Note from Alissa: Guys this post is meant to be funny. You know humor. Laughing is what we do around here. .especially when we’re all going crazy waiting for this update to hit. So relax. It’s a joke. Remember it’s ok to laugh…
AsI may have mentioned in my last article regarding the upcoming (please?) Winter/Holiday event, I have a slightly contentious relationship with EA.
What I am about to write is not likely to get me added to their Christmas card list. But, I have a suspicion, perhaps even a hunch (but not quite strong enough to be considered a prognostication), about what rEAlly happened to keep EA from releasing the aforementioned update when I thought they would/should last week.
Let’s be clear…I realize that we are ALL sick and tired of talking about “Election 2016,” but there is little doubt in my mind that the election combined with regular EALPish behavior, created the perfect fog, which ended up delaying the release.
Conspiracy, wild theory, or just pragmatic reasoning? You tell me…
But, HERE is what I think happened…
I’m happy to report that this horrible result had nothing to do with the Presidential election (you can all relax now…and take your fingers off of the keyboard, where you were about to send me a rash of Facebook re-posts, Tweets, and Insta-spams to give me your opinions).
But, while the country was electing a new President, something very interesting happened that likely kept us all from actually seeing snow in our towns last week.
California legalized recreational cannabis use. And it went into effect immediately.
I know. I know. It didn’t really surprise anyone. But, the fact is, there was a LOT of celebrating in California, especially those areas of California most prone to have reason to celebrate…as in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and specifically, Hollywood.
Let’s also recognize that computer programmers/artists/writer-types have been prone to “mind expanding” or “relaxation” use of “medicinal herbs.” So…combining the fact that EA is full of programmer/writer types (along with Gracie Films) who live and work in several of those cities, and have been hinting, joking, alluding to exactly these kinds of “creative tools” in TSTO dialogue, and you have the “perfect fog” for OVER-Celebration!
Add to this, a LONG history of EA being Lazy Programmer folks (hence the term EALP) who often take shortcuts, and leave what starts as a great update, only to peter out in a long exhaled fizzle. There are countless times that ACT II of an event is the best Act, and Act III just feels like they ran out of energy or time. It’s fairly typical these days.
But, now…with perhaps as much as two full weeks of recreational celebration of the new cannabis laws, it may be possible that they just, plain, forgot to hit the “START” button.
You can almost hear them talking…whispering over their cubical walls…
“Hey…dude…how come the update didn’t start on Wednesday like we planned?” says one programmer.
“What do you mean? I called in sick last week, and I had some PTO the week before. I thought YOU were supposed to flip the server switch,” says the other programmer.
“What…you were sick last week? Pffffftttt… I was taking PTO last week. I kinda lost my car keys for a week,” says the first guy chuckling to himself.
“DUDE!! You and me bro! I lost my house keys somewhere at the Taco Bell…and then I couldn’t remember if it was Taco Bell, or Burrito King…and then…well…I didn’t care. But, I thought you were doing it. What about Barry? Where was Barry?” asked programmer number two.
“Barry? Whoa…I forgot about Barry. He took off, man…he’s gonna be a bud-tender at some dankster place downtown…dank, dude. Very dank. So should we throw the switch now?” asks number one.
“Nah…come on. If we do it on a day other than Wednesday, we may have to do more support, or FIX something…most people aren’t here on Monday’s…we got the monorail thing every Tuesday…and let’s be honest, the weekend starts on Thursday! Pffttt…uhahahahaha…so Wednesday…Is it Wednesday today?”
This could have gone on for days.
So…. That leaves us with NEXT Wednesday. I know that this will “harsh your mellow” folks, but the fact is…EA just, plain forgot to hit “start.” It wasn’t personal. They were celebrating. It’s natural.
For those of you who think that this may be unfair to programmers and Hollywood writers, let me ask you this…do you KNOW any Hollywood writers or programmers who live in California? I do. And it is FAR more likely that they “forgot,” than actually PLANNED to launch the update this week.
But hey…we had a nice weekend. We were all able to enjoy the weekend, put up Christmas lights, and in general, simply enjoy something other than TSTO.
It will come. The guys will hit “START,” The snow will come to our towns…and we will look back on this week fondly...if we can remember it. Right Barry?
SEE YOU SATURDAY for ADDICTS LIVE! I have a New Santa Hat I’m dying to show you…
For those of you who followed my Christmas traditions the last couple of years…Pooh and friends when up this weekend. No help from Barry.
Honestly, I find it amusing that so many people were complaining that they weren’t getting enough of a break between events, now, EA is giving us a break in between events and so many people are complaining that the event hasn’t started yet . . . too funny!
Remember, the Gnome in Your Home needs time to spy on you . . .
I’m using this time to farm money for emergency donut farming just in case I just gotta get some new, or old, premium decor for my town.
Fun article Patric, funny and plausible.
Chances are they’re waiting on a delayed rock salt delivery and back ordered plow parts so Mr. Plow will be ready to go when the snow button finally gets slapped! (Here’s a hint EA, the button is under the pile of cheese puffs on Barry’s desk!)
So, while we wait impatiently for the turkey comas to fade consider passing that doobie to the Gnome in Your Home so you can make sure he will give a good report when his spying is complete!
Beware the impending Gnome Invasion!
ALL HAIL OUR GNOMISH OVERLORDS!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our Happy Tappers!
I started decorating and got a pop up dialogue and a cash reward for placing and activating my festive lights plunger.
This may have already been mentioned. :sorry if I’m being repetitive!
Grrrr normally it hits overnight for me, but now I’m in limbo, not sure whether to send everyone on 4hr tasks or not.
Nice theory, but TSTO isn’t made in California. 😉 It’s a little further North.
Wonderful article Patrick! very funny! wonderful delivery. I found it very entertaining. Funny to me how marijuana has not shaken it’s stigma that pot smokers are lazy since the reefer madness days when it was pushed – – With all the people who use alcohol due to its availability and the fact that they’ve all experienced how dumb it makes them i.e. drunk people can’t walk or talk or say the alphabet or drive cars etc. Yet pot is seen as the drug that makes you dumb. Maybe the EA guys are hung over. I mean where is are update already it’s Tuesday afternoon almost! LOL! I think in this instance it’s just a question of our fellow tappers behind wise enough to handle subject matter like this to find humor in. of course I understand that Patrick means no harm and I’ve made it clear that I thought the article was top notch, it’s just that it might have reinforced ignorant opinions of people that cause harm in the long run by keeping medicine out of the hands of physically disabled and debilitated Americans due to such stigmas.
I’m good if it holds off until tomorrow now. Working on the 5 bonuts at the recycling centers, and if all goes well, I’ll finish tonight or tomorrow morning. Then I won’t have to worry about anyone getting pulled to do Christmas quests, at least until next week 🙂
The longer I wait, the more truth I see in this.
I thought I wanted a break, but now I have no idea what it was that I wanted it for.
I’m relieved to have a bit of a break. I was pretty sick for the last week and a half so now I’m trying to get caught up on school work and wouldn’t be able to tap as much as I’d like. However, if the event were to hit today, I wouldn’t complain 😉 Also love the decorations, Patric! Soooo cute!
Tomorrow would keep perfectly in line with their pattern from the past four years but I’m still hoping for today!!
Really happy for California. Since I can no longer play TSTO on my mobile, BlueStacks sucks, it’s Summer down here, and I never liked Christmas anyway, I’m afraid that’s the most important news for me.
As long as they don’t get so high they think it’s a good idea to bring back the prize wheel! Maybe we need to send them some snacks to stave off the munchies so they can get the update finished!!! 😄😁🍩🍪🍗🍟🍫🍰
Christmas cookies?
EA forgot about Christmas this year or the Grinch visited Springfield instead of Whoville!!!
Think of the children….. THE CHILDREN!!!
US really allows its citizens a lot of rights. In some places, possessions of some grams of cannabis could get you a capital punishment.
That’s true, in NYC I smoke out in public all the time with no harassment. When I went to visit family in South Dakota, I met some people and we went out for a cigarette and out of habit I lit one up and tried to pass it. They freaked out. They’re like “Dude, are you crazy? If a cop sees you, yr going to jail.”
Haha
Lmao Sean, in some countries their laws on drugs are waaay more lax than in the US! Cannibus is better than alcohol, and should have been legalized years ago. 😀😆
Which is pretty ridiculous. And in some US states, it can still get you life in prison. Which is also ridiculous.
Oh I didnt know there are states that are still so strict.
Dear programmers,
Have a hEArt. Mr. Plow has been clearing imaginary snow for a week now. He won’t be able to keep up the pretence for much longer. Don’t put him out of work for Christmas. Think of the children. Thank you. ⛄️🌨☃❄️🎄🦃…..💜X
hahahahahahahahaha
Honestly, I like the break vs the family guy app which continually puts stuff out with no break… like… end an event and let me start the next day, dude… I don’t needn’t it started between 8-10 CST… seriously…
Omg yes. Like it takes me forever to finish event character quests things because they’re backed up from having the same characters giving the new event items. There was a short time where tapped out did too but 1. At least I can get most things without shelling out donuts, was just annoying because I ran out of money lol.
Patric, I for one, though I’ll bet I’m not the only one who thought this but got sidetracked by the overall green leaning discussion, want to compliment you on your Pooh and Friends Crèche. It is a sweet note, and I know the backstory, so it takes me back to an earlier time and Patric tradition..
Ah…thanks! Many more traditions to come!
Yo brother Patric they legalized pot here in mass to . 12 days and counting down. December 17 th. not like it really matters anyway.
Hey talon8770, fellow Bay Stater! I thought it was December 15th?……!
For non-MA posters, we legalized Medical Marijuana awhile ago, but it’s still getting the kinks worked out. With recreational legalisation in November a new world opens here in a mostly Blue state as an intriguing simultaneous segue to the upcoming inauguration – make of that as you will.
In a state with a liberal viewpoint but a long conservative history, I am glad that this legalisation can now lift the stigma more for those benefitting from Medical Marijuana, and lift the weight of now legally inappropriate drug charges and incarceration from the overburdened judicial and prison systems.
Patric, nicely played. Your post is so appreciated by so many. Alissa, thanks for posting it with the graciousness to let the conversation go in many directions. The comments it has elicited are a wonderful array of viewpoints. Thank you both.
I was expecting at least one person (and/or moderator) to time stamp at least one post at 4:20. Well, it’s always 4:20 somewhere.
Wondering if it’s legal in the Big Apple 2) Hoping some of my Stateside family live in a legal zone 3) Seriously considering a move across the pond. However, without getting into politrix, I’d 100% be living the next 4 years in a purple haze.
Most of the above is in jest😉….💜X
Although not technically legal, they don’t bust you unless yr being stupid about it. Most of the time if they do anything they just make you put it out. Honestly the color of yr skin has a lot to do with it.
you are correct my friend it is the 15th (even better) lol where in state are ya im in fall river. good to meet the neighbors. Feel free to visit my town ill add you to the list. If you look closely at the camping area the tent in the back has tropical plants that look like pot plants.
Actually, it was supposed to be December 15 (according to the ballot measure), but I heard that it would probably be pushed out a while, because the Board of Elections first has to certify the results, and Galvin said they wouldn’t be able to do that in time.
Ah… That’s a pretty quick turnaround! Oregon was months and months….
I think my favorite episode is S24 e:14 the winter of his content. A throw back from the Warriors one of my favorite movies. Come out and play.
I’m bored 😒
Patric and Alissa…thank you for being so easygoing…seems some of our Happy Campers are feeling the stress of anticipation and you both handle it with grace. Your posts are something I look forward to everyday…they provide a laugh and sometimes make me think about things beyond my little Springfield. I believe that if you can make even one person smile everyday, you have improved the world. Both of you are way over the top on the smiley scale.
Thanks so much! Yep…I live to make peeps smile. So good to know it worked with you!
EA Programmers : Dude wheres the start button?
Why did you even have to put a note saying its a joke? Are people really that dumb?
Well…I almost nuked this comment. But, the fact is, humor is a subjective thing. I get that. Not everyone is going to like or get the humor when it is a touchy subject. But, yes…I do get weary of those who don’t just move on. The Dialogue in the game is way worse/controversial than anything I wrote…but, no worries. Really. No worries. Everyone is entitled to their degree of outrage…even if it is just being outraged at those who were outraged. LOL!
I’m outraged by this acknowledgment the people can be outraged by other people’s outrage
I am one of those that couldn’t laugh as people will be hung for possession of cannabis from where I am. And drugs were known to destroy a society.
Thanks for the laughs! I so needed it this week. 😉