Tag Archives: simpsons tapped out

No Nukes is Good Nukes! Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Button

What a weird week for Nuking. Not that there is any “good” week for nuking.  But, Holyfreakinshirt!  The number of weird coincidences that happened on Saturday, make one wonder JUST HOW MUCH POWER does Alissa really have???

She had planned our Addicts Live session about Nuking your Springfield, well before the little “SNAFU” that happened on the VERY SAME DAY in Hawaii. So…did Alissa foretell the future?  Is the nimrod who sent out the false “You’re All Gonna Die” alert a disgruntled TSTO Player?   Did Safi and his Nuking demonstration have something to do with it??????

And most important…Would I Nuke if I could Nuke? And, Why WON’T I nuke???

These are all important questions to ask…
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Invasion B4 Christmas – Act I- The Math to Getting It All!

Let’s just get the whining out of the way… Let’s all scream altogether now.
1-2-3…
“THE ROBO-FUNZOS ARE NOT FUN!!!! THIS IS TOO HARD!!!”

There…feel better now?  No?

Well, yes, the little buggers are hard to see on white backgrounds…but, let’s remember how many of you wanted these updates to be harder, and not just a mind-numbing grind. Right?

Well…there is a lot going on, with a wide variety of ways to GET IT ALL…and the math is a little less friendly than in the past. But, it is doable…

Let’s break down the Math…
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Bonus Percentages – The Fertilizer in Donut Farming

When and if you succumb to the fine art of Donut Farming (as I reluctantly admit to doing recently), you are going to start also becoming a player that is at least casually obsessed with Bonus Percentages Earned from buying and placing a variety of items in your town, which may or may not be bought for their beauty or intrinsic value, but entirely for what they earn.  It’s like the difference between having a nice tile roof on your house, or an array of solar panels.  The tile probably fits the architecture and original intent of the structure…but, the panels are EARNING their keep…all of the time.

Or…think of it like fertilizing your crop.  When you add items to your town that have Bonus % increases, every KEM you farm, every character tapped, every rent or menu collected, will yield more donuts per square green patch.  30 KEMs with a multiplier of 200% will generate 1.2 donuts while those same 30 KEMS will generate 1.7 donuts with a 600% multiplier (at least according to Safi)..until you reach level 939.  See His CHARTS HERE.

Man…OK…so it still sounds complicated. But, using our fertilizer analogy again, your KEM plant will generate way more buds, if you fertilize it with Bonus %. Wait…are were still talking about TSTO?  And what kind of plant are you growing there, son??

As a recent convert (I won’t go into the why right now), I also started caring about Bonus % for the first time. The two go hand in hand. If you are going to  take the time to  farm Bonuts…you better pay attention to the BO-part of the term Bonuts, as in Bonus Donuts. Especially after you crest over the now-storied Level 939, and find yourself having to earn TWICE the number of XP (currently 1M) vs 500K (again currently before you hit 939).

So…Bonus % Items Really Start Mattering…if you want to play in the “big leagues of donut farming.”  I’d like to come up with some romantic or cool term for the “Big Leagues of Donut Farming,” like the “Sprinkle Show,” or the “Big Time Donut Duster” or the “Tragically Obsessed Addicts Who Play Too Much For Their Own Good.”  But, now that I am aspiring to be one of them, it is a waste of time and space.  I’ll just call it, BTDFBig Time Donut Farming.

But, why does the Bonus % matter so much to BTDFers? 
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Friday Filler – TGINBFOCM!

Thank Grog It’s Firday!! 

And Thank God It’s NOT Black Friday Or Cyber Monday!

I’m writing this early, because I am actually going to be on the road on Friday (today…but not really today).  I am still reveling in the reality of escaping Black Friday and Cyber Monday almost completely unscathed.

I had an “insider’s view” of how this all works, as my daughter Ali, who lives in San Francisco, and is in management with Gap Inc. (the online division), was actually working remotely on her Thanksgiving visit. It was amazing to watch…as she checked sales, comparative numbers, and then calmly stated “it’s looking like a record year for sales, and my business (women’s knits and action wear) are up almost 75% over last year.”

Yikes. Now THAT is a turnaround.  Gap Inc. also has a ton of other well-known brands, including Old Navy…and there was a huge turnaround in Brick and Mortar stores this past Holiday Shopping Frenzy…with online sales also breaking records on Cyber Monday.  Amazing. How “up” can you keep going?

Meanwhile…in our games…Black Friday and Cyber Monday were mostly like shopping at a casino…hoping to get the payout you wanted, when you dropped a few donuts.

I mostly skipped both incarnations… Did I feel Un-American or like a CrankyOldTSTOGuy?  Nope.  I felt relaxed…
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Friday Filler – Reality -vs- YOUR Reality In the XP and Real Worlds

Thank Grog It’s Firday!!

The entire debate about donut/vehicle farming comes at a really ironic point in my life. I am a little more than two months away from my 64th birthday. Yes. I am THAT old. Too young to get full Social Security, and still a year away from Medicare. But, one of my marketing clients, who is a financial planner, had me do a series of podcasts about “planning for retirement.” Man…did I learn a lot.

Mostly, I learned that I am NOWHERE NEAR being able to retire anytime soon. I won’t bore you with the multitude of reasons, but suffice it to say, that being self-employed for most of my life has been a roller coaster, and “pension” is a word that never really entered the equation. So…I will do everything I can now, to maximize my earning/saving potential (after I pay for two more weddings…), and hope that I live long enough to benefit from my work.

That’s kind of like the whole recent debate about XP Bonuses and Donut/Vehicle farming. The analogy is really a good one. The earlier you start, and the more disciplined you are, the better your “golden years” are going to be. Which of course is all relative, as none of us knows how long we will actually live, or how long TSTO will actually continue…rendering either argument or game plan completely moot!

That said…Here is my rough take on the best way to “Play Either Game.”
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In Defense of KEM and Vehicle Farming – Kinda…The Results and Conclusion

As promised, I have now completed a week of KEM farming, doing my best to follow Safi’s system…which you can find here.  

I begin, by once again stating that I have never really been a donut farmer of any sort, whether it be KEMs or Vehicles (Rat Trap Trucks/Bloodmobiles). I just never thought it was worth the grind, when you consider the value of the time spent.  As I have written about in the past, Life Currency (time) is more valuable than almost anything, especially at my advancing age. And even in my current state of semi-semi-semi retirement (I would retire if I could, and didn’t have another wedding to pay for in February…but still find enough time to golf and tap), I find that I need to affix SOME monetary value on time spent grinding…whether it is for Bonuts (bonus donuts) or the “incredible prizes” offered during the latest TSTO events. (spoken with tongue planted firmly in cheek).

I have to admit…I was surprised by the results. I was equally surprised by how the “new normal” has changed my view on what the term “grinding” means.

In the end…there is a recent change in the game, that may make Donut Farming a thing of the past…or at least not as attractive.
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News from the REAL Springfield…and the Day The Music Died

Let’s start with a Happy Labor Day to all of you in the United States. I only hope that you aren’t having to “Labor” today…and are enjoying the 3-Day Weekend, without Grinding for TSTO “bling” much!  Most of you should be waaaaay ahead of the calendar by now. So, tip back…enjoy your favorite beverage, and read a couple of stories from the REAL Springfield (well…one of them started here).

There is countless debate over where the Real Springfield is. But during a visit to Springfield, Oregon, to help celebrate the unveiling of a huge Simpson’s mural, the “Real Lisa Simpson” (at least the voice of the real Lisa Simpson) let it slip that indeed, Springfield, Oregon was the true Springfield. We never had a doubt…

But, apparently, more than just this revelation was hatched when Yeardly Smith visited here. Love…and a True Crime show were born…
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Let There Be LIGHT(s)!!!!

Wow. OK…so this has been the kind of week that makes one want to down a bottle of Dramamine in one sitting.  Politics on both sides of the “big pond” continue to make the ground shake with change and speculation.

But, even more important than who leaked to whom, and who will take charge of what, is WHY CAN’T I GET EVERYTHING I WANT!!!!!!

EA has really pulled the window to a narrow split for many of us who were unable to log on every 4 hours for weeks. Turns out that sometimes life gets in the way…and when I made the calendar, I thought, “this look EAsy!”  But…of course…they changed things in the middle of the update, because it seemed too easy for some. Bastids!

Now…I will likely be forced to make the decision whether I want to drop donuts on “Moe’s Cave” and caveman character (Another Moe???)…or if I am just going to go with my gut, and realize that creating a huge Cave/Springfield, which will be followed by an Egyptian Springfield makes no sense.  I WANT the pirate stuff. I’ve always wanted to be a pirate in my heart of hearts.  But, we’ll have to see how difficult they make it to get it all.

I also admit that “getting it all” makes me feel a bit greedy…when so many have so little (like the players who missed 2-3 years of free stuff!).  And when I take a look at what’s REALLY IMPORTANT…
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Animator is Working Overtime for This Event…Thanks!!


I know…I was whining about the length of these events in my last update. I don’t mean to look a gift “spy-gadget” in the mouth (in fact, it’s NEVER advised to look a spy gadget in the mouth, gift or no gift), but, I rEAlly (sorry, can’t help myself now…) want to make it clear that for the most part, I am really (see, I’m trying…) enjoying this update.

It’s not that the dialogue has been great, or that I think that a tidbit of story-line followed by weeks for grinding is the kind of event that EA should just keep doing forever.  But, what IS really making me laugh, is the amazingly creative animation that comes with even the smallest Freemium items won in this event. They are clever, hilarious, and continue to make me laugh every time I poke one of them.

Coming from the world of “Claymation,” I appreciate it when someone takes the time to add weird little details, and lot of imagination. Will Vinton’s crew had this talent…and then Nick Park, of “Wallace and Gromit” fame took it to new levels of hilariously weird, inventive, insane gadget ideas.

We all know about “Q” who is Bond’s gadget builder. This update is like morphing “Q” and Nick Park together…into a landscape that would make even the stodgiest CIA spy at Langley smile.
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Secret Agent Simpsons- FINAL ACT CALENDAR (Finally)


I know, I know…I’m supposed to be a “Kinder, Gentler, Less-Cranky-OldGuy.”  But, HOLYFREAKINSHIRT these events are loooooooooong… tooooooooo looooooooong!

See what I did there?  I just held down the “O” key and let the computer do the work of filling up space. Kind of like the EA programmers did for this last Act…which literally had almost the same prizes…falling on the same days…with minor alterations.  Talk about EALPish behavior!

But…if I am really honest, I have to give a salute (and not the one-finger kind) to the programmer/animator who is making all of these “Spy-worthy” decorations.  I think the characters are kinda, “meh”…but the buildings and decorations simply crack me up. I actually Laugh Out Loud at some of them. They are clever, well designed, and because they are clustered in my “Homage to Langley” section of my Springfield…I can tap a bunch of them and watch them all go nuts. It is hilarious.

So….yes….this last act is even EAsier (sorry…now that someone complained, I’m gonna do it forever), and everyone should get everything by simply logging in 3-4 times a day.

Here are the Calendars…
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