday than we would usually have this time of year. Everyone was very grateful. My score sucked…but didn’t care.
Glad to hear. At least you are getting fresh air & exercise.
Dread to think what my game will be like after being out so long !!!