Diary of a Wookiee: DIE SIMPSONS

Hello friends.  You know that title makes me laugh because our German friends will just see it and think I decided to be multicultural.  Sideshow Bob just laughs and says the title would be completely defensible in Court a la DIE BART DIE.

For everyone else, I certainly don’t want the Simpsons to die but I don’t always get what I want.  This September, on the Season Premiere of the 26th Season, a character will die.  Touted as the “Yellow Wedding”, showrunner Al Jean has stated that “It turned out bigger than we thought it was going to be,” he said. “It’s not going to be this bloodbath where they all get murdered.”  Well Al, only time will tell.


So if you haven’t been living in a bunker, you may have heard this news.  If not, here’s what we know via media, Simpsons big wigs and geeks everywhere…

– The character who dies was voiced by an actor who won an Emmy for the performance.

– It is reportedly not any of Hank Azaria’s characters according to the voice actor himself.

–  “People who reported on it then reported we were killing an ‘iconic’ character; I’d like to say it’s a great character, but I never used the word ‘iconic.’ It’s a terrific character and it [happens in] our premiere this coming year.” ~ Al Jean

– It’s not Edna Krabappel, the goodbye sequence in Season 25 marked her death.  🙁

– The character has appeared on the show more than twice.

– The death will occur in the Season 26 premiere entitled “Clown in the Dumps.”  Al Jean said at a Television Critics Association panel on 20 July 2014 that his clues have been “obvious” as to which character dies.

– According to Jean and Selman, there are people on the internet who have correctly guessed the character to die.

– And the best news: “What we told the performer is, ‘This does not mean the end of your participation in The Simpsons.” ~ Matt Selman.  Basically means the character could come back as a ghost, non-canon, etc or the voice actor could voice a different character altogether.

– Last little note is back in October 2013 in an article with Entertainment Weekly, Jean was quoted as saying: “We’ll be putting out a lot of false leads in the coming months to try to trick people into watching the premiere.”  Could all the leads just be hype?

The image I used at the top of this post is the very beginning of this glimpse of S26:E1. In the clip, Homer appears to be choking to death while connected to a CPAP machine. Wowza… poor Homer.  We know he’s not gonna die but sleep apnea is no joke. Just for fun, I thought I’d take a look at the characters FOX showed in the clip and see who might die.  The characters shown are Marge, Grampa, Marge’s Mom aka Jacqueline Bouvier, Bart, Comic Book Guy, Selma, Sideshow Bob, Patty, Krusty, Lisa, Moe, Homer, Rabbi Krustofski and Apu.

Right off the bat, I can eliminate all the Simpsons.  I also think of Comic Book Guy, Krusty, Moe and Apu as iconic Simpsons characters but that’s just me.  If any of them were to die, I don’t think the show would be the same.  Also important to note that CBG, Moe and Apu are Azaria characters which only means Krusty is eligible.  I could ramble on about why I don’t think it’s him but suffice to say I don’t. Krusty is iconic… nuff said.  Eliminating these eight from my deathwatch list, let’s look at the rest.

Grampa: (Emmy? Nope).  We all know he’s old and old people die.  While I would miss his silly stories and antics, it would make sense in a sort of way.  When the news first came out that a character would die, a lot of us immediately thought of him.  Seems he’s ruled out by the lack of an Emmy though.

Jacqueline Bouvier: (Emmy? Nope) Same idea as Grampa although I know one or two of you only recognized her as Marge’s mom because of the hairdo.  I don’t think it’s her just because it wouldn’t have any impact.  Also no Emmy.

Patty & Selma: (Emmy? Nope) I lumped the twins together because I just feel they would have to go out at the same time, Emmy or not.  It’d be too sad to see one of the identical twins all alone.  We all know Homer wishes they’d die.  For that reason alone, we should know they’ll be around to torture him for a long time.  If you are like Homer and really want to see them offed, just watch Treehouse of Horror XXII and see them die Roadrunner style.

Sideshow Bob: (Emmy? YES in 2006) Of the characters on the list, he ranks high.  While I have enjoyed every episode featuring him, how many more can be made now that the last one proved he’s super-human courtesy of GMOs.  I could see him dying from all that genetic tinkering.  The only reason I’m not certain of his demise is the title of the season 26 premiere.  I’m not sure Bob’s death would effect Krusty too much. Krusty loves Mr. Teeny more and was fine when number 1 thru 3 passed on. Add to this his integral role in The Simpsons Ride in real life and I pass on him.

Rabbi Krustofski: (Emmy: YES in 1992) If the death has to do with Krusty, this is my bet.  The death of his papa would certainly put him in the dumps.  Krusty’s Dad also must be up there in age as Krusty got his start in entertainment in the 1960s. Voice actor Jackie Mason is also up there in age.  (NOTE: I previously said Mel Brooks and that was a complete error on my part, I suck, thanks to reader Teddy Ray for pointing it out, the end).

The only character not shown that also has a voice actor who won an Emmy (Anne Hathaway in 2010) is Princess Penelope.  No news has come out that Anne will be guest starring in the season premiere but that could be to avoid spoilers.  The character has technically been shown in three episodes but two were during the opening sequence.  While I do think Krusty would be sad to see her go, it just doesn’t seem to make sense to me

So that’s my thoughts on all this.  Fact is it could be any one and the showrunners and producers could just be building hype for the premiere.  I could have also skipped over one of the characters they will kill.  My thoughts are that Krusty’s Dad is doomed. Regardless, I’m just excited that another Season is a couple months away.  What are your thoughts?  Got any theories?  Do you even care?  Sound off in the comments if you like.

Until next time.  TTFN… Wookiee out!

19 responses to “Diary of a Wookiee: DIE SIMPSONS

  1. The Simpsons Season Four Revew
    Kamp Krusty 10/10 A Perfect Season Premire, Should Be In The Top 50 Best Simpons Eps. A Streetcar Nammed Marge

  2. My first thought was definitely sideshow bob… but i would think he definitely falls in the “iconic” box. You’re probably bang on with the Rabbi.

  3. anakinskywalker

    r.i.p krusty the clown

  4. As a German I laughed so hard about the title

    Thanks a lot 😀

  5. I find it interesting that the Rabbi, Krusty and Princess Penelope where all part of this last update. I think it is probably the Rabbi, he just makes the most sense and while he is a great Character I feel like it won’t cause a ton of controversy, like killing Brian in Family Guy did, (I am not a huge fan of the show but it still pissed mr off that the killed him.) Also I think Sideshow Bob is too awesome to kill off, and they have already sort of done that, the episode where everyone thinks he is dead but it turns out it was all a plan to try to kill Bart. (I love that episode, mainly because I loved Frasier and it was fun that they had David Hyde Pierce do Bob’s brother’s voice.) On a Sideshow, sidenote he has been showing up a lot in my game. Hopefully the end of September comes quick so we can find out.

  6. Jacqueline Bouvier, is my guess as they admit a lot of red hearings but Julie kavner has won an emmy.

  7. Basically, I agree with you, and I mostly think too that the Rabbi will die. On the other hand, I’m not 100% sure that “clown in the dumps” refers to Krusty being sad – Bob was a clown, too, who could literally end up in the dumps, dead. Or there are two parallel stories, one where Krusty is sad for whatever reason, and the other where someone dies…

  8. My Bet On Bob. He has appeared more than once, he is in the list showed here, the title can point to him, he is iconic and as he’s now genetically modified, he could come back later so that they don’t take much risk with that.

  9. Thing is they said the voice actor can come back so I’m presuming its a character that is the only character performed by that voice actor. So, the question begs who is the only character of a voice actor on that list krustofiski ans sideshow bob….

  10. It’s Krusty! All over the news here… 🙁

  11. I like your theory and I hope it’s correct. They could also go the Family Guy route and kill a character off then bring him back somehow like they did with Brian

  12. Goodby rabbi it was nice knowing you and not having you in our towns,

  13. There’s also the possibility that a character “dying” isn’t permanent…. In real life, people have been declared clinically “dead” only to be resuscitated or to spontaneously come back to life in the morgue or elsewhere. Very rare, but rare things do happen in the Simpsons’ Springfield.

    Also, one of the major characters may have had training with Kenny over the summer… LOL

    (Anyone who doesn’t get the “Kenny” reference should check out Southpark.)

  14. I thought they killed off Marge’s mother long ago, I remember seeing an episode of them playing her Video Will.

    She was also listed in the back of a Simpsons ComicBook as one of several characters killed off on the show, including the guy with the long beard that’s still in the Game, the one that Goes a’ Paddling!

  15. I can see rabbi krustofski dying…and princess Penelope shows up with krustys 25 yr old son she mentioned in Tsto. Probably be dropped on us sometime in mid September. Can’t wait now wookster. Damn you Augustus Caesar.

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