Tapped Out Premium Walkthrough: Kearney, Springfield’s Oldest Bully

Hi Everyone!

So I know Mark, the donut king, usually does walkthroughs but he’s taking some time away from the blog for work reasons right now.  However, we still wanted to keep all tappers, new and old, up to speed with walkthroughs.  So until Mark comes back you’ll see Wookiee, Bunny or myself covering walkthroughs.  But don’t worry we’re just keeping the spot warm until our donut king comes back!  So let’s talk about Kearney Zzyzwicz…

Kearney Zzyzwicz is a premium character you can purchase from the start of Tapped Out. If you’re wondering if Kearney is worth your donuts, you can check out our Premium Character guide on him here. Once purchased he unlocks a “Bully” of a quest in your game. Here’s the questline…

New Character Unlock!
Tapped_Out_Kearney_unlock message

A Victimless Crime
After tapping on Kearney

Kearney: Hey, Simpson! Gimme your lunch money or I’ll break every bone in your body!
Bart: Sorry, I speant all my cash on houses and decorations.
Kearney: But I’m hungry…and mean. Maybe you and your friend could steal me some food from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Milhouse: But…stealing is stealing!
Kearney: Like it says in the Bible: “it’s only stealing if you get caught.”
Make Bart Shoplift from the Kwik-E-Mart-30minutes
Make Milhouse Shoplift from the Kwik-E-Mart-30minutes
Keep Kearney free when complete

Bullies on Parade
After tapping on Kearney

Kearney: Nelson! Now come you’re spending so much extra time at school? Have you gone soft?
Nelson: Sadly, even if I WANTED to go soft, I’ve forgotten how. It’s the price of bully-dom.
Kearney: Good! Let’s get down to business! Since you’ve already got detention into the next millennium, there’s no point in me getting my hands dirty. I’ll create a diversion while you beat some lunch money out of geeks!
Make Kearney Dance a Jig– 4hrs
Make Nelson Shake Down Kids for Lunch Money 4hrs

Parental Priorities
After tapping on Kearney

Kearney: Simpson, you’re all right! You remind me of my son – he’s just about your age!
Make Kearney Take Son for the Night- 24hrs

Breaking the Slaw
After tapping Kearney

Kearney: Hey Bart! I found a bunch of rancid coleslaw in the dumpster behind Krusty Burger. Let’s go heave it at that dweeb Milhouse’s house!
Bart: But Milhouse is my friend.
Kearney: So? We bullies trash each other’s stuff all the time. Wait – do nice people have a different understanding of friendship than us super-jerks?
Make Kearney Dump Spoiled Coleslaw in the Van Houten House– 10 minutes

Just How Old Are You
After tapping Kearney

Kearney: Bullying is no picnic. Some days, I almost wish I was a weakling. It’d be nice to let somebody else do the pummeling for a change, you know? Man, I need a drink.
Make Kearney Drink at Moes– 8hrs

And with that Kearney’s storyline is complete!

You can check out other premium character walkthroughs here

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