Friday Filler – When to Lower The Bar on Valentines

Thank Grog It’s Firday!

I am going to say right out of the blocks, that I am not a fan of this event. Anyone who knows me, and my preferences for something even remotely resembling a “real, livable, Springfield,” knows I am not a fan of multiple characters of the same character, wandering around our towns. And maybe the fact that we seem to getting a plethora of skins, as opposed to doppleganger versions of the same characters, may be my fault for complaining so much. 

But, if we look at the entire offering of prizes, you are pretty much left with the feeling that EA has “lowered the bar” on their Valentines Gift Giving. And, that’s actually OK with me.

Much as Alissa dislikes Halloween, I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day.

And I have a very good reason for that…

It’s my own fault…I set the bar too high early on in our relationship. 

As many of the long-time readers will remember, I proposed to my wife on Valentine’s Day. I won’t go into the whole story again (you can find it here), but there was a blimp involved, as well as a huge valentine, and a custom, hand-crafter pewter bear.  It worked. But, the bar was set. And, it was set high. 

And, that was 40 Years Ago!!

In the decades of Valentine’s Days that have followed, I have run in peaks and valleys as to how much I work at trying to hit the mark of that first Valentine’s Day.  I have done jewelry, special dinners, all sorts of special treats, and even a trip back to the restaurant where the first, and “most hallowed” event took place. 

And then, I got miffed. I started to feel blackmailed.  I started reminding myself that the whole silly holiday had a very dark and creepy start, including Pagan rituals, Roman sacrifices, beheadings, and a whole host of other “less-than-romantic” acts.  You can read a bit more about the origins in this article. 

While the ancient derivations may be unclear, the fact that greeting card companies, chocolate companies, flower shops and jewelers have made fortunes by guilting suiters and husbands into coughing up boatloads of money, is abundantly clear. 

How many heart-shaped, jewel encrusted, necklaces can one woman own?  Ask my wife. Five is the correct answer…one for each of our daughters. But at least it got me off the hook in the “what to get her?” department for five years. 

And then, I pretty much gave up. 

Tired of handing $5 to card companies who were profiting from this “guilt-fest,” I started making my own cards.  A few years back, I poured my heart out in an original poem, along with a picture of the original pewter bear. 

The the next year, after not getting the reward I was hoping for, I went for humor.  I gave her a box of gourmet chocolates…and another custom-made card.


After neither of these gave me the appropriate response I was hoping for (there are supposed to be rewards of ardor for these types of acts), I gave up, and went JUST for humor and a dinner out. No gift. And not surprisingly, not much of a reward.  

However, there are limitations to how far you can push the envelope when it comes to minimizing the holiday, if you still want to keep your relationship intact.  Homer is finding that out. 

Yep. This whole event is because Homer chose wrestling over Valentines.  Nice. No “cuddles” for you! 

One of my daughters jettisoned a long-time boyfriend (3 1/2 years) when he didn’t do anything for their “anniversary,” and thought it would be OK to go to a basketball game with his frat buddies on Valentine’s.  I had warned him…there are four events a year that you need to do something special; New Year’s, Birthdays, Anniversaries and Valentines.  I am the father of five daughters. I have passed along this info to every single serious suitor.  He missed it by half…he was gone. 

Like this poor guy…

I love this…and there are others that are equally befuddling for this “Day of Love.”

It would appear that bondage was part of the game plan if you wanted to catch and KEEP your man! 

And then there’s this one…I am not sure what has just happened here, but it harkens back to my first slow dance with a girl…and some fond memories, until the horror of my “solid” reality became apparent. 

Needless to say, Love Is Convoluted, and unique for every individual and couple.  But, rebelling against the holiday is going to get you “Lemons and Skidoo!” So, you had best just go along with it, if you want the REST of your year to have even a modicum of romance in it. 

Poems, jewelry, candy, flowers and even pewter bears, are only as good as how you treat one another the REST of the year. 

For me, I like to keep reminding my wife that one day is not a measurement of how much I love her, and that I try to remind her just how much she means to me each and every day of the year. 

But, I don’t suggest you try this “reminder” if you forget Valentines. As she will remind you of her disdain for your thoughtfulness for the rest of the following year. 

Blackmail? An annual Guilt-fest?  Or one day to remind one another that you will be around for another year?  You decide.  But, for me…flowers, dinner, and a nice card seem to be the most effective method for producing the correct reward…along with several of her favorite alcoholic beverages and low lights. Every year we get older, the lights get dimmer. Every little trick helps…

What do YOU do to keep “romance alive?”  What are you doing every day, to make sure that your “sweetie” isn’t going to give you the “Lemon Skidoo?”