Note from Alissa: Guys this post is meant to be funny. You know humor. Laughing is what we do around here. .especially when we’re all going crazy waiting for this update to hit. So relax. It’s a joke. Remember it’s ok to laugh…
AsI may have mentioned in my last article regarding the upcoming (please?) Winter/Holiday event, I have a slightly contentious relationship with EA.
What I am about to write is not likely to get me added to their Christmas card list. But, I have a suspicion, perhaps even a hunch (but not quite strong enough to be considered a prognostication), about what rEAlly happened to keep EA from releasing the aforementioned update when I thought they would/should last week.
Let’s be clear…I realize that we are ALL sick and tired of talking about “Election 2016,” but there is little doubt in my mind that the election combined with regular EALPish behavior, created the perfect fog, which ended up delaying the release.
Conspiracy, wild theory, or just pragmatic reasoning? You tell me…
But, HERE is what I think happened…
I’m happy to report that this horrible result had nothing to do with the Presidential election (you can all relax now…and take your fingers off of the keyboard, where you were about to send me a rash of Facebook re-posts, Tweets, and Insta-spams to give me your opinions).
But, while the country was electing a new President, something very interesting happened that likely kept us all from actually seeing snow in our towns last week.
California legalized recreational cannabis use. And it went into effect immediately.
I know. I know. It didn’t really surprise anyone. But, the fact is, there was a LOT of celebrating in California, especially those areas of California most prone to have reason to celebrate…as in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and specifically, Hollywood.
Let’s also recognize that computer programmers/artists/writer-types have been prone to “mind expanding” or “relaxation” use of “medicinal herbs.” So…combining the fact that EA is full of programmer/writer types (along with Gracie Films) who live and work in several of those cities, and have been hinting, joking, alluding to exactly these kinds of “creative tools” in TSTO dialogue, and you have the “perfect fog” for OVER-Celebration!
Add to this, a LONG history of EA being Lazy Programmer folks (hence the term EALP) who often take shortcuts, and leave what starts as a great update, only to peter out in a long exhaled fizzle. There are countless times that ACT II of an event is the best Act, and Act III just feels like they ran out of energy or time. It’s fairly typical these days.
But, now…with perhaps as much as two full weeks of recreational celebration of the new cannabis laws, it may be possible that they just, plain, forgot to hit the “START” button.
You can almost hear them talking…whispering over their cubical walls…
“Hey…dude…how come the update didn’t start on Wednesday like we planned?” says one programmer.
“What do you mean? I called in sick last week, and I had some PTO the week before. I thought YOU were supposed to flip the server switch,” says the other programmer.
“What…you were sick last week? Pffffftttt… I was taking PTO last week. I kinda lost my car keys for a week,” says the first guy chuckling to himself.
“DUDE!! You and me bro! I lost my house keys somewhere at the Taco Bell…and then I couldn’t remember if it was Taco Bell, or Burrito King…and then…well…I didn’t care. But, I thought you were doing it. What about Barry? Where was Barry?” asked programmer number two.
“Barry? Whoa…I forgot about Barry. He took off, man…he’s gonna be a bud-tender at some dankster place downtown…dank, dude. Very dank. So should we throw the switch now?” asks number one.
“Nah…come on. If we do it on a day other than Wednesday, we may have to do more support, or FIX something…most people aren’t here on Monday’s…we got the monorail thing every Tuesday…and let’s be honest, the weekend starts on Thursday! Pffttt…uhahahahaha…so Wednesday…Is it Wednesday today?”
This could have gone on for days.
So…. That leaves us with NEXT Wednesday. I know that this will “harsh your mellow” folks, but the fact is…EA just, plain forgot to hit “start.” It wasn’t personal. They were celebrating. It’s natural.
For those of you who think that this may be unfair to programmers and Hollywood writers, let me ask you this…do you KNOW any Hollywood writers or programmers who live in California? I do. And it is FAR more likely that they “forgot,” than actually PLANNED to launch the update this week.
But hey…we had a nice weekend. We were all able to enjoy the weekend, put up Christmas lights, and in general, simply enjoy something other than TSTO.
It will come. The guys will hit “START,” The snow will come to our towns…and we will look back on this week fondly...if we can remember it. Right Barry?
SEE YOU SATURDAY for ADDICTS LIVE! I have a New Santa Hat I’m dying to show you…
For those of you who followed my Christmas traditions the last couple of years…Pooh and friends when up this weekend. No help from Barry.
I appreciate the humor of this post but I still feel like Homer in A Tale of Two Springfields whenever I pick up my phone! There is screaming, crying, some rolling around on the floor. Maybe they’re waiting for the Marathon to be over, which is so not cool. I love tapping and watching!
SC Buildit product red event ends today I’m pretty sure, so overnight EA will probably release a Christmas update, which should be a good indicator for TSTO
I picture half the people of California curled up in a corner with their herbs still mumbling “no,no,no,no”.
I know this was written to be funny…… but my laugh track sounded more like a groan then a laugh.
Who knows maybe EA did the right thing and delayed it due to a major bug.
Maybe. But bug fixes and testing has never been their strong suit. More like…OOPS! SOOOOORY!! We’ll get on that!
EA has become the grinch who stole Christmas.
I got a lot of real snow all day yestetday. You can hold off on any more thank u very much…..lol
I just want snow already!
Got a couple inches here yesterday in Minneapolis. Most has melted away though because it’s raining. 😔
We got like a foot and a half where I am. Kind of an oopsie, considering forecast was for 2 cm (about an inch) when I went to bed. Woke up a little bit shocked to say the least.
Maybe your were confused because you awakened in a different country? You went to sleep somewhere they were predicting snow in centimetres and woke up somewhere they were reporting snowfall in feet and inches? 😉
LOL! Just the reality of knowing most of the readership wouldn’t have a clue what cm represents. Also, my class were the very first ever in Canada to learn metric in school (cool, right…). Anyhoo, as a result, I’m a living hybrid. Distance is all in km and speed in km/h, and length is in cm/m, I buy a Litre of milk Dad….stop sending me to the store for a quart, and my height? Well, it should be in cm, but I measure it in feet/inches, and my weight in lbs, not kg. Temperature is, of course, Celsius, because it makes wayyyy more sense. :)))
See, now, I’ll admit that the metric system is better for measuring length, weight, and volume, but I dislike Celsius, because its gradients are too big…Fahrenheit lets you get much more precise. Same problem with measuring weight in stones…a stone is just way too big.
What possibly could have delayed the Christmas update is that EA is having problems running the event smoothly. I would guess they need to test the update before it goes live and there must be some major glitches or issues that EA is working out. I can hold off for the Christmas event but I think we all could have our snow animation running in our Springfields. Imagine if snow this event cost doughnuts like the Cobblestone roads? Now I have paranoid thoughts in my head. 50 Doughnuts for snow. LOL.
I’d probably pay donuts to have permanent snow tiles to use in my Christmassy bit
I’m.gokd with the delay still doing complete overhaul from a nuke last year and designing in the snow is a pain in the uh….elbow….
Smoke up, EA! I’m enjoying the down time.
Reading the comments all I can say is opinions are like
@55holes(insert elbows here…editor’s note),,,everybody’s got 1. Btw,,Patric I absolutely enjoy reading your posts,, they crack me up!😜Sorry Tiff…had to moderate your reference. Most everyone has elbows, too! LOL! But, thanks for the support. It has livened up an otherwise dead Monday.
Okay. just tried to post the same message as a new comment and same problem…maybe it was because it had a URL in it (although I’ve posted links befits with no problem…)
Bottom line – in response to Matthew W, there have been many double-blind peer-reviewed studies on medical marijuana. Tried to post a link to whole list of them, but my post kept not making it through. But you can Google it for yourself, if you’re interested…. The article I was trying too link to was on the site medicalmarijuana DOT procon DOT org.
*to link to
As someone who has been involved with NORML for a few years (and is on the Board of our local chapter), I thought this was pretty funny… 🙂
Relax everyone… Some of the greatest minds of out time theorize the possibility that we all live within a vast simulated world, a computer game if you will. (They smoke the good stuff) It IS possible that the greatest Sky Finger of all that lives beyond the galactic “Big Bang” as we call it has experienced a Blue Screen Of Death. Perhaps if we all tune our collective hearing potential to the same frequency we may hear the vibrations of a Universal Super Computer reboot going on at this very moment of out imaginary time. I am sure that we will all be back to living our lives, as we know it to be, very soon. The snow will fall, our Simpsons will come out to fight again, and we will once more develop a new callous on our simulated Sky Fingers… So just relax your bites and bytes everyone. Evidently galactic Sh*t happens too…
PS: Love your post Patric!
LOL! WOW! Now that was some serious pondering! I kept hearing the song “One toke over the line” in my head as I read it…but, maybe the answer is really just not quite getting to “42” on the reset button.
“We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.”
That’s what I hear whenever “One Toke Over the Line” is referenced 🙂
Nice reference… maybe I’ll move my “Pro Shop” closer to my Western Town…
Sweet Jesus! Take me back to psychedelic times! lol!
I’m sending Lone Ranger on a 24 hour task of “Not Thinking about anything”. They clearly need it.
Are you related to Otto? Wow, dude….
I believe that you meant the Bart screen of death. Love the post!
I finally understand what is going on! EA is trying to emulate global warming by not letting it snow! Now all they have to do is throw in a freakish strong hurricane event, some flooding and some penguins sunbathing and we’ll be all set!
LOL!
I dont mean tonsound like a screw-diddly-ewge, but i am seriously not looking forward to a month plus long event. 3 acts of anything is getting to be a total burnout. Act three is basically me spending donuts just to get to the finish line. Back in the day it was a prize track and a community prize track. Crafting has basically replaced spending money. So now i build up about 40-50 million, spent 5 donuts on the XP collider, and spend all my money on bloodmobiles. I get hundreds of donuts. Id love it if they got ride of crafting and just put a cash value on decorations. Snow will be great to see, But 6 weeks of an event is just rediculous. I guess the do it for new tappers who want all the stuff that veterans got years ago. YES! You will spend real $ to get them.
All in want for christmas is more land in spfd heights!!!!!! Oh, and maybe Stoners Pot Palace so Otto can have a task called ” complain about flagrant false advertising.
Yikes! I’ll just let that last bit marinate a bit. I feel the same as you on most of what you wrote. But, I don’t stress about finishing. It’s been pretty EAsy as of late.
I dont stress out. It is easy to finish act 3. I just want it to be over by act 3. Without looking it up, wasnt Stoners Pot Palace in the Squidport episode? Which i like to call “the bad babysitting episode”.
” we’ve already got a call for a sisterectomy”
Correct. And there have been many references…including the entire “coyote” bit with the cauldron. So…chillax folks. It was only humor.
bloodmobiles? KEM farming will get you significantly more donuts per unit of money, though it’s more effort to lay them down…
I can’t seem to post a reply to a comment on this post. I was able to post a new comment, but my reply to someone else’s comment just won’t show up! Any idea why? (And, if it did show up in moderation, many apologies to Alissa/Patric for the multiple attempts! Please delete all but one of them, okay?)
LOL…there were a bunch of blank replies from you…Just saw them. I’ll delete.
Any idea why they were blank? Except for the new post I did with just a period (to test posting and to get subscribed to the comments), the territories that I made to Mike(?) ‘s post were definitely not blank when I submitted them. Frustrating!
I guess I could try posting that trout again, but as a new post…
Try that. No idea. The system gets hinky sometimes. Didn’t delete anything here…so no idea where they went. In the ether somewhere.
Oh, I never thought you deleted them…I could see that they never even showed up as being in moderation status, plus, although I had selected the subscribe option, that didn’t register, as, when I’d try to make that comment again, that option was still available. (Normally, once you select it and submit the comment, you never see it again.)
I still think it had something to do with the link I was pasting in, although I don’t understand what about it was doing that.
Oh well…chalk it up to just some WordPress weirdness!
Lol – “trout”? I think that was meant to be “response.”
Two thumbs up on your trout. 🙂
I was going to start the Christmas event, but then I got high…
There are so many references that apply. That song…man…just keeps giving and giving.
I think I sing it to myself every week for different scenarios (though, a note…I don’t actually partake). I was going to take the leaves, but then I got high…I was going to take the kids to dance class, but then I got high… 🙂
I was waiting for a “Dave’s not here” reference but Patric is more hip to the scene than that.
LOL…well…it is legal in Oregon. Not my usual Christmas treat though. I prefer a nice Spanish Coffee.
as a sometimes Software QA person I say blame it on SQA everybody does 🙂
LOL. Ah. The maligned working class of the Tech World. I value what you do…our tech support peeps rock.
Love this post, Patric! But quick question here: I know we Californians legalized recreational pot, but do the changes really take effect right away? I think I might have some, um, errands to run today while I’m waiting for this dang update. 😌
You need to check your law…I am not a lawyer, even though I play one on TV (kidding). But that was my understanding.
Yes it’s immediate. The only thing that is awaiting approval/implementing is sales logistics.
Leave it to the Raiders fan to know when marijuana is legalized. haha– In all seriousness, Raiders are awesome this year! Hope they win the AFC and finally get redemption against the Patriots. I once partied with Metallica at the Coliseum after a Raider game– the highlight of a misspent youth…
TSTO addict and a Raider fan– we need to hang out.
I hope I know what I am voting against or for in this case. Make some revenue via taxes and push more drug awareness with less burden on our judicial system. Win win in my book. Also Metallica is coming to the Bay Area soon!! Tried to get tix with no luck. F
Well…if Oregon is an example, the regulations, testing, and distribution are highly regulated, and are creating a huge source of tax revenue. So, we’ll see. Now if those in the business were actually allowed to have bank accounts, the process would be even more transparent.
So legal but not available yet. Thanks for info. Those days are actually way behind me, but I want to use it for pain relief without having to deal with the hassle of finding a doc who will prescribe it, getting a license, etc. There is a compound that helps with pain relief that is different from the compound that sends you to Ottoland.
Yes. CBD variety is what you are talking about. We of an “expanded age group” are the ones behind most of legalization… Florida passed it by 70% or more…lots of old people in Florida.
Man. This thread is going off the rails! But…it is apparently a hot topic.
Wait…..what were we talking about again??
LOL!
I posted this almost a year ago on your old blog and feel it’s just as true this year. Sung to the tune of Rudolph
EA the lazy Gamer
Really wants to make us wait
Maybe by June we’ll have snow
By then it will be too late
All of the other Gamers
Used to laugh and call them names
They wouldn’t let poor EA
Join in any Xmas games
Then one Cranky Older Guy
Patric came to say
EA pull your head out fast
Just how long will this last
That’s when the riot started
Shouting out obscenities
EA the lazy Gamer
We need Christmas if you please
LOL! I remember this! And YES…IT’S PERFECT!
Great post, gave me a good laugh!
But EA, seriously, where’s Christmas? I’ve swapped in all my winter NPCs, XP collided all my cash into donuts so I can buy some premium content, turned on all the Christmas lights and put all the characters in their holiday outfits. Now I’m just waiting for the Snow to fall… and waiting…. and waiting
LMAO. Too funny. Isn’t EA down in Austin, tho? Writers delay in LA, coding delay in TX. 46% of our state is in election mourning too, and Austin skews waaaaaay higher!
I have a friend whose son works for EA in Austin, and does tech support for this game as part of his duties. So that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
I thought it might have something to do with the voiceover actors’ strike, but I like your theory better.
Patric, this made me laugh so hard….I work on a TV show, and yeah, this strikes me as a very real possibility! That said, please EA, release the winter update! Poor Ned has been up on that ski lift for a week now just waiting for some snow!
I think that they’ve been hitting the button for a week. The problem is that Barry forgot to connect the button to anything before he left, and no one has thought to check the connection. Brain Server is down.
😂😂😂
BARRY get your ass in gear!!!!!!!!!!! Haha white Christmas, bing Crosby, its a wonderful life lol let the good time’s roll
😂😂😂love the wake and bake post this morning. On a completely different subject, RAAAAAAAAAAIIIIDERRRRRRRRSSSS!!!!
Diehard Chiefs fan here. I am so glad the Raiders are doing well. Let’s join forces and knock Denver down a few pegs! Thursday night is going to be so much fun!!
My daughter and future son-in-law are Raiders fans with season tickets. They are over the moon with the season so far!
Best Thursday night game EVER!!!!!! Couldn’t agree more, soooooo tired of hearing about the Donkeys….and the Pats for that matter.
Hate to say it…but the Raiders won’t be done until the put the Pats away. I pray to see that day. Really. Just not a fan.
Go Raiders!!!!!!
HERE HERE! They are rockin’ da house this year!
NATIIIIIOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!⚪️⚫️💀⚪️⚫️💀💯
BAHAHAHA! This was the best post to wake up to. hahahhaha hahahha! Patric, you slay me. And yes, I just got up, and yes I know it’s 10am. 😬☕️🍩
And YES! Do it if you can! Me? I woke up to a text from Alissa at 6:10am…”not to worry.” LOL!
Gotta love the diversity of opinion here. Really. No. Really…
They are waiting until I get on the plane today, then they will start the event.
Ahaaaa! It’s YOUR fault!
You are likely correct. Of course, Wednesday for me is nuts. I have stuff most of the day that will take me away from my “padular device.” So…Wednesday still seems possible.
Fly safe!