I fell asleep with my iPad on my chest…after reading a bunch of whiney comments about the calendar. It wasn’t a deep sleep, as I rarely sleep well when I am bothered by conflict…especially when I am one of the “conflictees!”
“Go back to the Gregorian Calendar!” and “I’m chart challenged!” and “Please…I HATE the new calendar!” Man…seriously? The turmoil of formats dug deep in my psyche!
To say my sleep was restless as I mumbled cranky epithets back into the ether, would be an understatement.
And then, I felt a tap on my shoulder…along with a breath on my neck so cold that I was instantly awake and whipping my head around to see who was bothering me!
I turned and fell back from my chair as my eyes tried to focus on an ethereal form, almost translucent with the aura of light that shone about him.
His hair a deep gray, almost matching the fur trim on his scarlet cloak. His eyes pierced my very soul as his mouth opened to speak…
“Hi. I’m Greg. Wassuuuuup???”
“You’re who? And…what do you mean, wassup?” I replied in a haltingly unsteady voice. “Are you from the turn of the century or something? Are you a bad Bud commercial come to life?” I stammered.
“Uhm…no. Sorry…I was told by Peter to try and speak colloquially to put you at ease. I’m not from the turn of the century…at least this century. In fact, I’m the guy who helped make sense of keeping time in centuries for almost the last five centuries! I’m…”
“Holyfreakinshirt!!! You’re Pope Gregory!!” I screamed.
“Gregory…” the apparition stammered…wincing at the volume of my exhalation. “But to the point, what in the Big Guy’s name do you have against my calendar???”
“They take a long time to do…I’m burned out…” I mumbled with a shrug of my shoulders.
“Hard to do? You’re kidding me…right?” Gregory exclaimed. “In my day, they had to be done by hand…each one lettered…and adorned…by the day and month and year. And we had to start, by doing 1500 years of calendars…1582 to be exact…times twelve! With pen and ink! Quill pens! Ink in little bottles!!! Just so we could have Easter on the same day every year! We had to make them for everyone who could read! How hard do you think that was?”
“Well…I guess it was hard…” I started to say, my face crinkled in empathy.
“You bet it was hard, you simpering, lazy whiner!” Gregory screamed. “And we didn’t have one of these magic boxes that allowed you to copy and paste and save documents with the click of hand block!”
“Hand block? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“That thing you hold and click and bang on the desk.”
“Oh…the mouse??” I replied.
“That’s a mouse? That’s what’s become of vermin in this time? That’s great! In my day vermin carried all sorts of infections and malevolent illnesses!” Greg said, his face wide with wonder.
“Well…these can be responsible of viruses and malware too…” I mumbled. “Look…are you here to bug me about the TSTO Calendars like the rest of the readers on the blog?”
“Grog? Oh…no thanks…I don’t do grog…I’m a Pope. But, if you have some consecrated wine, I could take a little drab,” Greg said, smiling and moving closer.
“No…Blog…not Grog…it’s an electronic communication that…Oh. Never mind. But, I don’t have any wine. Sorry…” I apologized.
“That’s OK. The last time I had too much wine, I forgot to add the right number of minutes for Leap Year, and in 1732, Easter ended up in July, before they figured it out. That was a bad year for Calendar scribes. They tried to form a Union after that…but of course, I was long gone,” Gregory said, his voice trailing off.
“FINE! I’ll do it. Man…these people really expect a lot of a guy who does this stuff for free. But, maybe that’s what you guys in the Pope’s House meant by giving unconditionally and consistently,” I pondered.
“Sure. Right. Yes. That’s what we meant. Let’s not get into anything else that’s been said over the last few hundred years from the Pope’s House. We’ve had some ups and downs…and I don’t want to get off track. Just do both calendars like you used to, and everyone will be happy. There’s a special place in heaven for people like you. If you believed in heaven...” Greg said with a sly smile.
“Wait…what? I’m going to heaven? But when…and how am I going to…”
But, before I could finish…POOF! Greg was gone.
So…let’s not mess around with calendars any more. I don’t want to risk my place in heaven. And I don’t want Old Greg coming back again. I noticed that there are two large bottles of beer, and three hard apple ciders missing from the fridge, with a piece of paper, adorned with single large “G” scrawled in Bar-B-Q sauce.
Greg. What a hoot.
Here are the damnable calendars. In both forms. And if you haven’t figured it out yet…the numbers are relative. They look high…but the rewards are equally high. Tap every 4 hours and you’ll get everything with loads of time to spare.
Here ya go, Greg!
Click the images to enlarge them.
And for those of you defying Greg…
Now…as my friends across the pond say, “Bugger off!” Stop whining.
Or I’ll sic ‘ol Greg on ye! He’s older. and crankier than me!
Wow you are so creative 🙂 love reading your writing. Thanks for taking the time to do both. It is such a helpful tool for events no matter the format.
Maybe this was already said below but…in Judaism a good deed is called a Mitzvah. Technically it’s a good deed done for a religious reason but whatever. I think it is super nice to try to do at least one but hopefully more each day. Your posts, help in comment sections and the calendars definitely count as non religious motivated Mitzvah’s in my book 🙂
Thanks for your hard work 🙂
I will take that! I am universal in my beliefs…so it works out fine!
I do usually comment, but your advice and calanders have been so helpful. Before I came across them, I never finished the events to get the last prize, but this has helped soo much. Thank you.
Oops not edit button.. I do not. Not do. My bad.
Next time you should use roman numerals when making the calendar just to mess with people. lol
Calendar or chart doesn’t matter to me, whichever is easier for you, but please please don’t stop the wonderful stories. I laughed so hard my only complaint is that now I have to go change my wet pants.
Nice! My work here is done!
wow. such beautiful calendars and thank you, TSTOaddicts, for all the prep tip info for Act II. i just set were-milhouse on a 24 hr quest and ready to place screaming stitch and hem. thank you so much. going to get some sleep now. 🙂
Hahaha. The tween guy premium has me send all the kids for an 8 hour task that earns event currency. By the end of tonight I’ll have the free land token. (I already did the 4 hour task before remembering to NOT complete the quest and keep sending the kids, darn it!)
Best buy I ever made!
Yeah, I love it, too. In First act I got like 12 donuts just because of them kids. Now I’m more than halfway through (i.e. I have nearly the 4th prize, due to gathering pickaxes as well). This means this act will be full of bonuts, hence reducing the price for that character+building combo by a lot. Winning! 😀
I got way ahead in the first act and ended up saving almost six-hundred axepicks. I’m pretty much already done on my act two prize track on the first day, as well as the old ruin relic prizes. And I have almost completed the Flanders Family Tome, too, which is helping significantly with the rate of currency.
My crafting is far better than it has ever been in any other previous event, which is extremely nice because I’m always bummed about not being able to get everything, because the crafting currency has always been less than satisfactory, in my experience.
And I’m extremely reluctant to spend any real money on this game because I don’t feel like the cost is ever really worth it when I can buy better things with my money outside of this game. I’m a bit of a fickle spender and a financial snob. I don’t like to spend carelessly; even if it might get me ahead of the game. And especially if I end up not being able to complete the event due to time restraints in my personal life so it ends up just being a loss in the end. ☺️
I am super curious though now as to how many axepicks I will be getting by the end of this act, though. I have somewhat of a goal for the next thirteen days to try and get enough currency to where I can finish all of act three and get everything that I want so I can finish my Halloween theme build the day it releases. Then I can spend time getting my town organized and collecting income to buy more land and get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. 😝
But at least now I don’t have to stress about grinding to get everything and can relax and enjoy the game at my own pace. I wish more events were like this. 😂
Here’s to efficiency! 🥂
Since this is the “Math” post, I figured I should share my “TSTO Holy Forge Crafting Calculator” spreadsheet:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1bjJ3RbW4DGEzTG6PBKgMMOHuePYCKSQGNoo0Lr54GRQ/edit?usp=sharing
This sheet calculates the best item to craft during Act II for maximum bonus percentage per Werewolf Fur and has a heat map color-coding the best and worst values.
According to my calculations, the Haunted Crossroads gives the best percentage per Werewolf Fur at 0.003111% per Werewolf Fur. For comparison, the Spooky Shrubs, Vulture Tree, Huge Tree and Rickety Bridge all give only 0.00133% per Werewolf Fur, so the Haunted Crossroads gives 2.33 times the bonus percentage per Werewolf Fur of most other items. The Mob Crowd gives the worst bonus at only 0.00067% (half the bonus as the Spooky Shrubs).
The best item to craft for Act I was the Transylvania Chalet, and the bonus remains great in Act II, but the Haunted Crossroads costs less, so the Haunted Crossroads is an even better deal because you can craft it faster for a better bonus percentage per crafting currency.
What a nice spreadsheet! This is so helpful. I figured intuitively the chalet is the best deal there, because it also pays cash, but your spreadsheet confirmed it.
It’s nice to know your hunch is backed by science!
Thanks, man!
Great job on the Gregorian Calendar!
Well done Patric I got good laugh out of the post and love seeing the calendars to see where I stand when it comes to the events prize tree for each act. Even though I don’t many posts I love what you all do here. Just ignore that troll niner niner
Thank you. I’m way ahead. I have a premium character that I’m able to send kids to an 8 hr task for event currency(do it twice a day)(each kid 360). Thank you again. Forget the character.
same for me.
sending all the kids three times a day nets me over 50k event currency every day… 🙂
Yes buy Tween lit inc. Everyone who wants to make the event easier.
I love you.
Truly, truly! I appreciate a cranky guy with a crankier dream apparition who loves a great grog! Thank you Patric.
😅 a jolly read, that was – thank you, Patric – you truly are a Saint!
(to the rest of ye – we’ve got 2 Weeks to earn 287,000 wolf furs – and it’s doable if one follows those tips and suggestions …. I’ve already earned where we should be by Saturday thanks to all of the Pickaxes I hoarded …. and saving 3 Daily Challenges!) 👍
P.S.
Do spend those sprinkles on the Wolf Man and his Man Cave (more amusing Tasks with lol worthy dialogue) 😀
Is it just me who misses the cut out and make your own?? 😉
Another hilarious post Patric – please don’t change!
LOL! You can always print it…cut it up…and put it back together again!
Your story made me cry Patric 😂 you’re awesome!
Well thank you patric for going back to both calendars. I know i posted a comment. Didn’t mean to whine. Your efforts are very much appreciated. Im certainly rooting for you to get into heaven.
I have found this website to be very useful with my little obsession. The tips to prepare for Act II alone have me setup with 63,000 furs, 82 old relics (all prizes won except for were-millhouse), and a 27% bonus. All on day one of act II. And i didn’t spend a single donut to rush act I. In fact i earned bonuts for almost a week after getting countess Dracula.
I wouldn’t have figured that out on my own. I’ve just gotten myself trained to go to this blog for all the free tips and obsessively login 4 times a day. I think of my Springfield as my little zen rock garden. Just move stuff around cuz it gives me pleasure. Accumulate things cuz im a bit materialistic. Numb my husband to being ignored for 15 minutes every few hours. Oh wait that’s not necessarily a good thing. But i do have fun with this little game. And your website makes the game even more fun for me.
Ghostly visit from a Pope. Oh, man, that was fun to read while I tap away at my dig site. Had like, 200 pickaxes stocked, plus the 3 daily challenges so I should be safe to lose most of tomorrow babysitting my nieces.
Thank you for the calendar, but in all seriousness? I could’ve just written the numbers in my planner like I did for act 1 with the other chart. I would’ve survived just fine. Yours is far nicer of course, and I appreciate it, but don’t go stressing over it so much that Gregory makes another visit.
It definitely doesn’t hurt to be kind to others. Have been noticing an unkindness streak here and there that didn’t used to be around. Or maybe I’m just noticing it more than I did before. I for one enjoy this blog and all who contribute to it. I would have more than likely have quit this game a long time ago if not for this site. I enjoy connecting with people here too. Let’s just enjoy having the calendars back and try not to bicker. 😎🎃
Patric why did you do the calendar already? Now I can see that I am only 3 1/2 days ahead and it’s going to drive me insane knowing that. Why didn’t you just keep on napping.
Really thou thanks for all your hard work and dedication. But I do need to get to work on the event I should be almost finished by now.
Thanks to saving up my pickaxes, 3 daily challenges, and safi’s tip on the investment of slick and the building that came with him, I’m already 4 days ahead. All because of this site & its wonderful tips! Thank you!
I enjoy your calendars very much and your game insights even more, thanks for your time and talents.
I totally appreciate what you do. Have you ever thought about having subscribers instead? I’d pay to read (and to be free from the eye-sore ads). I feel like you’d cultivate a different crowd. Is there such a thing as a newsletter application? Where we’d get notified of your posts? Might be worth a look!
At this point, 5 years later, it’s not worth it. Plus I prefer to offer info to a wider audience by keeping this site free. Not to mention TSTO players have a hard time paying $1.99 for donuts, i doubt they’ll pay for a website.
Oh wow! Lol love it. As always I enjoy your posts, I was grinning throughout and laughing too. I couldn’t imagine doing calendars by hand that wouldn’t be fun at all. Thank you for taking the time to make and post the calendars Patric. 😎🎃
Always love your calendars!!! Thank you for your hard work on them!
Just with saving 3 daily bonuses and around 480 pick axes……I already have the Were-Milhouse (costume), the Were-Milhouse (costume), and 95% of the way for the free land token….. all within the first time playing the new Act this morning.
A little prep and foresight surely does go a LONG ways…..
corrected….
Just with saving 3 daily bonuses and around 480 pick axes……I already have the Were-Milhouse (costume), the Haunted Crossroads, and 95% of the way for the free land token….. all within the first time playing the new Act this morning..
Perfect post! Thanks for all you do, Patric and Alissa!
Haha well said, that man, CLASS act lol
…um 🙏🏽 thanks… um… Patric, you are a saint… Patric… 😇
He Patric, love what you do, though Oct 23 has a wrong number… 12300 instead of 123000 ;-P…
Have a great day!
Kai
Yea, it’s just a typo and he already had to make one change to it I highly doubt he’s going to change it all again. I think it’s a pretty easy error to look at and see, it’s just an error.
Jeez, you’re long winded, can’t you get to the point any faster?
Yes, he could get to the point faster but we enjoy making your head explode. Oh hey look I found some of your brains over here by the gutter!
THIS. This I want everyone to see. THIS is why Patric gets annoyed at doing calendars. Ungrateful SOBs like this…
Look I know we do what we do because we want to do it. And I don’t expect anyone to grovel at our feet and kiss our behinds or even say thank you, by any means. In fact, I’m grateful you’re all here reading what we write, and you’ve allowed us to continue doing it for as long as we have. Which is why we’re usually the ones to say Thank you.
But I do expect people to not be jerks about stuff, or feel/act like you’re entitled to what we do/write. You’re visiting this site for free, we don’t charge you to be here. If you don’t like it, don’t read it or go somewhere else. A little kindness never hurts anyone. So if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all and go somewhere else. If you’re nice to us, we’re nice back. But if you’re a jerk to us, odds are we’re going to call you out on it.
So just be nice. After all, Santa is watching…
You do realize Santa isn’t real, right? Just like the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, God, and monogamy. I let it go since you’re a woman and unable to think rationally, but Pat knows what I’m saying. Most of the time you need to get right to the point and not bombard readers with nonsensical dreams
🤦♀️
No need for me to add anymore to this, as you’ve already dug your own grave.
R u for real? I look forward to these “long” posts. They make me…and others(MEN and women)…smile. Sheesh. Lighten up.😒
Wow… misogynistic much? You know this site wouldn’t be here at all without the woman you just insulted, right? Something to consider.
Moreover? Some, I’d wager most of us, enjoy Patric’s little dramatization in this post (and stories from many, many others), as they always make me smile and often make me laugh. If you don’t like it, skim to the parts that are of actual interest to you. We have a little thing called free will.
Is anyone pointing a gun at you and forces you to read everything?
If you dont want to read it, just dont. But dont be a d* about it and dont try to be funny, you’re not good at it. If you’re here just for the calender, then scroll down, it’s not that tiny, you’re not gonna miss it… Jeez…
Wow… don’t be foolish. If you don’t like it, start your own misogynistic and concise blog. This site tends to be a community of long-term players as well as newer players looking for info. With comments like that, neither group needs you here. Please go away- it’s a testament to the even-natured and laid back mentality of the mods that your comment is even posted.
Um,,not sure if you realize that this long-winded,,nonsensical dream was written by a man? You unkind sir,,will not be welcomed here if you continue posting in this manner. I,as well as many others,come to this site because it is a fun,friendly environment to help each other in a constructive & positive way. Just a little fyi in case you don’t know.
You “sir” are astoundingly ignorant and one of the too many beer swilling, thick necked, fools that make the rest of us look bad. Calling you crude names would only be a put down to which ever name I chose.
Now, be gone with you!
~MIB🕵️
Well, niner,_niner, I’d let this go, but as it is obvious that you are an *0, I’ll point it out real slow-like, so you can catch on after the third read or so. The little squiggly things are words. If you don’t like what those words say, you can “scroll” (Google it, it’s a real thing) past them to get to the calendars- they’re the things that look like pictures, with numbers (they are squiggly like words, but have different meaning) and a few words. Does someone have a gun to your head making you read it? Didn’t think so. Not interested in your mysogynist point of view. Hope you appreciate my condescending opinion.
Late to the party, so I’ll make this quick for you (as you seem to think thats the only way things should be). You are in the wrong, and flat out wrong. I’m male, (therefor able to think rationally by your logic), In my eyes, God is real, as is monogamy. And global warming, if you’re one of those too. Also, people come to this site because of its personality. If you dont like it, 1) dont visit here, 2) Scroll down to the calendar (the picture with the boxes that says act 2 calender, or 3) do the math yourself. If someone takes time out of their day to do something to make things easier on you, you THANK them, not insult them.
Sending virtual hugs from the west coast of Canada. Some people aren’t so good at being grateful for what they have. I know you said you don’t expect people to say thank you, but in all seriousness? I probably would’ve given up on this game along time ago without your site, and I always look forward to Addicts Live even though life rarely let’s me watch it live. Don’t let the jerks get you down. There are probably far more people lurking/not commenting that appreciate all you, Patric, Safi and Wookie (when he can) do for us.
🤗 thank you for the sweet words
You’re most welcome, Alissa. Not that I left that comment for a thank you myself. I could just feel how frustrated you were and wanted to do what I could to help.
Jeez, you’re ungrateful, can’t you be more appreciative? However, if you wrote that in jest here is some advice, know your audience!
Good point….hard to “sound” like ur kidding in a post.
I try to give the benefit of the doubt but his/her second reply solidified their need to be banished from Addicts. Rule 99, Don’t piss Alissa off!!!
I do have a fun “blacklist” button… I’ve exercised it more in the last year than the 4 years previous lol
Are you doing ok? I ask only because jackbooted thugs have clearly broken into your house and physically prevented you from scrolling down a few inches to bypass the words and get to the calendar.
I enjoy TSTO so much more because of this site, and I’m super appreciative for all you do! Sometimes there are posts that don’t really interest me, but I found this amazing life hack where I skip over them and continue enjoying my day.
Niner_niner
You must be a Russian Bot!
I refuse to believe any real Tapper who visits this site could behave so rude (if you are for real? I wouldn’t be surprised if you lose Neighboreenos …. there’s no need your Bot behavior, please)
Cheer up everyone – enjoy Act 2 – and thank you Alissa and Patric and Safi and Wookie for keeping this site fun 👍😀
A-freaking-men👏👏👏
Oh Niner_niner. You should have known better.
Imao😂
Ha ha haaar yeah! 🤣🤣🤣
Ah, Billy Madison. It’s been decades and parts of that movie are still just so very perfect. Thank you for reminding me.
Don’t feed the trolls!
Not going to feed the troll, just trying to lure it into the sunlight so it turns to stone. 😉
Alissa, Patric, Safi, Wookie, and any others who help make this blog so enjoyable: Thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do, voluntarily!
The majority of us are truely greatful, and I’m sure there are as least as many lurkers who support you but just aren’t the type to post about it.
I was involved in starting, growing, and moderating a popular message board in the 2000’s (which was eventually bought out and absorbed by a larger company) so I know 1st hand how much work goes into creating successful content.
BoY…this turned into quite the ramble, from what was supposed to be a simple burn\thank you blurb!
~MIB🕵️
Here….let’s make this really short… “BITE ME!” LOL!
That thumping noise you just heard was me falling off my chair laughing!
Well played, Sir!