Why I DIDN’T Buy the Curvaceous Cave and Cave Girl Booberella

Let’s start with the fact that I realize that the content of this post may offend some of you.  Some of you are hardcore supporters of EA and everything they do. Some of you are hardcore KEM miners who can/will buy anything, just because you can.  And some of you are women, who hate seeing men objectify certain parts of the female anatomy.

Thinking about it…this post might offend ALL of the above-mentioned categories of players.  But, hear me out. I think I have some of the most valid reasons ever for passing on a Premium Buy, that most people (knowing my sadly “dirty old man” aversion to cartoon women in this game) may be shocked (or not, after I explain it) to read here.  I’m not proud of it…but it is…as they say…what it is!

Here are the THREE primary reasons I didn’t buy this combo…

1. Enough with the sexual/phallic decorations already, EA!
Nobody is fooled by the “storage tanks” at the nuke plant, or the less-than-disguised way the Observatory thrusts and refracts. And, if you look around, even casually…you’ll see breasts and phallic parts all over Springfield.  Most are FAR more clever than a couple of dirt mountains…lazily named “curvaceous cave!”

Transparent, much EA? Pffftttt….

2. She’s Clearly Modeled After an AWFUL movie!!
The Mid-60s were a time when Hollywood could/would put almost anything out that was a bit tawdry, in lieu of anything resembling a logical script, or good acting. A perfect example of that is a little gem called, “One Years Million BC.” Forget any semblance of actual science (this movie had cave people wandering freely with myriad dinosaurs from prehistoric periods separated by millions of years), there was only one reason (or perhaps we should say two) that made this movie a box-0ffice hit)…Rachel Welch’s assets…that were famously covered (barely) by saber-tooth tiger fur.

This movie ( which only gets 5.3 stars on IMDB, and 35% popcorn on Rotten Tomatoes) is only memorable as the film that launched Raquel into the stratosphere (of exploitation appearances) revealing both of her “acting talents” regularly on TV guest appearances, and more horrible movies.
Let’s be honest…if there was a plot at all, it was all in the poster.

Or the “publicity stills” from the movie… which make her look a tad less than “Paleolithic”…the era from which she would have been 1 Million BC ago (give or take 2,000 years).

Let’s face it…forgetting all of the science (and even religious beliefs) for a bit…it is clear what made this movie work. Boobs…

Which brings us to the MAIN REASON I’m NOT Buying this Premium Combo…

3. What did you do with Booberella’s Boobs?????
As I have written about in the past, Booberella is based on Elvira…who had cleavage that could make even the “Walking Dead” take pause.  Booberella…even the Simpson-ized/TSTO version has plenty of “V” in her v-necks.

So….WHAT HAPPENED HERE???
Did they put poor Booberella on the Paleo Diet?  Did the lack of modern processed sugar and carbohydrates starve her poor body to the point of “chestal-emaciation?”  And she’s sun-bathing?????  No. Sorry…Mindy Sunbathes. WHO DID THIS ART???  What do you have against BOOBS?????

If you were going to copy Raquel…there were SO many options!! You could have her “Lunging at a brontosaurus!” Or “Slap fighting with a T-Rex” (those tiny arms flailing would have been hilarious).  Or even just standing…legs and arms splayed (like the movie shots) and call it, “Stand rigid in fear)…or something like that. But, no… we sunbathe (what’s left of our shrunken body) and make fire???? UGH!! Do you not remember that her regular character is “BURNED AT THE STAKE!!!!”   To quote Frankenstein’s monster, “Fire…BAD!!”

Sorry. As much as I love women in the game…especially scantily clothed women…reducing the value (and size) of Booberalla’s finest assets is simply unconscionable!

PASS!!!!

115 responses to “Why I DIDN’T Buy the Curvaceous Cave and Cave Girl Booberella

  1. I did not have her so i grabbed it lol
    you cant take everything serious in life,you have to have a sense of humor and also have to understand not everyone will agree with you and that is ok

  2. I bought her because I’m making a Barbarella/Zardoz/Flash Gordon area.

    … And how did you not acknowledge the Barbarella thing! EA could’ve gone WAY x-rated with tbat reference.

    • Fitting into that plastic suit was one of Jane Fonda’s crowning achievements in her early career… another great movie poster for a really lame movie!

  3. I guess it also depends on if you already had the character.

  4. I only bought cause I wanted a character to have another skin (similar to Crazy Cat Lady getting an Iguana lady skin)
    The actual cave I ended up putting so much trees, greenery, and shrubs around it that you can’t really tell too much what it is. : )
    I am finding myself placing a lot of the ‘prehistoric’ themed things close by to Moes petting zoo (kind of a subliminal tug of mind thing for me, not sure why) hahahahaha
    Enjoy the spring transition into Summer everybody.

  5. I bought this combo because Rachel Welch helped Andy Dufresne escape Shawshank.

    • Josephine Kick@$$

      My fav scene… locked in the warden’s office playing all the vinyl over the PA 💟

  6. Funny, funny, funny😂…I always get a chuckle from your posts, but this time – the comments made me laugh even more. Not sure who is funnier…the ones who objected, or the ones who agreed. Either way, made for an enjoyable read over my coffee this morning…thanks👍.

    • Happy to add some chuckle sweetner to your coffee! I know…I am always astounded at the mayhem my attempts at what I think are obvious humor bring about. Maybe it’s more oblivious than obvious?? LOL!

      • Maybe something subliminal in the header…”You will get the humor, you will get the humor, you will get the humor….😳”
        Worth a try….🤷‍♀️

  7. 4kidsandacatdog

    As good as all those reasons are, the main reason I didn’t buy her is because the skin and ugly boob rocks are not worth 100 donuts. I already paid 100 donuts for her! By my reckoning, the rest of it should be 50 donuts…no more, no less.

    But yeah, even I was wondering what the heck happened to her body!

  8. DrF0nkenstein

    Hmmm!
    Perhaps Pat-diddly-atric should stick to hello kitty as someone else suggested….
    Having worked in psychiatry myself it seems it’s a case you Pat-diddly-atric WANTING to see ‘offensive’ objects in what is supposed to be a light hearted, irreverent and oft satirical game… it’s not like the rest of the TRULY dreadful events around the rest of the world which are actually important.

    Perhaps it’s time to have that big stick removed from your backside? 😉

    • I think you’re taking his post to seriously. Ironically as you’re accusing him of taking the game to seriously…

      • 4kidsandacatdog

        Unless his post was also supposed to be sarcasm? I’m confused.

        • Man… I am going to start having to “go low” for the literalists.

          Here. Try this.

          Item- no good.

          • Tracy - 1ltwoody920

            “”Item- nogood.” ?
            Perhaps, more appropriately,
            “Them-um” -no good.
            (My dry, obscure humor resurges)

        • Huh. Funny, but I thought the whole point of his post was exactly what he stated towards the beginning… to offend as many people as possible! Oddly, I don’t fall into any of the categories he was targeting, this time around… which probably somehow makes me a bad person. 😀

        • 4kidsandacatdog

          Oops, I meant Dr. F0nkenstein’s post, not Patric’s…

    • Lol… humor. Lost on some…completely missing gor others. But hey… thanks for the proctologist advice.

      • Hey, Patrick! Unfortunately, humor demands intelligence, and these days it seems that there is a lack of the second which leads to the absence of the first. Sadly even psychiatrists today don’t seem to have intelligence anymore, nor humor :/
        (Sorry for my bad English, it’s not my first language. I guess I lack a bit of intelligence too :P)

      • Josephine Kick@$$

        Never take proctologist advice from a psychiatrist 😂😂😂😂😂

  9. Rick in hell id

    Humm guess having the extra points does not matter

  10. Keith1Roon991

    If you look at the should I buy, 150 donuts = character + cave + cave girl skin or if you already have the character 100 donuts = cave and skin, option 1 is better, boobs included

  11. You won’t like me because my boobs are not real, that’s ok I can get used to that. She said he said quip, from where I do not remember. It’s a cartoon and we all know it is the farm game you love and hate. I did not buy booberla and will not. No one looks at my Springfield that close any way.

  12. i got her because i like that 60’s campy look, the cave itself is a mediocre design.

  13. I learn something everyday. In this case, the cooling towers and fountain have sexual references. Reminds me of a saying – beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. As usual, the kind of satirical post that I’ve come to expect of Patric. We need more of these!

    Bought her as i recently accumulated enough donuts to set myself a target of buying one new premium character in each long event if I perceive the buy of good value, and if I won’t regret it.

    I totally agree with one commenter, about buying her for extra event currency and like his analogy about the perfume. Realized you need alot more currency for the final prize, and even more so in the later acts, so I believe she’s a good buy.

  14. Just in case anyone wanted to know: the “storage tanks” are reactor containment buildings (inside which either “the magic happens” or “hell breaks loose”).

  15. One Million Years BC, made by Hammer Films, a very famous British company in conjunction with distributors Seven Arts. So not exactly a “Hollywood” extravaganza as you describe it.

    • Yes. Made in England…but released by Hollywood companies… and the worldwide take was extremely slanted toward American box office. So…you are technically correct.

      Please name a move made anywhere that didn’t need Hollywood distribution to be a success………. I’ll wait.

  16. So you object to the sexualization in the game, but won’t buy cavegirl ’cause her boobs aren’t worthy?

    Frankie says Relax.

    • It’s supposed to be funny…

    • Another literalist… perfect. Yes. That’s called ironic humor… like a Republican who wants to keep his Medicare.

      • Most posts on here aren’t written as sarcastic/ironic, so yours was not (judging by many responses) perceived as such by most readers. Admittedly, that’s a guess on my part, having not read through many of your older posts, so maybe that’s how you normally write. But rereading it with that in mind — yes, it works. I imagine you pulling your hair out, yelling at the screen “That’s not what I meant!” Or, more likely, just staring at the screen, ice slowly melting in the forgotten drink in your hand, while slowly shaking your head…

      • Ha! Love it.

  17. hassenpfeffer

    Yeah, I got her for the boost for the event, although I almost didn’t because the sexual aspect was a bit too in-your-face this time around. Typically, the Simpson’s deals with this sort of thing with a wink and a nod. A passing reference here and there, that might go over younger viewers’ heads, as if they were trying to sneak one past the censors. When they do make a deliberate sexual reference, it comes off a bit heavy handed. Reading between the lines is a hint of perfume, this is more like the bottle spilling in your lap.

    That hint of ‘forbidden humor’ makes for a good giggle, but too much makes the joke fall flat. Just my opinion

  18. Nature makes her own boobies. In Holland we have a mountain called D’n Observant, which contours just look like that of a woman’s torso laying naked on her back. The ” mountain” lays South of Maastricht.

    • Heck, here in ‘Merica, we have our own tastefully named (thanks to the French) mountain range, the Grand Tetons. I think the fur trappers got *very* lovely sometimes…

    • There’s one in Alaska as well called Mount Sousitna (I’m sure I am way off on my spelling). The locals have a name for it I can’t post here without breaking the rules.

  19. Tracy - 1ltwoody920

    “I’m gonna get you, sucka”. Whoops, wrong ‘sploitation genre
    500(?) Rifles Jim Brown kisses Raquel Welch
    Captain Kirk kisses Lt. Uhuru
    Married couples sleeping in the SAME bed.

    Exploitation. Pressing the limits.
    Different time, them ’60’s was.

    Next up, Giant Tarantulas terrorize a desert town and a young Steve McQueen hits it with his souped up car loaded with Nitroglycerin.
    😎

    • The 60s were a mess…I lived through them…barely. People worry about current politics and world problems… the 60s make this era look like a cakewalk.

  20. Elvira rules!
    Off topic, but I can’t find an answer. I’ve just unlocked the final prize excavating(Barney dinosaur). Should I stop digging and hoard the shovels til act 2?

    • I just earned the T. rex as well, and I’m going to save some shovels for the next act. However, I’m still going to dig two or three times a day until I finish the regular prize track.

    • I need the other stuff to get Moe’s cavern 79900 is a lot of tapping

    • Josephine Kick@$$

      I’m going to keep going so I can level up my panini thingie 😁

  21. I bought because I didn’t already have the main character.
    What I do like about this combo is I will be able to store the “cave” if I want to & still have her walking around town.

  22. I respect yr opinion but you see a lot of imagery in the game I don’t see.

    • Me either… Or maybe I’m just too innocent. 🙂

    • Yeah, I think someones mind needs to be firmly stuck in the gutter to see phallic symbols in half of those things. Freud would have a field day 😉

    • Well…I suspect at my age, part of the FUN in life is seeing the “fun” in almost everything. But…sorry…I have known loads of animators in my life…they are ALWAYS hiding little gems in their art. Most don’t date much…

  23. Catie Browning

    I really didn’t want her but I got her anyway cos otherwise I won’t finish the act on time. *Sigh*

  24. Josephine Kick@$$

    *gives a loud huff, turns and stomps off* 😂😂😂 I’m not sure which part of your post cracked me up the most!! Until you pointed it out, I really hadn’t noticed a few of the “resemblances”… I hope Mrs. M can keep up with you, because you’re starting to sound… well you get the gist. The movie that launched a million drools has got to be right up there (maybe surpassing), with the worst Godzilla movie I’ve ever seen 😂😂 I have not seen Boobarella in her new costume yet because I keep sending her for shovels, but the above pictures ARE appalling 🤢 I absolutely love your ideas for tasks she could have had, and actually imagined her fighting the t-rex with his short arms 😂😂😂😂 I’m disappointed to see she has the same task as Mindy… really EA? You couldn’t have come up with something different? Plus if we put her on a chair next to Mindy, she’ll look even more grotesque 😕 Well I already bought her, excited for the skin, the cave, & event currency. Gee thanks for bumming me out Patric 👅 Seriously, great post as usual 👍👍👍👍👍 Thank you 😊

    • Thanks JKA!! Yes…it seems I often write for a handful of people who actually can stop taking the game (and life) too seriously…and just have a laugh.

      But the part about Mrs. Miller? I can assure you that part of her allure has always been how she fills a sweater. I would be just as upset about seeing her “diminished” in cartoon form, as I am Booberlla… Actually…MORE!

      And for the record…just to lay it out there for the literalists…Sex. Good. It is the one thing that anyone, from any place, from any income bracket, can do as well, with as much pleasure returned, as anyone else. I am a huge fan of things that put a smile on my face…and if it’s free, so much the better!

  25. Oh, Patrick. What are we going to do with you? It’s just a game based on a cartoon. A cartoon which could be called art. And art imitates life. Yes? So embrace the double entendre (As it were. Pun intended).

    • LOL… I have taken the art-form to the next level…as in embracing the silliness of cartoon sexuality…and taking it to the extreme. It’s a game…like life…best played with a playful smirk.

    • Josephine Kick@$$

      Sillyboy, weren’t you seeing some vision of Homer in tapping the dinosaurs? 😂🤣😜😂🤣😜

  26. Honest to god Patric, your delicate sensibilities and all-caps freak out posts are the worst part of this site. The Simpsons have always been designed for adults and if you can’t handle it, go play with hello kitty. And stop telling people how they should feel about women’s bodies, for crying out loud.

    • I think his post was meant to be mostly humorous/satirical…. it may or may not be amusing to you, but I don’t believe it’s meant to be taken literally. It’s just his style of humor, which we’ve seen in many similar posts before. It’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea (though plenty of people enjoy it), but I think you’re taking it too seriously.

    • Like

    • This reply made me laugh hard enough to blow coffee through my nose this morning. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD (sorry about the caps…I don’t want to harm your pristine sense of communication), it is clearly a joke…all of it..(and what’s next? You starting to attack my use of ellipses?…).

      I am really starting to worry about the players who are so protective of a game (that is clearly an afterthought by its creators), that they must defend every aspect of it to those who play, just for the fun of playing…and write…just for the fun of poking those who take it too seriously in their tight backsides. And yes. You CAN take those words literally. Sheesh….

  27. I bought it because I like Elvira, which means I like boobarella, and I like to have costumes for my favorite characters. I kinda hope they do a Barbarella costume for boobarella. 🤓

  28. BurningBlaze360

    I bought her not just for the event, but since I didn’t have her, and GEEZ EA! The cave really bothers me! At least I have a Nature Item for my Springfield Park… But still! 😛

  29. DDfromAtlanta

    Elvira Queen of the Dark wa one of my favorite movies! Loved her sexy/sassy character! I passed on the combo because I didn’t n i.e. how to fit an obvious pair of boobs in my town… but I never noticed the other stuff you pointed out. Lol! Guess I’m still a Disney kid at heart! Lol! 😁

    • You need to Google “Hidden sexual images in Disney Art.” Or…don’t. I don’t want to burst your bubble.

      • Marion (AnothrAddict)

        Patric,
        Hahaha When i read this reply of “disney kid at heart” i immediately thought of the hidden art in the little mermaid and lion king which i have personally seen and also alladin, although i never could hear the line that was heard by others when alladin was standing on the balcony. Of course in all re-releases theyve been removed. But no hiding from me, ive seen the original releases.
        I hadnt noticed most of the symbolic decor you pointed out but i imagine everytime i come across them in the future i will giggle and think of your post. Maybe thats just because my mind is also in the gutter most of the time. Many times us women have our minds as far in the gutter as men do. Some of the dirtiest “locker room talk” ive heard has come out of my girlfriends’ mouths.
        I dont post on the site very often but sometimes i just have to! With the replies on this post (which made me giggle, as you usually do, big fan of your wit here) i see another example of how people take life WAY to seriously. Id go mad if i took life too seriously! The seriousness of life that screams at us everytime i turn on the news is enough for me. I have to look at life and find humor wherever i can. Humor is one of the biggest reasons i play this game and have enjoyed it for as long as i have!! So everyone loosen up and get in the gutter with the rest of us, its a fun time!

        • Josephine Kick@$$

          What’s great about us gals is when we sometimes need help out of the gutter, we’ll grab a rope. The guys just stand up there & laugh, then jump in too 😂😂😂 loved your reply to Patric 😀

          • Marion(AnothrAddict)

            Hahaha!!! So very true G-ma, so very true.
            It’s good to have a rope to get outa the gutter every once in a while, even though it is a fun place to be more often than not! 😝
            I initially had to reply on this post because I was so appalled how ugly these people were towards Alissa and Patric for a funny @$$ post. They deserve the right to write about whatever they want, they put so much time into this site, obviously out of love for the game and us addicts. How much more generous can two people be!!!
            And another thing, didn’t their parents or someone in their life teach them, “If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all.”

            • Josephine Kick@$$

              I’m happy you spoke up, I have the utmost respect for Alissa, Patric, & Wookiee. Who would think you could know more about the person you’ve never met IRL, than someone you have regular face-to-face contact with. They’re all such giving unselfish people with the biggest hearts than the majority of people on this earth. They work their @$$e$ off for us with this website, & still handle the occasional undeserved, terribly disrespectful, bashing with dignity and respect. Long after the (hopefully very far off future), of the end of EA continuing the game, I hope to continue to have some form of group to be able to enjoy their “company”. (And hopefully Joey will eventually graduate, and have more time to share his life with us a bit more 🤣😂🤣… love ya Wook😘) I wish there were more people like them (and their families), in this world, it would definitely be a much better place 💞🌏

          • Marion (AnothrAddict)

            Perfectly said! I think Ill be more sad when this site comes to an end than this game, so hopefully EA will continue for a long time so this site can too. Over the few years of my stalking this site, I truly have seen some very caring and sincere individuals, in both the site moderators and visitors. You were on the mark when you said the world would be a better place if more would take note of the kindness and, more deservedly noted, the PATIENCE Alissa, Patric, and Wookie portray daily. G-ma, we will have to create a tstoaddictsaddicts site if it ever does end so the love can go on and on my friend! 😜

            • Josephine Kick@$$

              I love that idea Marion! It’s also a lot better than stalking them on social media 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 JK guys, we’d never stalk you… as long as you don’t leave us… ever… it rubs the lotion on 😂😂😂😂😂😂😘

  30. I think you mean “attraction” not aversion. And they are cooling towers – nothing is stored in them. That said, I skipped it because a curvaceous cave should have an obvious cave, which if there is one there it’s not very visible

    • Pat, if you’re gonna go to the West Coast, you need to pop down south and take a gander at whatever’s left of the San Onofre nuclear power plant.

    • I believe the cooling towers are the gray things to the left of the mammary-like storage tanks.

    • The cave’s been turned into her house, so there’s a door in the front (and, if I remember correctly, a stoop in front of it).

      • Josephine Kick@$$

        Yep Sandra you’re correct 😊 I put it kind of kitty-corner to Moe’s cave & made a trail with the prehistoric plants from one door to the other 😂😂😂

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