Welcome Addicts to a new addition to our posts. In this little game of ours, we tend to forget those characters that are few and far between. We get so involved in the game, so into the latest events…that we sometimes forget to pay attention to the little things. The little details that make the Springfield world go around. The thing that seems to be really lacking/missing from Springfield.
What exactly is it I am going on about? What is so terribly important to the game that would draw such attention. WOMEN OF COURSE! To be a bit more specific, The Real Housewives of Springfield (and maybe a mistress or 3. Gotta have the drama aspect in any series, right?).
So keep your eyes on our blog as we take you on a new journey into the lives of each of the women currently and NOT currently available in the game.
Time to break out your banjos Tappers! This week we’re going backwoods Springfield and talking about the local trailer trash of the neighborhood. No, no we’re not talking about the cast of Myrtle Manor…we’re talking about the true queen of the trailer park (and the newest addition to TSTO) Brandine Spuckler!
(Before I go further I feel it’s important to let you know that I may have consumed a bottle or 2 of wine in an effort to get an accurate perspective on Brandine!).
Ah Brandine..the true white trash hillbilly of Springfield. Is there anyone in Springfield more perfect for Reality TV than Brandine Spuckler? She may be trailer trash BUT she’s also a force to be reckoned with…especially when it comes to protecting her children! So let’s take a closer look at this “machine gun mama” shall we?
We’re first shown a glimpse of Brandine in Season 7 E3, “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily” when she and Cletus are in Marge and Homer’s “Family Skills Class”. Nothing shocking about that…they DO have, at least, 19 children. I’m shocked family services hasn’t taken any of them away…
While it is only for a few brief moments where we actually see Brandine, it is the first instance where we catch a glimpse of Cletus’s “main squeeze”.
Brandine earns her first speaking role in The Simpsons just a few episodes later. In fact just 11 episodes later. Season 7, E14, “Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springifield” we see Brandine shopping with Cletus at the Ogedenville Outlet Mall, when the Simpson’s go looking for a new TV. This is also the first instance of where we learn a little more about Brandine and what she does. Cletus finds an interesting “Classy Lassy” shirt for Brandine to wear to work. Her big first line? (she) “can only wear the shirt what Dairy Queen give me”.
So…she’s a working lady. An Interesting first glimpse at Brandine. It shows that she’s willing to work to help support her family. While I know that that may seem like a lot to get out of that simple little line, it is interesting that you often hear about Brandine working (this won’t be the first reference) and usually very little about Cletus. We’ll examine this more in just a little bit, but for now it’s something to ponder over.
The idea of Brandine being a “working girl” will be brought up again just 7 little episodes later. In “22 Short Films About Springfield” Season 7, E21, we discover, when Cletus brings her home some “new” boots, that Brandine has a job interview as a stripper & dancer. (She refused the boots tho, she didn’t want to scuff up platforms at the job)
So here we once again see another instance of Brandine willing to work to help support her family, and children. We also see the first instance of her ability to put Cletus in his place. When she tells him to put the boots back where he got them and he immediately listens, it’s one of the first times (but not the last) where we can clearly see who wears the pants in the Spuckler household!
Speaking of wearing the pants in the Spuckler household…about 10 seasons later we learn just what the deal is in the Spuckler home. At least when it comes to the relationship between Cletus and Brandine…when during Season 17, E8, “The Italian Bob” it is declared by Brandine that Cletus is the “most wonderful husband and son, I ever had.”….WAIT A MINUTE! Did she say husband AND son?! Yes..yes she did. Amazing they’re not kicked out of Springfield and forced to live in Shelbyville!
We get back to learning more about Brandine 2 seasons later in Season 19 E17, in “Apocalypse Cow”. While there are more references to Brandine (and the Spuckler family) in between this episode and the “Italian Bob”, “Apocalypse Cow” is one episode where we get the most glimpse into Brandine. In particular her past, when she reveals to Mary Spuckler that she was 13 when she married her father, and Cletus reminds Brandine that she had been divorced 4 times before that.
Wow, 4 times?! And to think if she was an old maid at 13, how old was she for her first 4 marriages? I dunno about you though…but I’m pretty happy her relationship with Cletus is the one that stuck…Springfield just wouldn’t be the same with out the Spucklers and their hillbilly offspring!
“Apocalypse Cow” is one of the first instances where we see Brandine’s “motherly” ways. While the episode itself is more about Bart, his cow Lou & Mary Spuckler (still bummed she didn’t make it into the game!) we do learn (and see) quite a bit about the Spucklers while they plan Mary’s wedding to Bart (all over a cow!). While we see a lot of the “classy” redneck ways…
But we also see her interaction and relationship with her daughters. When she has a moment with Mary before the ceremony was to being and makes sure that her daughter has “something old (Confederate Flag turned into a sash), something new (a baby), something burrowed (an animal shawl) & something stewed.” When Mary reveals to Brandine that she’s unhappy with the marriage situation Brandine bends down and attempts to calm her and let her know she’s just got cold feet (you know the floor is cold & she is barefoot!).
But it’s in this instance that we see she isn’t just another piece trailer park trash, one who spits about babies and doesn’t care about them much after that. She does care about her children and has that protective nature (like most mothers do)!
The final, and my favorite, instance where we see just who is the force to be reckoned with in the Spuckler household (and just where I gave her the “Machine Gun Mama” nickname from!), comes from Season 18 E14, “Yokal Cords”. Cletus has gotten the kids involved with Krusty’s show and they’re such a hit that Krusty plans to take them on the road. Cletus can only think about (and spend) the money the kids are making, so for him it’s all good. But one person we don’t see through out the episode is Brandine….that is until the end. Brandine enters Krustylu Studios in a US Military Helicopter and jumps out (machine gun blazing!) ready to defend her children! She puts Krusty and Cletus in their place immediately and says no one is taking her children on tour!
If that’s not a Mama Grizzly instinct I don’t know what is!
|Stab Possums||1hr||$105, 26xp|
|Prepare her “Something” Stew||4hrs||$260, 70xp|
|Pick up Supplies||8hrs||$420, 105xp|
|Carry a Food Baby||10hrs||$530, 135xp|
|Watch Real Sister-wives of Shelbyville||12hrs||$600, 150xp|
|Defend Springfield from Terrorists||24hrs||$1,000, 225xp|
Brandine also has a special 90day task that will unlock once you complete her initial walkthrough that allows her to “Birth Another Spuckler”. While Brandine has somewhere between 19 and 36 children you can only “birth” 3 little Spucklers in TSTO. Those 3 are Whitney, Dubya & Birthday. Let’s take a (brief) closer look at the Spuckler Children in TSTO:
Whitney Spuckler is the oldest of the 3 and has made brief appearances in a handful of episodes.
Dubya Spuckler is the middle of the 3 TSTO Spucklers. He’s been seen a bit more in The Simpsons, with significant dialogue (for a Spuckler). He’s also the one who told Bart where he can find Mary after she ran away.
Birthday Spuckler is the baby of the 3. He’s made brief appearances in a handful of episodes. He’s best known for being the Spuckler wearing the potato sack.
Oh and just in case you’re wondering…here’s a list of some of the known Children of Brandine:
Heather, Dermont, Jordan, Dylan, Tiffany, Cody, Taylor, Brandine, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Cletus, Chloe, Condoleezza Marie, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Mary, Cubert, Phil, Whitney, Jitney, Incest, Crystal Meth, Dubya, International Harvester, and Birthday.
So there you have it…Brandine Del Roy Spuckler (and her children). The trashy Real Housewife of Springfield fit for her own Reality Show Spin-off! (Here Comes Brandine Boo Boo anyone?!) Brandine has been seen in and around Springfield since the early days of the Simpsons. While she’s not a major character in the show, they have managed to create dimension and personality to her character through a few featured episodes and many minor appearances in episodes. Kinda makes you wanna bust out the moonshine huh? (or Bunny “water”)
Do you have a favorite Brandine moment? Is she worth YOUR donuts? Have you purchased her in the game? If so, what is YOUR favorite task? Sound off in the comments below…you know we LOVE hearing from you!
Until the next episode of “The Real Housewives of Springfield”.
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All Screen Shots of Game Graphics & Dialogue and Game Graphics from files ™ and © EA, Gracie Films and FOX