Hey Howdy Hey Tappers!
Welcome to another edition of From the Mouths of Addicts, where YOU get to sound off on anything and everything in the world of Tapped Out! This week’s post comes to us from one of our favorite Addicts, and frequent commenter, CGuy! It’s CGuy’s hilarious “on the scene” reports had us cracking up around the Christmas update, and he was at it again this Easter! This time with a battlefield twist…
He had many of us cracking up with his daily report from the “Easter Front”, so if you missed any of his hilarious recaps here’s your chance to catch up! Enjoy it Tappers I know it still has me cracking up…
Cguy hear, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-7 (7 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting side note, the D in D-Day stands for…. Day! Day-Day! Gotta love the creative military mind.
Our brave forces are preparing for the end of the Bunny Invasion, collecting supplies as best they can, although all the forces of Nature and EA seem to be against them.
Since D-8, they collected enough Blue Eggs to give them enough Pink Eggs for a Pink Box, where they found 300 Gold Eggs, which let them find a Gold Box, which gave them… 250 Pink Eggs. Yes, 1000 Blue Eggs became 250 Pink Eggs.
They persevered, and collected enough Blue and Pink Eggs to give them one more shot at a Pink Box. This time, they collected their 7th Easter Tree. Perhaps they can use these trees for fortification – although one does NOT want to consider the necessary camo gear.
On the upside, they have been fortunate to receive 1 pink and 2 blue baskets – a HUGE haul compared to the last 2 weeks. Although, at the time of this report they all stand empty.
Speaking of baskets…, we KNOW all the entirety of the BIF (Bunny Invasion Force) is composed of females, since they lay eggs. But what the heck do they bring that lays baskets??!?!!?! If these are more bunnies, I don’t want to go NEAR that anatomy.
Hopefully, the D-7 preparations go better.
From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Be Well.
Cguy here again (as opposed to hear – jeez, there should be an edit button), reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-6 (6 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting side note: did you know that carrots are actually BAD for rabbits? Our floppy-eared friends don’t eat root vegetables in the wild, and carrots contain so much sugar, they can lead to tooth decay! (I bet you thought I was going to say the H in H-hour stood for hour, but I am not – sometimes I just crack myself up).
Yesterday, after the report, started so well. Our troops had collected an unprecedented 4 blue and 1 pink baskets, and they filled up rapidly! They ran to collect the eggs, and then turn them into all pink eggs. This gave them enough for 3 pink boxes!
First box: the 5th Beach Towel and Umbrella – what is this, a battle or a vacation???
Second box: 300 gold eggs
Third box: 300 gold eggs, now we are getting somewhere.
Gold box: 2 pastel fences 😦 #’s 54-55 – the pickets aren’t even close enough to hold the fattest little Bugs out. Looks like our forces are planting carrots – if they can’t keep them out, they will rot those bloody choppers right inside their little pink mouths.
Despite their best efforts, no more pink boxes were collected.
In off the record conversations, all blame is being attributed to a certain supply sergeant. I am not allowed to mention his name, but his initials are EA.
The rest of the day was just poor, no new baskets, no Fabergé Eggs, no worthwhile items for going on 15 days.
Crossed-fingers for D-6.
From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Good Day!
It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-5 (5 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting fact about Invasions: To fight back the D-Day invasion, Field Marshal Karl Rudolf Gerd von Rundsted had ordered two German armored tank divisions to be moved to Normandy, but his superiors chose to wait until Hitler was awake to get his approval for the move, since he hated being woken up. I guess while the early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese!
After the unprecedented 5 baskets on D-6, only 1 new basket was found. True to his word, Brian Dockens rapidly filled it to capacity. What was the reward? 3 more fence parts, #s 53-56.
Some more rapid collecting led to one more pink box, this time with golden eggs in it. The subsequent gold box: pastel fences, #s 57-58.
It must have been a rest day, the rest of the collection went slowly, and no more boxes were uncovered.
Finally got an interview with Bluethroat, who sang me a song – but only under deep cover, so we met in the tundra. He claims that supply sergeant “EA” is in cahoots with 3 suspicious characters known only by THEIR initials: “A”, “B” and “W”. According to BT, they are trying to corner the market on eggs, baskets and boxes – which they intend to sell at inflated (one might even say “raised”) prices, i.e., plenty of dough! Nuts!
The rest of the day was just as bad as D-6, no new baskets, no Fabergé Eggs, no worthwhile items for going on 16 days.
Crossed-everything for D-4.
From the Easter Front, this is Cguy. Be safe out there!
It was a sad and unproductive day in Cguyfield.
It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-4 (4 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). Interesting fact about Easter: The name, “Easter” comes from a goddess: Her name was Eostre and She was the Mother Goddess of the Saxons of Northern Europe. It tickles my funny bone that not only the name, but most of the practices (rabbits, eggs, ham, etc.) are not Christian practices, but instead are Pagan practices! Go Goddess!
Again, sad and unproductive. Day 10 of no new supplies collected. The men could only collect enough eggs for one pink box – which gave our brave troops: Easter Tree #5.
So, avert your eyes, turn your head, there’s nothing to see here.
And that’s the way it is on D-4. Good Night!
You’re still here?
It was the end of a devastating two weeks in Cguyfield.
It’s Cguy, reporting from the Easter Front. It’s D-2 (2 days before D-Day, the end of the Bunny Invasion). I have NO interesting facts today, y’all are lucky I got out of bed.
On D-16, our troops needed:
Chirpy Boy & Bart Junior
Kang Topiary (sort of)
Today, on D-2, our troops need:… the exact same list.
Two weeks of constant tapping, visiting, cajoling — 35 to 40 or more opened boxes — for a sum total of bupkis. And there’s your Yiddish lesson for the day. It’s worth what you paid for it.
I am so unhappy with being COMPLETELY shut out for 14 days, I can’t bring myself to consider buying gold eggs, much less pink eggs.
I need a stiff bourbon, hold the glass.
D-Day happened at 0800 UCT this morning.
It’s Cguy, with my last from the Easter Front. Interesting fact about war correspondents: Thucydides’ coverage of the Peloponnesian Wars is widely considered the first known instance of war journalism.
Our valiant troops are engaged with the floppy-eared bunny enemy. The battle has been raging for almost 7 hours now with no sign of ending. Some of the general’s staff believe that the enemy can only last another 1 to 3 hours, but they only put a 60-40 odds on this, it could go on another couple of days.
After the court martial and subsequent firing squad dismissal of our former supply sergeant, his replacement proved much more effective. Due to the imminent battle, Command had to make some unexpected last minute spending decisions – they were likely quite painful. But nothing is too good for our troops, and when they went into battle they were fully equipped.
Since the battle is engaged, the inventory is no longer being embargoed:
60 Easter Fences
44 Pastel Picket Fences
11 Easter Gates
60 Easter Fences
8 Easter Trees
6 Easter Egg Piles
6 Easter Ponds
6 Kodos Topiary
5 Kang Topiary
The Egg Council Guy
Chirpy & Bart Jr
This doesn’t include any currency exchange, but accounts for 102 supply shipments – or more than 51000 eggs.
Our troops are confident that the battle will be theirs – they will drive those lecherous leporēs, including their leader – who will drive back to the basement.
Since this is my last report from the Easter Front, I thought the readers would enjoy a couple of interesting anecdotes.
I find it funny that when Lisa is babysitting Rod and Todd, Rod and Todd actually have to be there. But when Grandpa is babysitting Bart and Lisa, they could be all the way across town – and he doesn’t seem to notice. Now, is this intentional on the part of the Empire of Anarchy? Or was this is lazy oversight?
Even more amusing is when Todd is leaving Sunday School, and he is heard to say “That was fun! So it must’ve been bad…”, hopefully Ned doesn’t hear that.
Well, it’s been a blast keeping my loyal readers informed, and I will miss this, but — like I am assuming most of you — I am SO over this event!
It’s Cguy, with a completely unexpected follow-up from the Easter Front. It’s D+1, and no one expected the battle to last this long. Speaking of Mary Poppins, several of the nannies interviewing for the job were actually men in drag.
No one thought the battle would go on this long, some major logistical error has delayed the inevitable. Over 50% of the units have just dropped out of the fighting. I hate to report that some of our troops are so disconsolate that they are committing atrocities. I have seen some units discard their non-lethal bunny stunners, and instead have taken to boppin’ em on the head. In one particularly gruesome event, soldiers poured warm cheese sauce on the captured bunnies! (I think it was a Welsh unit, if that wasn’t clear earlier).
The bunny commander (who this reporter would have to admit looks particularly fetching in her uniform) is getting noticeable agitated over the treatment of her troops. She has been seen on several occasions hopping up and down, and screaming “Bring me my cake! Bring me my cake!”
Hopefully this will be my last report from the Easter Front – but at this time, there is no telling. All I can say is that our tactician, Edgar Armstrong (we call him EA for short), had better fix those logistical problems, or it’s **sploosh** – warm cheese sauce for him!
Well that’s it for this edition of From the Mouths of Addicts! A big thanks to CGuy for this great read and keeping us all laughing while the game was maybe laughing at us! What did YOU think of Cguy’s reports? Do you have a similar experience with Easter? Have you been taking advantage of the extra time before you remove Easter? Sound off in the comments below, you know we LOVE hearing from you!
Once a week (at least) we plan on showcasing your words for the world, and TSTO Community, to read! Here’s your chance to sound off on anything and everything in the world of Tapped Out. Simply send in your posts to our Addicts email account: TSTOAddictsblog@gmail.com (many of you already do) and we’ll do the rest! We’ll pick (at least) one post to be showcased here on Addicts every week. So send us your posts…we can’t wait to see what you have to say!