From the Mouths of Addicts: CGuy Live from the Easter Front!

cguymouthsofaddicts2

Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!

Welcome to another edition of From the Mouths of Addicts, where YOU get to sound off on anything and everything in the world of Tapped Out!  This week’s post comes to us from one of our favorite Addicts, and frequent commenter, CGuy!  It’s CGuy’s hilarious “on the scene” reports had us cracking up around the Christmas update, and he was at it again this Easter!  This time with a battlefield twist…

He had many of us cracking up with his daily report from the “Easter Front”, so if you missed any of his hilarious recaps here’s your chance to catch up!  Enjoy it Tappers I know it still has me cracking up…

5/6 0853:
Cguy hear, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-7 (7 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting side note, the D in D-Day stands for…. Day! Day-Day! Gotta love the creative military mind.

Our brave forces are preparing for the end of the Bunny Invasion, collecting supplies as best they can, although all the forces of Nature and EA seem to be against them.

Since D-8, they collected enough Blue Eggs to give them enough Pink Eggs for a Pink Box, where they found 300 Gold Eggs, which let them find a Gold Box, which gave them… 250 Pink Eggs. Yes, 1000 Blue Eggs became 250 Pink Eggs.

They persevered, and collected enough Blue and Pink Eggs to give them one more shot at a Pink Box. This time, they collected their 7th Easter Tree. Perhaps they can use these trees for fortification – although one does NOT want to consider the necessary camo gear.

On the upside, they have been fortunate to receive 1 pink and 2 blue baskets – a HUGE haul compared to the last 2 weeks. Although, at the time of this report they all stand empty.

Speaking of baskets…, we KNOW all the entirety of the BIF (Bunny Invasion Force) is composed of females, since they lay eggs. But what the heck do they bring that lays baskets??!?!!?! If these are more bunnies, I don’t want to go NEAR that anatomy.

Hopefully, the D-7 preparations go better.

From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Be Well.

**********

5/7 1108:
Cguy here again (as opposed to hear – jeez, there should be an edit button), reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-6 (6 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting side note: did you know that carrots are actually BAD for rabbits? Our floppy-eared friends don’t eat root vegetables in the wild, and carrots contain so much sugar, they can lead to tooth decay! (I bet you thought I was going to say the H in H-hour stood for hour, but I am not – sometimes I just crack myself up).

Yesterday, after the report, started so well. Our troops had collected an unprecedented 4 blue and 1 pink baskets, and they filled up rapidly! They ran to collect the eggs, and then turn them into all pink eggs. This gave them enough for 3 pink boxes!

First box: the 5th Beach Towel and Umbrella – what is this, a battle or a vacation???

Second box: 300 gold eggs

Third box: 300 gold eggs, now we are getting somewhere.

Gold box: 2 pastel fences 😦 #’s 54-55 – the pickets aren’t even close enough to hold the fattest little Bugs out. Looks like our forces are planting carrots – if they can’t keep them out, they will rot those bloody choppers right inside their little pink mouths.

Despite their best efforts, no more pink boxes were collected.

In off the record conversations, all blame is being attributed to a certain supply sergeant. I am not allowed to mention his name, but his initials are EA.

The rest of the day was just poor, no new baskets, no Fabergé Eggs, no worthwhile items for going on 15 days.

Crossed-fingers for D-6.

From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Good Day!

**********

5/8 1300:
It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-5 (5 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting fact about Invasions: To fight back the D-Day invasion, Field Marshal Karl Rudolf Gerd von Rundsted had ordered two German armored tank divisions to be moved to Normandy, but his superiors chose to wait until Hitler was awake to get his approval for the move, since he hated being woken up. I guess while the early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese!

After the unprecedented 5 baskets on D-6, only 1 new basket was found. True to his word, Brian Dockens rapidly filled it to capacity. What was the reward? 3 more fence parts, #s 53-56.

Some more rapid collecting led to one more pink box, this time with golden eggs in it. The subsequent gold box: pastel fences, #s 57-58.

It must have been a rest day, the rest of the collection went slowly, and no more boxes were uncovered.

Finally got an interview with Bluethroat, who sang me a song – but only under deep cover, so we met in the tundra. He claims that supply sergeant “EA” is in cahoots with 3 suspicious characters known only by THEIR initials: “A”, “B” and “W”. According to BT, they are trying to corner the market on eggs, baskets and boxes – which they intend to sell at inflated (one might even say “raised”) prices, i.e., plenty of dough! Nuts!

The rest of the day was just as bad as D-6, no new baskets, no Fabergé Eggs, no worthwhile items for going on 16 days.

Crossed-everything for D-4.

From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Be safe out there!

**********

5/9 0842:
It was a sad and unproductive day in Cguyfield.

It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-4 (4 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting fact about Easter: The name, “Easter” comes from a goddess: Her name was Eostre and She was the Mother Goddess of the Saxons of Northern Europe. It tickles my funny bone that not only the name, but most of the practices (rabbits, eggs, ham, etc.) are not Christian practices, but instead are Pagan practices! Go Goddess!

Again, sad and unproductive. Day 10 of no new supplies collected. The men could only collect enough eggs for one pink box – which gave our brave troops: Easter Tree #5.

So, avert your eyes, turn your head, there’s nothing to see here.

And that’s the way it is on D-4. Good Night!

You’re still here?

It’s over!

Go home.

Go!

**********

5/11 2025:
It was the end of a devastating two weeks in Cguyfield.

It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-2 (2 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). I have NO interesting facts today, y’all are lucky I got out of bed.

On D-16, our troops needed:
Blocko Store
Chirpy Boy & Bart Junior
Hugs Bunny
Shary Bobbins
Father Sean
Kang Topiary (sort of)

Today, on D-2, our troops need:… the exact same list.

Two weeks of constant tapping, visiting, cajoling — 35 to 40 or more opened boxes — for a sum total of bupkis. And there’s your Yiddish lesson for the day. It’s worth what you paid for it.

I am so unhappy with being COMPLETELY shut out for 14 days, I can’t bring myself to consider buying gold eggs, much less pink eggs.

I need a stiff bourbon, hold the glass.

**********

5/13 1120:
D-Day happened at 0800 UCT this morning.

It’s Cguy, with my last from the Easter Front. Interesting fact about war correspondents: Thucydides’ coverage of the Peloponnesian Wars is widely considered the first known instance of war journalism.

Our valiant troops are engaged with the floppy-eared bunny enemy. The battle has been raging for almost 7 hours now with no sign of ending. Some of the general’s staff believe that the enemy can only last another 1 to 3 hours, but they only put a 60-40 odds on this, it could go on another couple of days.

After the court martial and subsequent firing squad dismissal of our former supply sergeant, his replacement proved much more effective. Due to the imminent battle, Command had to make some unexpected last minute spending decisions – they were likely quite painful. But nothing is too good for our troops, and when they went into battle they were fully equipped.

Since the battle is engaged, the inventory is no longer being embargoed:

60 Easter Fences
44 Pastel Picket Fences
11 Easter Gates
60 Easter Fences
8 Easter Trees
6 Easter Egg Piles
6 Easter Ponds
6 Kodos Topiary
5 Kang Topiary
Banana Dictatorship
Bunny 24601
The Egg Council Guy
Johnny FIesta’s
Block-O-Store
Hugs Bunny
Chirpy & Bart Jr
Shary Bobbins

This doesn’t include any currency exchange, but accounts for 102 supply shipments – or more than 51000 eggs.

Our troops are confident that the battle will be theirs – they will drive those lecherous leporēs, including their leader – who will drive back to the basement.

Since this is my last report from the Easter Front, I thought the readers would enjoy a couple of interesting anecdotes.

I find it funny that when Lisa is babysitting Rod and Todd, Rod and Todd actually have to be there. But when Grandpa is babysitting Bart and Lisa, they could be all the way across town – and he doesn’t seem to notice. Now, is this intentional on the part of the Empire of Anarchy? Or was this is lazy oversight?

Even more amusing is when Todd is leaving Sunday School, and he is heard to say “That was fun! So it must’ve been bad…”, hopefully Ned doesn’t hear that.

Well, it’s been a blast keeping my loyal readers informed, and I will miss this, but — like I am assuming most of you — I am SO over this event!

**********

5/14 0755:
It’s Cguy, with a completely unexpected follow-up from the Easter Front. It’s D+1, and no one expected the battle to last this long. Speaking of Mary Poppins, several of the nannies interviewing for the job were actually men in drag.

No one thought the battle would go on this long, some major logistical error has delayed the inevitable. Over 50% of the units have just dropped out of the fighting. I hate to report that some of our troops are so disconsolate that they are committing atrocities. I have seen some units discard their non-lethal bunny stunners, and instead have taken to boppin’ em on the head. In one particularly gruesome event, soldiers poured warm cheese sauce on the captured bunnies! (I think it was a Welsh unit, if that wasn’t clear earlier).

The bunny commander (who this reporter would have to admit looks particularly fetching in her uniform) is getting noticeable agitated over the treatment of her troops. She has been seen on several occasions hopping up and down, and screaming “Bring me my cake! Bring me my cake!”

Hopefully this will be my last report from the Easter Front – but at this time, there is no telling. All I can say is that our tactician, Edgar Armstrong (we call him EA for short), had better fix those logistical problems, or it’s **sploosh** – warm cheese sauce for him!

**************

Well that’s it for this edition of From the Mouths of Addicts!  A big thanks to CGuy for this great read and keeping us all laughing while the game was maybe laughing at us!  What did YOU think of Cguy’s reports?  Do you have a similar experience with Easter?  Have you been taking advantage of the extra time before you remove Easter?  Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!

Once a week (at least) we plan on showcasing your words for the world, and TSTO Community, to read!  Here’s your chance to sound off on anything and everything in the world of Tapped Out.  Simply send in your posts to our Addicts email account: TSTOAddictsblog@gmail.com (many of you already do) and we’ll do the rest!  We’ll pick (at least) one post to be showcased here on Addicts every week.  So send us your posts…we can’t wait to see what you have to say!

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55 responses to “From the Mouths of Addicts: CGuy Live from the Easter Front!

  1. YAY….we are now over the 50 comments benchmark🎉🎉…..Cguy deserved it!……..who cares if half the comments had nothing to do with this post😜

    Like

    • I guess you could look at it like he made us laugh & enjoy ourselves & not take what went wrong for some people too seriously 🙂

      Thanks again Cguy!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Silly? Guess what? TAG **you’re** it now, & very funny having The Rich Texan whoopin it up & laughing at me in front of Moe’s 😉

      Trust me, it didn’t happen again 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • 😆😂😆 7 hrs and counting……just bought a new spray can..lol

        Once again…too funny, Cguy (see..on topic..lol)…..Let’s get that comment count to 100!👍

        Like

        • LOL, you bought a new spray can? Isn’t that cute, I just bought Sherwin Williams ;P

          Which reminds me, Cguy, you never mentioned bringing in the Sherman’s?

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post CGuy! A very entertaining read!

    On my very last two spins (blue and pink) I got both the Johnny Fiesta and the Blocko Store! That encouraged me enough to try my luck at one single gold spin (pastel fences). In case you haven’t noticed it yet, Johnny Fiesta gets used by Otto with a task ‘Satisfy the Munchies’. I’ve also been keeping Moe busy singing for his supper at the Singing Sirloin – I bet they would pay him NOT to sing… Heh

    Like

  3. Suzanne McClurkin-Nelson

    The humor was a wonderful diversion from the Easter ups and downs!
    You certainly have a way with words CGuy, maybe you should write for Jon Stewart?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. not sure where to post this, but its for those that are still holding out with easter like myself, looking for pink basket holders, add me please dwn_marmol, thanks

    Like

  5. CapCityGoofball

    Awesome posts, loved reading them, and laughing a lot! Definitely can relate. On another note, what’s the C in Cguy?

    Like

  6. I tried adding CGUY and MVERS (?) as the Easter update was coming to a close, but couldn’t find a player either specific name. 😦
    I was trying for one last box, at the time.

    Regardless, awesome posts CGUY!

    Like

  7. I just can’t believe that EA hasn’t forced an update yet. Good on them to (hopefully) wait until a fix is out.

    Down to 19 un-updated neighboreenos now.

    Like

  8. Cguy, these posts were so hilarious! I think everyone really needed this to keep spirits up during difficult times. I know Easter is over but keep making us laugh, ok? 🙂

    Also to anyone still zappin bunnies I’m jelly! My game is so annoying ever since my devices auto updated. Boooo

    Like

  9. I really appreciate the appreciations – it’s good pressure relief from RL.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Was absolutely brilliant!! Loved reading this daily. Has the absolute best way with words.

    OT. I just got 30 sprinklies from a Mystery Box. The first one in the 10 months of playing. WOO HOO!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Love the point of view, Cguy. Very entertaining read. I started my Springfield a little early in April. Originally, I hated the idea of needing to have friends in the game (never been much of a social gamer–I always used video games as an escape from reality when I was growing up and therefore tended to play by myself a lot) because I usually don’t make many “friends” who have the same interests as myself.

    However, once I started building my Springfield and getting absorbed into the game, I stopped worrying about needing friends and just started inviting people who left their names on message boards and such. I also found TSTO Addicts in a Google Search while trying to suss out information about the housing in TSTO. By then, I had already started the Easter update and had bought 300 donuts. I had quickly spent the 300 donuts on pink and blue eggs, an egg generator, a couple of baskets, and the Kang and Kodos topiaries. (boy, did I feel dumb about that later…)

    I lucked out and got Father Sean pretty early in the spins. I also managed to get the Banana Dictatorship and Blocko Store with the first truckload of eggs. Unfortunately, my luck seemed to pretty much stop there. When I started the Easter update, I think I was about level 12. Now at the end of it, I just hit level 21 today.

    I didn’t keep track (didn’t want to) of how many eggs of different colors I got, how many boxes I bought, or really anything except the results of my box spins.

    I was determined to get all the buildings and all the playable characters from the Easter update. I didn’t really care originally about any non-playables (Egg Council Guy, Mojo Helper Monkey, Chirpy Boy and Bart Jr, or Bunny #24601) but that didn’t stop me from winning the lizards and bunny almost right away. After reading on TSTO Addicts that the Egg Council Guy and Mojo Helper Monkey didn’t DO anything, I almost decided not to bother with them. Then I saw that they were part of the Easter 2014 character set, and decided that since I was a little late to the game already, I had to have at least one full seasonal character set to show for it.

    Now that I officially updated, my multiple Easter items consist of:
    8 Beach Towel & Umbrella (I don’t even have enough beach to put them on)
    8 Easter Trees
    10 Topiaries (9 Kang, 1 Kodos)
    13 Easter Ponds
    14 Easter Egg Piles
    21 Easter Gate (“holy cow, Catman!”)
    62 Pastel Picket Fence
    78 Easter Fence

    I have a few ideas of what I want to do with all this stuff, but I need a lot more squares freed up in my Springfield to pull it off, so for now, most of it is going back into storage.

    Like

    • Thanks for sharing! I’m certainly glad you found us! Hopefully we can help you avoid early donut spends in the future 🙂
      Welcome to the madness that is TSTO Addicts! 😀

      Like

  12. EvilKitten812

    I always hold out on events. Particularly this one as I cannot update until back in WiFi range. (House-sitting ATM, no wonderful WiFi) so if I can, I will be playing easter til Friday. Though I have a feeling I won’t be able to for that long. I will try to help as many as I can until its forced through!

    Like

  13. Just created a B game to play Freemium only and it has Homer and Apu preparing for Whacking Day!? Guess i’ll see how that turns out in 24 hrs. 🙂

    Like

  14. Empire of Anarchy! haha That was pretty great! Thanks CGuy for the laughs. I really needed that.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Michellebe158

    Love your post Cguy! My android phone has not loaded the update yet so I’m still frying bunnies. Sadly I can’t visit my neighbors who have newer content. ……but I reeeeally wanted Father Sean and Poppins.

    Like

  16. Read all of them when originally posted…..CRACKED UP…everytime! Just re-read, same results…😆😆😂😆😆

    Liked by 2 people

  17. so stinkin’ funny that I grudgingly love that an event so frakked that it inspired a post with a Thucydides fun fact and a Welsh rarebit gag.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Cguy, love your posts!!! On a different note, i am still Zapping Bunnis because i want my donut’s worth!! 🙂

    Like

  19. I just popped over to announce the glitch that it seems has already been discovered, and reported on. Certainly can’t say all was for naught though, the recap of cguy posts were very amusing. At least something good has come of all this easter insanity! And I will surely be waiting as long as possible to update, all I’ve gotten at this point is the banana dictatorship and Johnny fiestas, not counting all of the devastating piles of easter junk ea managed to pawn off on me.

    Like

  20. Had only read Cguy’s final day yesterday, so glad you picked him for this weeks FTMOA so I could read it all! I laughed all the way through!

    Great job Cguy, you are funnier than all get out… carry on soldier!

    Like

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