Wookiee’s Favorite Halloween Moments


Hey there!  How are my favorite Addicts doing?

Well, the day is upon us…  Hallowe’en aka All Hallow’s Eve.  I am so happy people took the Celtic festivity and it metamorphosed into the event it is today. While I’m aware that America seems to take this to excess (we like to Super Size things lol), I’m glad we do because it includes The Simpsons TOH episodes.

The bosses tell me I’m supposed to include one of my favorite real world memories of Halloween with this post.  I know it’s not when I got punched in the face for my bag of candy (oh… if I could find that hooligan today) or when my cousin was born on that day effectively ruining my trick or treating (there was a really sad/jealous 8 year-old Care Bear that day).

I love Halloween, from scary mazes to evil clowns, hay rides to outdoor decorations and of course, seeing all the brilliant costumes kids come up with. This Halloween I went all out and am going to have a Star Wars themed car at the local Trunk or Treat.  America can be a scary place so some communities pick a safe place where kids trick or treat from trunk to trunk.  Anywho… I’m rambling like usual.  My all-time favorite memory has to be when my beautiful little sister was born on October 31st when I was 16.  Got to go a-haunting that night AND become a big brother.  (If you’re paying attention, yes, I do have 2 family members born on the day)  Halloween has been even more EPIC ever since that day because of her.  HAPPY BIRTHDOWEEN SISSY!

Well, before this post gets any more sappy, one of my favorite Treehouse of Horror segments is a spoof on James Cameron’s Avatar.  Although I’ll be the first to admit this movie could be a skoshi shorter, I really enjoyed it the second time I watched it.  I fell asleep the first time courtesy of Japan to US jet lag.  This was honestly the first movie I ever saw to make me think Blu-Ray was the way to go for future viewing.  In TOH XXII, the third segment is “In the Na’vi”.


 As much as I like this episode, the writing of this post has forced a certain unpleasant Village People song into my noggin.  Stupid YMCA-singing policeman, cowboy, construction worker and Indian making America’s Navy seem less than Macho, Macho Men… D’oh!

Anywho… This TOH segment starts off just like the movie it’s based on. Springfieldianites are sitting for a briefing from the military commander.(Chalmers? For real?)


Cletus and Brandine Spuckler clarify that this is not set in Kansas, Nebraska or Michigan.  Silly rednecks (Appalachian Americans for those easily offended)… they’re on Rigel 7… what other planet is there?  Krusty is the entrepreneur responsible for this gathering.


“We are here on this fukakta planet for one reason… Hilarrium!  Spray this on an audience and they’ll laugh at anything… and I need some NOW!  I gotta play a Nazi Party rally, oh yeah they’re back.”

Enter Bart as the Jake Sully-esque hero. He has volunteered for a program to regain the use of his legs.  Lisa is the scientist who fits him into the Avatar machine.


 “Now prepare to take an incredible journey across the room.”

Bart is stoked to be in his alien body.  If only he could get 5 minutes alone with his school bullies.  Ah crap… they’re Avatars too.  They don’t beat him up right then because his avatar costs 80 billion dollars.  Unfortunately his real body does not cost quite as much.


Bart gets to work as an avatar and is promptly eaten by a banana (you seriously can’t make this stuff up folks).  He is rescued by Kamala, a female Rigellian. Milhouse laments that even in alien bodies, Bart still gets the girl and proceeds to beat/have sex with all the living items of the planet.  (Watching the episode will mke that last statement much clearer lol).  Kamala is very in to Bart.

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Kamala: And now let us touch testicles and mate for life.

Bart: Don’t you mean tentacles?

Kamala: I know what I said.

Bart is enjoying his time with Kamala but almost gives away that he is not a native when he mentions Earth.  Fortunately for him, “on Rigel 7, lack of eye contact and too many details indicate the telling of truth.”  The union between Bart and Kamala results in her impregnation.  Bart finds out about this at the same time he gets to meet her parents… our favorite aliens, Kang and Kodos.


The only way to keep Kamala from being a cranky preggo is to give her Hilarrium which is excreted from the Rigellian Queen.


After seeing the location of the Hilarrium, Milhouse calls in the coordinates to the military.

Bart: Traitor! How dare you betray the planet I got laid on!

Enter Krusty’s army to get the Hilarium.  The Rigellians may not have any planes or tanks, but their planet does an amazing job protecting them!


That middle picture may be what an angry Bunny would look like…. be scared, very scared!

Poor Bart tries to tell Kamala that he’s been a double agent the whole time, but only finds out that his mate gave him Space Warts… and she got them from Milhouse!  What a Star Whore.

Chalmers prepares for a final Servosuit vs Bulldozersaurus fight but is foiled by Bart who lets him know he has some schmutz on his cheek.  Wiping it off sends him to his end.

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The ultimate irony is that “Had they asked for the Hilarrium, we would simply have given it to them.  “In Rigellian, there is no word for yours or mine.”

Ultimately kind of a pointless segment lampooning a popular movie but I guess I just like that Bart got lucky and we got to see some regular Simpsons characters as Rigellians. Love it or hate it, this choice gave me the chance to do this 2D as a surprise for you constant reader.  Yes you!  The smile on your face is priceless… nice curtains btw….. pay no attention to the Wookiee in the coveralls, muhahahahahaha…..

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Y’all stay classy Addicterinos… Wookiee out!

One response to “Wookiee’s Favorite Halloween Moments

  1. Just a little nitpicking. It’s farkakte, not fukakta.

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