Dear EA – P.S.

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I hesitated to open up this can of worms again, but the final frames of the this update pushed me over the edge. And while I thought it would be funny to do a “fake news” post about angry TSTO players leaving sheep’s heads at the gates of EA headquarters in San Francisco in protest, I thought better of it.  After all…if two major countries can get into a recent preemptive twitter showdown over nuclear power over a fake news article, there is no telling what would happen if I fomented the fires of passion over this less-than-holiday update, and the final poke in the heart thrown out by the EA/Gracie programmers.

Instead, I will simply add a P.S. to the previous “venting letters” I wrote, which allowed you to write “I agree” in response, to get your emotions quelled and back to a “happy place” in the update.

Before I start, I want to re-emphasize that I do not have any issue with the basic concept of “trying something different” as it pertains to a “Winter/Holiday” update.  And yes, while there are billions of Christians who lay claim to this time of year by nature of annual credit card debt, it doesn’t mean that the  “hundreds of thousands of practising Wiccans around the globe” (according to WIKI) should be ignored.

However, as I will point out in the “P.S.” to EA, there are still limitations to how far we are to be pushed outside the realm of good taste and common sense.

See if you agree with me…

Dear EA,

I’ve tried. I really have. I am a tolerant person, and was more than willing to give your “experiment”  (an alternative Winter Update) a chance by  looking at the Winter/Holiday season with open eyes and heart.  I realize that there are far more cultural traditions than Christianity, and that this time of year is claimed by a large number of faiths and beliefs which find their roots in similar rituals.  All good.

I even went so far as to watch the entire “The Nightmare After Krustmus” episode, frame by frame, looking for the inside jokes that made their way into TSTO.  Of the roughly 22 minutes of actual animated programming, there was less than 2 minutes dedicated to the “Pagan Festival” on which most of this update was based.

Yes. I’ll admit it. I laughed at a bunch of the quick funny bits, once I froze the frame.

The opening scene when the Reverend calls Springfield a “Good Christian Town” was perfectly timed. We see the $5 antler rental in the foreground.

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I chuckled when I saw the “Graven Images while you wait” sign. I’ve never really understood a religion that is so afraid of statues and trinkets…unless it is the fear that they will lose market share on the mass merchandise of crosses, rosaries and saint medals being sold in millions of gift shops around the world.

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Dunk the Monk is still on my wish list, although I’ll use a softball rather than a human skull to trigger it. After all…what is this…an Ozzie Osborne concert?

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Who doesn’t laugh at Ralph and his Dad getting their tongues stuck in Jack Frosts’s Ice Garden?  But the surprise “freeze frame moment” was discovering a Stevie Nicks ice sculpture in the background.  Oh Stevie…you make Wicca so sexy…

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With the plethora of television shows and series out this year based on Near Death Experiences and coming back from the dead (can anyone please explain the Netflix series “The OA” to me?), nothing says “funny” and ambiguous like “temporary eternity.”

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And finally…while it is a pretty violent image, watching Satyr Willie devour the heart of the Devil Snowman has a twinge of silly to it, and is in some small way offers retribution for making us watch 50 years of “Frosty the Snowman” every Christmas. Worst. Christmas. TV. Special. Ever.

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But then, you went too far. Yes. I get that you do all sorts of “edgy” stuff during the Halloween episodes.  Yes, I realize that the only rule regarding “going too far” in the Simpsons is that you can’t go too far…but, you went too far.

Maggie…dear, sweet, beautiful little Maggie, would never, ever, in a million years, take pleasure in repeatedly cutting the head off of a little lamb, pushing the head back to the body, and then sever it again and again. And no. I don’t buy that it is a “stuffed toy.” There are no tags. No cute button eyes. Just a dead sheep.

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Sorry. That is pushing the boundaries of credulity too far!

I mean…Maggie wouldn’t even allow Gerald to squish butterflies!  Do you REALLY think that she would take pleasure in cutting the head off of a little lamby?

Yes. I know. She shot Burns.  But, it was BURNS for Jebus’ sake! EVERYONE wants to shoot Burns!

I admit it. There were some high points (the Singing Stones), and a couple of funny decorations. But for the most part, this entire update feels like you were forced to do it…under fear of getting sued for discrimination by the lone Wiccan dude in the office.

Was it Rowan?  He always gave me the shivers… I mean who wears a sock monkey hat in 80 degree California weather??? Didn’t you see it coming when he left the “Pigeon Pie” in the office fridge for a week, with a label, “do not eat until Solstice” on it?

Yes. I get it. Making fun of him to the point where he may have filed a grievance with H.R. wasn’t exactly the wisest move. But did you have to capitulate by allowing him to plan the WHOLE WINTER EVENT???  Sheesh. Rowan. He brings everyone down with his talk about “Mother Earth” and responsible recycling.

I get it, EA.  Rowan had an idea, and he had that letter from HR (which he taped to the office fridge), so you felt like you HAD to let him have his day in the spotlight. But, Maggie. You let him twist up little Maggie…first allowing Rowan to tie her to the top of a pagan tree (aka Christmas tree) in the biting, bitter cold, for hours on end…and then forcing her to dismember a cute little lamb in an animal sacrifice ritual.  Shameful.

But, the final, final, final straw???  Once again, telling all of us TSTO players to be happy with whatever you give us…and get over it. Pfffffffffttttttt….. YOU GET OVER IT when we don’t spend donuts on Rowan’s version of Winter/Christmas/Holidays.

Yes. We are a greedy lot this time of year. We want lots of fun, interesting, unique stuff…and we want it all!

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OK. So you got us there…

But, to once again INSULT US when we aren’t happy with the weird offerings that Rowan came up with is going too far!!

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So, in final summation of how I feel about letting Rowan put Maggie through a virtual hell of ambiguity, when she is just supposed to be hiding to give us free bonuts, I will let her do the talking….

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That’s right, EA. Suck!

PS.PS. I can’t wait for the next update!!!  Whoohooo!!!!

Respectfully yours,
CrankyOldPatric

178 responses to “Dear EA – P.S.

  1. CrankyOldPatric is insane. Get a sense of humor, people! I assume you are a fan of the Simpsons if you play this game, and the Simpsons have been “pushing the boundaries” of humor since Day One.
    Also, a word of advise… if you are offended by the holiday event this year… DO NOT play Family Guy Quest of Stuff. Your comedy taste buds will definitely be blown.

  2. Completely disagree. This event was such a refreshing change from the usual Christmas drivel. Well done, EA! As a long time freemium player, I am actually spending real live money on this game now, just because I so enjoyed sheep-beheading Maggie (which I never would have noticed if not pointed out in this post).

  3. I know I skimmed through this, but maybe EA is giving us a little more violence to see how we respond – so they can figure out how far they would go if and when they bring Itchy and Scratchy as playable characters (Event *crossing fingers*). IS EA that clever… when it comes to prep landing? I don’t know.

    Part 2 regarding Maggie’s mental state, as seen in a Season 2 episode (Itchy&Scratchy&Marge) Maggie seems to be a product of television. I think her character went a little too far with the Gnome in your Home dolls, but stuffed animals and dolls are different from living things. I wouldn’t worry about it because she seemed to have grown up just fine in Future episode, having a career in the theatrical Music industry and having a little girl (Maggie Jr) of her own.

  4. Agree

  5. I disagree.

  6. I just need a few more tickets, and maybe buy the Egg Nog bar, then I’ll get another silver package!

  7. And! !! It is just a glorified version of buidabear, one if the most commercialized purveyors of ‘xmas presents’ there is

  8. I disagree

  9. Let’s get real here it’s supposed to be a toy lamb & it’s supposed to be funny. Ok so the holiday event wasn’t to everyone’s liking but iv’e had a damn good laugh all the same.
    Don’t be surprised if EA gives us a few more controversial updates next year & they will be looking forward to the reactions of us tappers.
    Happy new year to Alissa, Patric & Co. & of course those who continue to make this great game at EA.

  10. I have this thing in storage, like most of the things from this event. I just can’t wait ’till I can put this stupid gnome away.

    Why didn’t they make a “roll around Springfield” outdoor task for Maggie?

    • Since her tasks are useless after the event stuff goes in storage, I’m hoping the update will include different tasks for her…we’ll see…

  11. I agree

  12. I could not stand this update didn’t play it a week which is terrible I was actually looking forward to the Christmas event this year way to drop the ball ea the new update can’t get here soon Enid

  13. I was in the 4th or 5th grade when the Simpsons premiered. Parents held rallies protesting a prime time cartoon show which featured a delinquent child and an alcoholic, ineffectual father. Teachers and our principal met with parent-teacher councils to discuss whether or not a public school could allow t-shirts promoting Bart Simpson’s catch phrases, and most parents were convinced they were setting a poor example by allowing their children to wear the shirts or even watch the show. Simpsons was before South Park, before Beavis and Butt-head, and it was extremely controversial. Homer abused alcohol, government and educators were ineffective, and kids were horrible towards each other.
    The point is, I’ve always thought of Simpsons as effectively controversial satire of working-class, American family life. As a Father today I struggle to keep abreast of my children’s influences and work hard to use dialogue to filter the important stuff out of shocking parodies. I asked my teenage son about what Maggie was doing and we spent some quality time reviewing mythology.
    I can choose to use Maggie’s visual or not. I am not offended nor disgusted. But I did have an OMG moment with an uncomfortable laugh, which the Simpsons have provided me for 30 years.
    It’s EA’s continuation of OMG moments, like Smither’s Whip It and Kirk and Luann’s racy costumes, among countless others. I remember how much people flipped their “shirts” during the Gay Pride update. I support the conversation started by players hoping for a certain kind of content. But I’d rather use this website for information about tactics and WDTCF.
    Thanks for a great website and a good forum.

  14. Ahhh…. childhood.. when we all learn ritualistic killing of small animals. Only star Maggie could make that cute. Ready for a nice break then another update. Onward addicts!!

  15. Gotta step in here – let’s stop saying “Wiccan” for this update. I’m Wiccan – this stuff is ancient pagan and I don’t know of anyone who follows these practices. The Simpsons is about making fun of things, but they’re making fun here of practices that pretty much are only used in hardcore Santeria now – there may be a couple other old pagan religions still using these sacrificial rites, but not in the “civilized world”. I had fun with it at first, but it got so out there that I stopped wanting the prizes. It doesn’t relate to ANYthing, really, much less Wicca. Just stuff they found fun to draw, I guess.

    The first prizes were fun, and I’ll build my little Wiccan area happily with those. The others are getting stored far away!

  16. To be honest, I didn’t even noticed this task. And since I don’t really see any blood, I don’t really see what’s wrong. As a South Park viewer, they went even further and it didn’t bothered me either since it was usually hilarious and had a point. The fact that I watched and loved Braindead/Dead Alive might also helps… Unless it’s real or realistic violence, I’m not easily shocked.
    This event was fine, really. Usually, I only hate events when their prize wheel is broken, ain’t I right Eastern event?… Stay in the corner, I didn’t told you you could come back…

  17. I absolutely hated this update.

  18. I played through the pagan event and won Maggie’s star suit skin. I wasn’t offended by the event, but wasn’t entertained by it either. An event around a holiday/Christmas donut factory and Homer would have been cheerier.

    The problem with Maggie’s task with the lamb is that it is shock value. The Simpsons rarely went this far with a shock, but another successful show like South Park did much more every week. Granted the South Park audience is smaller, but are just as loyal as we are to the Simpson family.

    EA really needs to read the comments posted here and elsewhere and determine if they want to go for shock value or make players feel warm and fuzzy at the end of the day.

    On a side note, all of my pagen event items have ended up in my spooky forest from previous Halloween events.

  19. What time zone ?

  20. im getting a huge update 688.3 mb something cool i hope

  21. Shut up, Flander.

    *grumbles* stupid Flanders and his stupid sarcasm.

  22. Sorry, but I have to disagree. I thought the pagan aspect was great and perfect for the Simpsons. Enjoys doing something new that wasn’t the same old thing. Maggie’s sacrificing task is hilarious and is in line with her violence toward the elf on a shelf from the recent episode.

  23. I so agree with Cranky I believe you’ve gone way to far. I’m not going to buy a single donut till you guys get your acts together. Maggie is just a baby and wouldn’t ever muder anything except bulbs, maybe . But stop doing anything but traditional type Christmas updates it’s Christs birthday not a holiday to celebrate Maggie bludging a lamb this I’d really scarireligious! Signed Cranky Grandma

  24. 😂

  25. I agree

  26. Oh well… maybe next year.

  27. There are 5 main types of sacrifices (or offerings) in the Old Testament: 🤔

    burnt offerings (Leviticus 1; 6:8–13; 8:18-21; 16:24)
    grain offerings (Leviticus 2; 6:14–23)
    peace offerings (Leviticus 3; 7:11–34)
    sin offerings (Leviticus 4; 5:1–13; 6:24–30; 8:14–17; 16:3–22)
    trespass offerings (Leviticus 5:14–19; 6:1–7; 7:1–6)

    Each of these sacrifices (offerings) either animals, or fruit of the field, an adds up to more violence depicted then Star Suit Maggie maiming a Plush Toy in a 4 Hour Task (any Tapper can choose not to do said Task ever again). 😨

    While I’m glad there wasn’t any annoying NPC’s ? My only complaint was there were no New Character(s) with a New Building(s) offering permanent Tasks for several Springfield Character(s)! Even our Mill and Stonehenge are but glorified Decor (no XP or $ generated) taking up space! Now that is where EA failed this Season!! 😫

    I wish my fellow Tappers a Happy and Safe New Year’s 🤓

  28. I liked the event. I’m so happy we got the star snow suit for Maggie. Personally I thought the sheep sacrifice was hilarious. It’s my new favorite task. But most of the prizes could’ve been better.

  29. Didn’t get to that part of the questline yet… but I’m totally cool with it. Sheesh, what can I say? It’s just a game!

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